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Threesome went wrong

838 replies

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 10:29

Hi all I'm posting this for a couple of reasons really.
One being I have noone else to get this all of my chest too as I haven't told any friends about it and Two to warn other how a potential threesome could go.

So here goes
I've been seeing a man for about 9 months, he has always treated me very well all the things I had been looking for including No games. Grounded. Mature. Kind . Funny and we have always just clicked from day one.

A couple of months ago we spoke about sexual fantasies his being a threesome, he said he would never make me feel pressured to do this though & was happy for it just to be a fantasy. As time went on I felt more comfortable with him sexually & said I would like to explore this with him .
He was clearly very excited & got to work straight away on joining dating sites & sites aimed for swinging / threesomes.
I left all that side to him as I'm not really into messaging people back & forth.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago he msg me and told me he has found someone, she would like to explore with us as a couple

He sent me the conversation between them and the photos they had exchanged, it was all very open and he said I could change my mind at any time ( which I have felt I can do)
We had arranged to meet her this friday just gone.
The past 2 weeks leading up to it, she is all he has spoken about it was like he was obsessed , i just said to myself well once it is out if his system maybe he wint be going on and on about her so much.
To cut a long story short ... we met her friday evening, I found her very attractive and there was an instant chemistry between us.
We all chatted for a while and then she made it clear she would like to take things further that evening so we booked into a hotel.
The thing is , she seemed very keen on me and was all over me , kissing touching etc. The man I'm seeing was initially into it he then turned and said to her can I join in now and she said no not yet I just want to be with her for a minute , so he respected that.
As things progressed she only wanted me , I stopped and asked her are you actually gay? Or not attracted to my boyfriend? That's ok if either of those things are correct however we were after a threesome, she then kissed him for a while and they started doing other things together ... I could see her actually wince though as if she just was not attracted to him in the slightest ... she kept turning back towards me and when he put his hand on her leg to get involved she said no and moved his hand off her.
It was all a bit awkward however I was quite enjoying being with her , I looked over at my boyfriend and he looked very angry , I had never seen him like this before!
She then went to the bathroom and he turned to me and said that he doenst want the threesome to continue and that he was going to offer to pay for her cab.
He was very short with me and it was clear he wasnt having a good time so I agreed.
When she came out of the bathroom I was polite and friendly and said it wasnt working for us as a couple and we would call her a cab. I was so embarrassed about my boyfriend's behaviour as he was grumpy now and didnt speak to her before she left. I walked her out to the cab gave a hug and said goodbye.
When I walked back into the hotel room my boyfriend was very cross and said shes obsessed with you! I said to him I'm so confused this is what your fantasy you have said for a long time that you wanted to see me with another woman .I understand she was more attracted to me then him however I couldnt help this.
Anyway his behaviour has now given me the ick and I dont think I want to see him anymore!. We went to sleep that evening and the next morning we went for breakfast he moaned about how expensive the bill for breakfast was ( it really wasn't) I had never seen him behave like this before now.
I offered to pay for it just to keep him quiet and to stop the moaning although it was his turn to pay as we often take turns.
I paid for the breakfast we got up to leave and his whole attitude was miserable. I tried talking to him and he was having none of it , again something I've never seen in him before as we have always communicated well.
By Saturday afternoon I was ready to go home , we had the weekend planned together but something had switched inside me after seeing him like this and I made my excuses and said I needed to get back as my children were coming back early . I made it up but I just had to leave , I couldn't stand to be around him.
I feel like theres no going back from this.
Any advice over what to do please?
Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
PansyPolly · 22/07/2024 16:28

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 16:23

Is cuckqueen actually a thing then?

Yeah, it's a kink that exists. But he should have checked with you if that was your kink before he got started down this road.

Anyway, you are well rid of his sulky arse and hope you meet up with the woman again, if you liked her!

PansyPolly · 22/07/2024 16:29

Mirabai · 22/07/2024 16:28

Our dear cuckqueen you mean.

Oh, that's fab!

LizzieBennett73 · 22/07/2024 16:30

Well I think you've got far more out of the situation than he has Grin onwards and upwards from here on, OP.

courgettes4eva · 22/07/2024 16:31

surely tell your close friends op?!

and have a giggle over a glass of wine about it

forestcreature · 22/07/2024 16:37

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 15:15

Ok as so many of you are so clearly invested ... I'm really surprised actually at how supportive people have been on here! Bar the few judgemental ones
Here's an update
Hes eventually txt me back & the msg has literally given me the answer I needed , it's over.
Amongst other things that he has said he blames me for ruining his fantasy that he has had his whole life , he said she shouldn't of found you that attractive.... um pardon me ? Hes then gone on to say he didnt think I would enjoy it as much as I did as it was "his" fantasy & watching me get so turned on by the unicorn has hurt his feelings. He has now said that he has found someone else already on another dating site who is willing to have sex with him and I watch .... I just said absolutely not and I've had to end it.
Obviously ive msg a bit more than that but the point is ive ended it. I cant believe how much my life has changed since friday evening 🤦‍♀️ I feel like hes used me to try to fulfil his fantasy. I'm done.

Edited

Wow - next level awfulness from him. Hard to believe he’d come out directly and shown exactly what he’s after.
Happy for you that you’ve expanded your horizons and all the best in your next adventures op!!

Lacky301 · 22/07/2024 16:38

It was a fantasy and should have stayed that way. I also don't think blame can just be placed on him. It can't of been nice been left out and I think the woman was rude.

forestcreature · 22/07/2024 16:41

courgettes4eva · 22/07/2024 16:11

curious about the “before” a threesome bit!

I don’t want to share any more details of my experience as it was more about pointing to the exp of the other woman in op’s post, but I’m sure you can find out more on the Internet if you want to explore this avenue.

And to the people that have sent me private messages to chat further - wtf!!

samanthablues · 22/07/2024 16:42

Good for your threesome! Thanks to it you discovered early on that your BF is a dic-k. You've saved yourself precious time and energy. From personal experience group sex is one of those things that will really "test" a couple (like going on a trip together or having a baby), it can make or break it.

alifetimeago1 · 22/07/2024 16:43

He reacted badly. But also the other woman should have spoken up and NOT proceeded if she wasn't attracted to him. It's very awkward but has to be done. I've been in this situation myself as the 'unicorn' - v attracted to the female, but not her male partner. During the date I couldn't think of a better excuse, and ended up saying he reminded me of my brother so I just couldn't.... Aghh terrible I know. But had to be done one way or the other. It would not have been good.
When it does work it's great, but everyone has to be on the same page, and accepting if anyone changes their mind - I've had this happen too and its absolutely fine - it's just sex, not the end of the world!

PansyPolly · 22/07/2024 16:43

And to the people that have sent me private messages to chat further - wtf!!

Urgh, there is a creep radar for certain threads, I think!

Sunnysideup34 · 22/07/2024 16:44

@Cherryblossom85 now reply the the woman from the other night! It’s clear there was chemistry and your a free agent now

PansyPolly · 22/07/2024 16:50

alifetimeago1 · 22/07/2024 16:43

He reacted badly. But also the other woman should have spoken up and NOT proceeded if she wasn't attracted to him. It's very awkward but has to be done. I've been in this situation myself as the 'unicorn' - v attracted to the female, but not her male partner. During the date I couldn't think of a better excuse, and ended up saying he reminded me of my brother so I just couldn't.... Aghh terrible I know. But had to be done one way or the other. It would not have been good.
When it does work it's great, but everyone has to be on the same page, and accepting if anyone changes their mind - I've had this happen too and its absolutely fine - it's just sex, not the end of the world!

It sounded like she was trying to get "past it" eg by kissing him as per the OP, but it just didn't work for her

Compash · 22/07/2024 16:57

God, he really did just see you as a resource to facilitate his fantasies, didn't he?! So dehumanising!

I love that I can write that in the past tense... good on you! It must have been a bit unpleasant to go through, but glad you've seen the funny side, gathered up your dignity and high-tailed it out of there! 🙂

Compash · 22/07/2024 16:59

alifetimeago1 · Today 16:43

I've been in this situation myself as the 'unicorn' - v attracted to the female, but not her male partner. During the date I couldn't think of a better excuse, and ended up saying he reminded me of my brother so I just couldn't.... Aghh terrible I know.

Not at all! I was thinking what a clever excuse, and quick-thinking on the spot like that! 👏

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/07/2024 17:02

What a Prince. Now you can contact the woman if you want to…

Choirreality · 22/07/2024 17:05

Message her! I am glad he showed his true colours early on- the threesome has done you a massive favour, it got him to show his true colours!

Your thread title should be ‘threesome has saved me wasting my time’.

Message her - I hope it goes well if you do get in touch with her.

supersop60 · 22/07/2024 17:07

Glad he's gone, OP. What a user and a loser.
It reminds me of a very old porn VHS that an ex had. I commented at the time that the two girls in the video seemed perfectly happy until the (much older) gentleman appeared. Real life is not like that.

BlackShuck3 · 22/07/2024 17:12

Hilarious!
He assumed he'd be the star of the show, he thought he'd have 2 women fighting over him!!
😂

Teddybearpicniccelebration · 22/07/2024 17:12

I'm loving this thread. When one door closes another one opens I think you should meet her for dinner and drinks. Who knows where this new special friendship will take you.

Jennyathemall · 22/07/2024 17:23

That’s nothing. My gangbang totally did not go according to DH’s plan.

izzygirlis4 · 22/07/2024 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GrinGrinGrinGrin

oakleaffy · 22/07/2024 17:31

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 10:46

Yes the poor communication since has been a massive turn off

I am NOT experienced in threesomes, but a friend who grew up in a ''commune'' as a child where it was meant to be ''free love'' amongst the adults said it was a nightmare.
Sexual jealousy is a very real thing.

Very few people can cope.

Threes are always a tricky number, as one is often left out, even in non sexual friendships.

Bollindger · 22/07/2024 17:33

This was never about your pleasure.
He was expecting to have 2 females fighting for his attention, and to see you jealous as he had sex with someone else.
A major powerplay, on his ego.
To be honest I would run away...

BlackShuck3 · 22/07/2024 17:33

"she shouldn't of found you that attractive"
I'd dump him for his grammar😂

LuckySantangelo35 · 22/07/2024 17:34

forestcreature · 22/07/2024 16:05

Why do you ask?

Cos she’s thinking about how she get her own threesome situation going

@courgettes4eva