Husband went to brothel says he’s innocent

[Hesatwat]

Husband has admitted he went to a brothel while on a lads holiday and that he didn’t realise it was a brothel and he just sat on the slot machines gambling. Said brothel doesn’t advertise slot machines but after scouring comments online say there are a couple in there. He is outrightly denying doing anything. He’s never cheated before. Says him and his mate just went to gamble. Says there were no women in that room. I want to believe he’s telling the truth but honestly how dumb can I be to stay with him now? Just to add he didn’t tell me I found out he had taken a taxi to the exact location of brothels with nothing else in the vicinity. Anyone else dealt with similar? What would you do? He is quite convincingly denying everything

That’s man hater speak and ‘they’ is generalist. You’ve obviously have never had a trusting relationship, where you can talk freely. This happened before we were together, so there is no reason for him to either 1. Tell me… or 2. Lie. We were watching a programme about Amsterdam . So reel it in.

'he didn’t realise it was a brothel and he just sat on the slot machines gambling. Said brothel doesn’t advertise slot machines'

That would be hilariously funny if it were part of a Little Britain or Mr Bean comedy sketch concerning some half wit who gets himself into hapless situations.

Sadly this is your life. Your man is a liar. He's prepared to make himself and you look incredibly stupid with this lame excuse.

I hope he is no longer your man.

If he wanted to gamble he'd go to a casino. I don't know about you, but I've never accidentally wandered into a brothel. I'm pretty sure there's no way that you could be sat in a brothel for three hours without knowing you were there. At the least he would have seen the women on "offer" and you would think he would be prompted to pick a lady.

I'd contact the friend's wife and ask her if the info was offered by the friend, or if she found out too, and what his story was.

You post on a women's forum that you're a bloke who knows how men behave in brothels because you've been there but it's none of my business that you weren't there as a customer. Logical. Like that's not important to the discussion and you aren't to be questioned.

Pm'd you

Op, you're an intelligent woman. Let's say he is being truthful and actually sat there for three hours putting money into slot machines. That makes him a complete and utter mindless moron who could have been open to discovering the culture of another country by perusing art galleries, museums, places of historic and literary interest and in the evening, delighting in the local cuisine.

The man at best is an oaf.

I suppose it’s possible that he didn’t know it was a brothel and that he dopily went along with his mates. But surely he’d have asked them where they were going. And even if he didn’t ask, they’d have been talking about it on the way there - googling photos of the different escorts, talking about what they were going to do, etc. The fact that he was with friends and that he likes to gamble kind of makes me wonder if he’s telling the truth, however. If you’d caught him texting escorts here in the U.K., I would be sure he’d cheated.

Why have you PMd them? Who gives a shit why you were there? You pitched up to defend a pathological liar who was caught at a brothel, before telling a woman who called you on it that she doesn’t speak for all women.

I see the "men go to brothels and strip clubs for the social aspects" and that doesn't mean they bought sexual services brigade has arrived to tell us all we are being silly for questioning men.

Time to leave them to this thread because you won't get any meaningful responses now.

If a man was with a group of men who wanted to go to a brothel then he’d very likely go but it doesn’t mean he did anything. I wouldn’t be very happy if a partner of mine was in a brothel at all but I don’t think it’s fair of the majority here to tell you to just throw him out. OP this is your life….don’t wreck it because a load of women who don’t know you and don’t care about you, tell you to leave just because they don’t think any man can resist sleeping with a prostitute.

I have often heard of men on stag do’s who don’t get involved. I know someone who went to Thailand and played cards with some of the bar girls while his colleagues were doing other things.

He is a gambler. He’s also a bit dopey. ..... and you are planning on spending your life with him? - really!?

She already knows that though so it’s not relevant.

The person literally asked (so they give a shit), and as it's a private reason I answered privately. You need to think about things and read the posts before jumping to conclusions. Also, of course one woman doesn't speak for all women.

Machines take notes now

Adding on to my previous reply, I didn't think to add that if he's given you some sort of STI, if you are here in the UK you can actually sue him for assault.

Gun him down in every court you can is what I say!

I started to think you should give him the benefit of the doubt but reading further on your description of him and his behaviour, kick him out.

So I think in your heart and gut you know the truth. I've been on numerous stag dos and lad's weekends away and you only get in a taxi somewhere like that with the intention of getting laid at the end of a night on the booze. I'm sorry but 99.9% of men who get a cab to a remote brothel are there to get their end away. It's classic 'what goes on tour stays on tour' mindset. And best case scenario - he's blown £400 in a brothel casino surrounded by half-naked women pestering him for sex, trying to drag him into booths and seedy rooms? Come on... he's completely disrespected you.

I wouldn't believe him. But whether it’s worth ending your marriage for is something only you can decide. If it were me, I would need him to be honest about it first. If he admitted it, said he’d been stupid but wasn’t strong enough to say no to the other lads, and seemed really sorry, I suppose I might consider trying to put it behind us. I’d never trust him on a lads holiday again, though.

He's a bit dopey and a gambler? I'd have kicked him out for those two reasons long ago, let alone this shitshow.

Now I'm curious.

"A lot of the blokes I know have bottled it"
-so you have been there with friends/people you know

"I am not a brothel loving bro, nor was I there as a user/customer"
-so you didn't want to be there and you didn't pay to get in or buy a drink while there as that would make you a customer

"it's a private reason"

Were you there doing some plumbing or electrical work and happened to bump into your friends? Were you abducted and forced to sit in a brothel while a lot of the blokes you know have bottled it? Are you a personal sobriety coach who has to stay with your addict at all times? Fascinating.

See, this is a useful man's opinion in the context of the OP's issue.

PM me if you must and I'll PM you back

Machines take notes now

Oh do they? You learn something new every day!
Mind you, I've learnt two things so far today. I never knew that batteries had a best before date either! Who knew?!!!!