Husband went to brothel says he’s innocent

[Hesatwat]

Husband has admitted he went to a brothel while on a lads holiday and that he didn’t realise it was a brothel and he just sat on the slot machines gambling. Said brothel doesn’t advertise slot machines but after scouring comments online say there are a couple in there. He is outrightly denying doing anything. He’s never cheated before. Says him and his mate just went to gamble. Says there were no women in that room. I want to believe he’s telling the truth but honestly how dumb can I be to stay with him now? Just to add he didn’t tell me I found out he had taken a taxi to the exact location of brothels with nothing else in the vicinity. Anyone else dealt with similar? What would you do? He is quite convincingly denying everything

So why didn’t he leave once he realised?

He’s still sort of maintaining he didn’t realise it was a brothel

Who did he go there with? If it was a group of mates, and he felt pressured into going, but literally just used the slot machines, then maybe that is excusable, but I guess you'll never know the truth will you. Unless you know the other girlfriends/wives, or the other blokes involved and can ask them if they have a better insight into who did what. But they could all be covering for eachother. It does sound very dodgy, but you don't have all the facts, and probably never will so I guess you need to make a desicion based on how you feel about it potentially the best scenario (innocently played on slot machines), and the worst (slept with a sex worker). Any large transactions on his bank account for that time/date? Oh would he have had cash, so would be untraceable. Do you think sitting him down and saying that the truth always comes out, and if he's honest now then perhaps you can at least discuss how you move forward from this, but if you find out he's lied further down the line, that it will 100% be over, so he's best off admitting what actually happened.

You’re all helping me to see this more rationally! Thankyou

"why would you go to a brothel when there are proper exciting casinos near your hotel?"

What did he say to this?

Nothing really he sort of side tracked and said he was with one mate and a ‘group of random lads he’d met’ and they directed him there. Frankly it’s laughable now I’m unpicking it

Well what a catch, eh?

Spends hundreds of family money on indulging a gambling addiction

Happily uses an establishment that exploits women in the worst way that ruins lives

Thinks you are an idiot

Lies.

Have we covered everything?

But that's nonsense.
He's doing his best to persuade you he didn't have sex there.

But that's why brothels exist, isn't it. For scummy men to get together with exploited sex workers.

He took a taxi to a brothel in a remote location just to play on the slot machines for three hours, did he, aye?

As If it’s not appalling enough to cheat on your wife and to use prostitutes who may well have been trafficked/there against their will, but he can’t even be bothered to come up with a half decent lie to cover his arse. He’s blatantly lying to you op, and thinks you’re daft to boot. I can totally understand why you want to believe him and I do not blame you for that but don’t do yourself the disservice, please. He took out a large sum of cash the day before, he took a taxi to that specific location despite better (real!) casinos being nearby and obvious, he spent three hours(!) there… he’s a liar.

Hmmm...it seems odd he mentioned it?!
You do get blokes going to brothels etc just to kind of window shop, they either don't have the guts or get the fear to do anything etc. it does happen, if it's a place like Amsterdam or Thailand where it's almost like you'd go to a brothel as part of the local culture?! Lol.
I think I might just about give him the benefit of the doubt. If he's never used sex workers before or cheated. But it really depends on what he's like as a person?

This.

If he didn’t have the courage to stand up to his “mates” and not go there/ leave at the first realisation of it being a brothel, then I very much doubt he had the courage to stand up to their cajoling to sleep with a sex worker.

There is also ZERO ambiguity about brothels. There’s forever a debate on here about husbands apparently only drinking at the bar at strip clubs, and definitely not getting any private dances…. 🙄 But this is a brothel, which serves one purpose. If you want a slot machine got to casino..

Vile.

Throw him back.

Also stop googling this place and trying to find even a modicum of truth in his lies. Even if he is now (after being caught…) telling the truth about what he did there, is that really good enough? He went to a brothel and LIED about it. At best he’s a liar, at worst a dirty cheat.

In the very best case scenario, he took money from the joint account to gamble in a location that supports the sex trade.

You know the worst case scenario.

Neither are husband material.

Can you look at the outside of the place with google maps streetview? Does it look like a casino or does it look like a brothel?

He could have got a taxi straight back to his hotel and he didn't, he stayed for three hours. He's lying.

Get an STI test, and another in three months, and a divorce.

I also thought Vegas, in which case it's a no brainer.

You don't take a taxi ride to slot machines away from your hotel etc in vegas. That would be clear cut intentionally visiting a brothel.

As you've said Europe, I'm not sure. Amsterdam? I don't know it well enough to know if you would take a taxi ride to gamble.

But it doesn't sound good.

Also, a brothels not going to want guys hanging along playing slot machines for 3 hours. They will have been putting the hard sell on them.

I don't believe him. Sorry, OP 😞

He didn't mention it.

How many lads were in the party.
How many of the lads took part in entertainment with the ladies.
Was it per pressure.

I won't tell you to leave him as it's your marriage and only you can decide what to do.
Just in case get an sti check.

It does look a bit like a casino

but the inside is very clearly not a casino. The women are everywhere. There are no slot machines in any of the photos of the place leading me to believe that he either already knew it was a brothel or that he knew quite quickly it was. Either way he shouldn’t have been there should he. Gambling or not. If it were me in a room full of naked men trying to get me to pay for sex, but I was ‘just there on a slot machine’ he would be enraged. He wouldn’t be looking for all other angles and trying to find some evidence that I’d been faithful after all

How often does he go away with the lads?

Ultimately he went with one mate but said nether had sex with anyone and that they met a group of lads they didn’t know. I know my husband and he would never been pressured into doing anything he didn’t agree with

Too often and frequently out until all hours more recently you’re suspiciously and now I’m doubting absolutely everything

How big was the taxi and this 'group of lads' normal taxis only hold a couple of people...does this mean his mate utilised the 'facilities', does his mates girlfriend or wife know? I would say that if he wasn't using the brothel then his mate was, but I think if one guy was like 'im going to a brothel' no way would the other guy be 'yes I will just play slot machines'...wouldn't they be more likely to stay out drinking or go home. Three hours on two slot machines 🤔

How did you find out? You said you found out about that taxi journey, but how did the rest of it unfold?

So you think a married man going " window shopping" in a brothel is acceptable behaviour.
That if , by some wild stretch of the imagination, he didn't actually have the balls to go through with the act, that's OK.
You think he spent 3 hours dithering about whether to do the act or not?