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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Married to someone with Asperger's/ASD/ND: support thread 12

1000 replies

Daftasabroom · 17/07/2024 18:05

New thread.

This thread is for those of us seeking to explore the dynamics of long term relationships with our ND partners. Some of us are ND ourselves, very many of us have ND children. It is a support thread, and a safe space, it does get emotional at times. Avoid sweeping generalisations if possible, try and keep it specific to you and your partner.

It's complicated and it's emotional.

The old thread is here.

Married to someone with Asperger's/ASD: support thread 11 | Mumsnet

New thread. This thread is for those of us seeking to explore the dynamics of long term relationships with our ND partners. It is a support thr...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5081532-married-to-someone-with-aspergersasd-support-thread-11?page=1

OP posts:
MetooOP · 10/09/2024 11:27

Hey @LittleSwede and @BustyLaRoux and everyone else. Hope you are all doing okay.

LittleSwede · 10/09/2024 12:50

MetooOP · 10/09/2024 11:27

Hey @LittleSwede and @BustyLaRoux and everyone else. Hope you are all doing okay.

Not too bad all things considered thanks, still need to establish how living as separated is going to work. Feel like the lines are a bit blurred here at times but I think it's beginning to sink in for H and although it's hard I'm trying to keep clear on where I stand.

Hope everyone else is ok x

LittleSwede · 10/09/2024 12:54

Bunnyhair · 06/09/2024 18:30

It’s so good to hear things feel OK and amicable and you’re beginning to feel the relief of having. put the wheels in motion, @LittleSwede . I really hope they sort out specialist provision for your DD ASAP. What a lot to deal with.

Thank you, it sounds like we are at least on a waiting list for specialist provision now so fingers crossed!

Things still fairly amicable, I look forward to setting up my room but am careful not to rush as H is slowly processing all this and is very sad but keen to be friends and keep things roughly the same. Which can work for a while but it will be difficult to properly move on whilst under same roof! I might suggest we try the house shared as separated thing until end of year and reassess after Christmas.

Solly554 · 10/09/2024 13:34

Hello, in need of support as I’m at rock bottom with this shit. Three weekends in a row DH has refused to attend events that have been important to me. The second time, he said he was coming but was so foul to me in the lead up to it, that it started a massive row and I told him not to bother. Which is a win as far as he’s concerned. I know it’s triggered by his extreme social anxiety but I’m so hardened by years of this, I cant find any sympathy. I long to be with someone who finds life easier and is able to have fun.

I feel so angry and trapped. The anxiety is just one of the many issues DH struggles with - he’s negative almost all the time and blames me for the way he feels as he says I’m not supportive or caring. He’s a weird combination of desperately needy/ wants attention whilst being unable to connect emotionally. Hence I gave up a long time ago.

This thread is so helpful but now I know exactly what I’m dealing with, it’s made me detach even more. I just feel so sad.

Rainbow03 · 10/09/2024 13:52

Solly554 · 10/09/2024 13:34

Hello, in need of support as I’m at rock bottom with this shit. Three weekends in a row DH has refused to attend events that have been important to me. The second time, he said he was coming but was so foul to me in the lead up to it, that it started a massive row and I told him not to bother. Which is a win as far as he’s concerned. I know it’s triggered by his extreme social anxiety but I’m so hardened by years of this, I cant find any sympathy. I long to be with someone who finds life easier and is able to have fun.

I feel so angry and trapped. The anxiety is just one of the many issues DH struggles with - he’s negative almost all the time and blames me for the way he feels as he says I’m not supportive or caring. He’s a weird combination of desperately needy/ wants attention whilst being unable to connect emotionally. Hence I gave up a long time ago.

This thread is so helpful but now I know exactly what I’m dealing with, it’s made me detach even more. I just feel so sad.

Im sorry, it’s sad when the scales kind of come off our eyes and we realise they aren’t the people we really thought they were. You deserve to be happy just as we all do. I think we all get to a point where it’s not sustainable and it’s sad but he isn’t your responsibility and you most definitely aren’t responsible for his anxiety, that’s his responsibility to deal with. That’s where I get mad, how kind of dare him to make that your responsibility. Why do they always do this!!!!

Solly554 · 10/09/2024 14:45

Thanks @Rainbow03 that’s exactly it - the scales have fallen away and all those things that I’ve struggled with for years are explained. That’s not to say it’s all his fault. I know he longs for a partner who understands him - but do you think that’s possible? Will he ever feel truly understood by anybody? I think the connection he craves is just impossible for him…

Rainbow03 · 10/09/2024 14:52

Solly554 · 10/09/2024 14:45

Thanks @Rainbow03 that’s exactly it - the scales have fallen away and all those things that I’ve struggled with for years are explained. That’s not to say it’s all his fault. I know he longs for a partner who understands him - but do you think that’s possible? Will he ever feel truly understood by anybody? I think the connection he craves is just impossible for him…

I fully “understand” him but wouldn’t want to live with him. It’s ok to understand and not want to live like it. Its a social disability and some are just more difficult to connect with then others. Perhaps someone else may connect with him better but that’s not a fault on either of you. You could say that about anyone. The only person you need to think about is whether you can connect with him. If not then that’s it really. It is not on him to long for someone who connects with him and then make you feel responsible for not fulfilling this role. It’s his responsibility to make sure his life partner is suitable and visa versa. I think lots of people get so far along and then just get stuck in this no man’s land of general make do. It breads resentment when really we need to find the strength if we can to change the situation.

Solly554 · 10/09/2024 15:08

I know I’m not strong enough. Can’t do it to teenage DDs, plus I fear there would be such a major fallout that I might lose them completely. They absolutely adore him and he’s a very good father. They would be devastated and so worried for him, I can’t put that onto them. Plus they’d be so angry with me, I’d rather be unhappy for the rest of my life than risk that. Hence, like so many of us here, feeling trapped.

Bunnyhair · 10/09/2024 15:21

I think there’s only so long anyone can endure being angrily accused of not understanding / being supportive / caring enough about someone who puts zero effort into understanding / supporting / caring about you.

I do feel like all I am for my partner is some sort of service droid - he knows enough about social ‘rules’ to deny he sees me this way (and I’m a horrible, uncaring, persecutory, and generally nasty person who’s getting him all wrong if I ever share that I am feeling taken for granted - because he’s a Good Person and therefore everything he does can only ever be righteous and honourable). But his actions suggest that I have a purpose, and that purpose is to intuit and fulfil his needs so that he doesn’t have to articulate them, and facilitate all aspects of his life as unobtrusively as possible, preferably without ever asking him questions or speaking to him at all. Or making noise with my footsteps.

Rainbow03 · 10/09/2024 16:03

Solly554 · 10/09/2024 15:08

I know I’m not strong enough. Can’t do it to teenage DDs, plus I fear there would be such a major fallout that I might lose them completely. They absolutely adore him and he’s a very good father. They would be devastated and so worried for him, I can’t put that onto them. Plus they’d be so angry with me, I’d rather be unhappy for the rest of my life than risk that. Hence, like so many of us here, feeling trapped.

Sorry I didn’t realise you felt so trapped. I wonder how much of how you feel is fear talking. I don’t know the answer but I wonder would your children really disown you for wanting to be happy.

Rainbow03 · 10/09/2024 16:10

I wonder why it is that as women and as mothers we feel we are responsible for everyone. We have to be the ones to make it work and everyone else is more important. We have to be the ones making arrangements with family and holding everyone together. We carry an awfully large amount of the responsibility don’t we? We are really frowned upon for wanting more and if we do leave then it must have been for something we did.

MetooOP · 10/09/2024 16:34

@Solly554
He’s a weird combination of desperately needy/ wants attention whilst being unable to connect emotionally. Hence I gave up a long time ago. This thread is so helpful but now I know exactly what I’m dealing with, it’s made me detach even more. I just feel so sad

I can connect with all of this. My H is not needy so much, but is desperate for us to have our good, close relationship back but is incapable of doing what is needed for that to happen ( and incapable of realising too much has happened for that).

I also relate to these threads being helpful but also make me realise that there is no hope at all - opened my eyes to what the reality is.

H has been better since kids back at school. We have the assessment for the parenting support tomorrow and now I am scared that is going to kick everything off again and make everything worse. (Because all attempts at outside help have ended up like that).

Solly554 · 10/09/2024 18:15

@Bunnyhair It’s awful isn’t it. ‘Horrible, uncaring, persecutory’ - all of this resonates with me. My DH blames me for the way he feels about everything. And mostly he feels miserable about life, so that’s a huge burden. He’s also not really capable of finding ways to support his own emotional needs because he struggles with socialising and friendships. So all that gets put at my door.

According to him, the reason he is so unhappy is because I am no support to him, don’t care and criticise him unfairly. It’s truly awful.

DucklingSwimmingInstructress · 10/09/2024 19:35

Does he ever ask himself if he is a support to you, cares for you and doesn't criticise you unfairly?

(Im sure of the answer to that question already)

SpecialMangeTout · 10/09/2024 20:00

I asked DH before what he was going to do to meet my needs too (aka taking my needs in a project that was really for him).
He never answered. Not on the spot (fair enough), not later.

ThischarmingHam · 10/09/2024 22:07

The mind changing and then complaining at length about doing something freely agreed to is very annoying and hard to keep up with.
It’s as though one person said had yes and then another completely different person turns up and angrily says no, and what the hell are you thinking

MetooOP · 12/09/2024 11:43

Well, we had the assessment for family support and the women phoned back today to say she discussed our case at Triage and they think the best service would be back at the Integrated Autism service who do group work and one to one work with families who are newly diagnosed and look at things like social communication. emotional regulation/ understanding their own behaviour, and others' perceptions and expectations, and executive functioning and so on. She said she had spoken to my H and he said he wants to do this as he wants me and the kids to be happy. I hope it helps. It depends how receptive H is to it, including how able he is to recognise his own behaviour in what they are talking about. His natural reaction is to reject any responsibility or (perceived) criticism and his self awareness is very low. But if he can try to be open to what they say it might help. And it is an autism specific service which is what I wanted. Apparently he was offered this service at the time of his diagnosis and rejected it but says he is ready to take it up now.

Despite how awful things have been over the hols, I have also noticed that he is, in his own way, really trying, at least at times. I have not been able to be very generous in response to this, so I know I have to be encouraging of his attempts and to reward the behaviour I want to see more of. He actually came to me and apologised for something the other day, which never, ever, ever happens. It was a bit of a half-arsed defensively worded apology but still, its shows he was really trying to meet what he knows I want from him.

The assessment really helped me to see how 'disabled' H is by his autism. This thread has also helped me to realise this. In the assessment H was explaining his approach to getting the kids ready in the morning ( which always kicks off) and hearing him talk about it, it was so clear how it is all from his perspective, no insight into how the kids might be feeling or thinking or what they need from him to be able to co-operate.

Anyway, I'm glad its a specialist autism service as at the assessment she was talking about how they would focus on communication, not the ND and that just set off alarm bells for me, as approaches like that before have been disastrous. the person needs to understand how ND affects people's ability to understand what they are saying, and how it affects their perception of real world situations. You can't just talk to them like you would a NT person and expect them to understand. Its not just a communication issue, its so much more than that.

Hopefully the service will help me to learn how to better communicate and interact with H too, so things can calm down a bit.

SpecialMangeTout · 12/09/2024 11:49

I hope it will positive changes @MetooOP

A good friend of mine has just gone through her autism assessment and that service seems to have been really on the ball, incl loads of adaptations around autism.
I hope your services are just as good.

MetooOP · 12/09/2024 12:07

SpecialMangeTout · 12/09/2024 11:49

I hope it will positive changes @MetooOP

A good friend of mine has just gone through her autism assessment and that service seems to have been really on the ball, incl loads of adaptations around autism.
I hope your services are just as good.

Thanks. One of the things that has been so diastrous for how I feel about H is how he has never sought help for any of the things that cause problems, like lack of empathy or emotional regulation. So now he is finally accepting help, I guess I have to try to respond positively to that. I do have, what Gottman calls, extreme negative over-ride in relation to H, so I'm going to have to try to work on that to see if we can get to a calmer place.

TheRhodesian · 12/09/2024 12:23

Hey... everything's going to be ok. It is hard. I live that experience every second of every day. I am on autistic spectrum and know o much about it relating to my case but I would not be so well adjusted today without having had the diagnosis because the help available out in the world to understand the condition is incredible. The diagnosis allowed me to separate my emotions from my actions and understand what was disability related and what was not. Thos not related to disabilti were the ones I HAD TO BE ACCOUNTAL=BLE FOR but the disaility related ones were work-in-progress issues that seemed recurrent and potentially avoidable if I recognised the pattern of behaviours developing.

Personally, I woul strongly reccommend they get a diagnosis and begin the journey to understanding what can be done to limit the behaviours. It is not nearly as hard as it seems but without it the person feels the world very differently to neurotypicals and understanding what the triggers are is a major step forward for both of you.

You never know whether they may be entitled to PIP to some degree, or not. Without a diagnosis you'll never know and be unable to prove anything to DWP without medical proof.

With ADHD it can be a bit scary as it is a reportable condition for DVLA and driving. Some companies will NOT employ people with ADHD but that is arguable in employment tribunals as diabiltiy discrimination. Without a diagnosis, they can never begin to think about how an ND could potentially change their life forever for the better because you gain new knowledge about things you never consider relating to disability rights and adjustments in every sphere of life.

MetooOP · 12/09/2024 12:41

Thanks @TheRhodesian that's really helpful. H does have a diagnosis - got it about two years ago. He thinks it is the same people offering the service now. I really hope H finds it as useful as you did.
I don't think H will be entitled to any PIP though.

SpecialMangeTout · 12/09/2024 13:04

@TheRhodesian im impressed by your attitude and how you’ve approached things. Not everyone is able to do that, NT or ND really.

LittleSwede · 12/09/2024 15:07

@MetooOP sounds like the service might be helpful and that your DH is trying and willing to engage? Hope it makes things easier for you and your DC x

LittleSwede · 12/09/2024 15:14

@TheRhodesian I am sort of at the beyond the midway point of my autism assessment on the NHS and it's good to hear you have found an official diagnosis helpful for you.

I probably need to chase where I am on the waiting list for the last part of the assessment (with a Psychiatrist) as it's now 20 months since the NHS screening (AS50 and two others) which all came out as extremely likely to be autistic (47 out of 50 on the AS50!) And 2 years since my GP referred me.

MySocksAreDotty · 12/09/2024 20:48

@MetooOP that all sounds really positive.

Gosh I flinched when you said about the negative override, when I looked it up it matched my feelings hugely. Thank you for giving me new language for my relationship- this thread has helped me understand and articulate so much.

Sending 💐

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