Partner being sketchy a week before our wedding

[ame888]

I need some advice.I’m due to get married next week and this weekend I found out my partner did the following things:

• Saturday evening: Whilst at his bachelor party, he contacted several escort services, apparently ‘for his friends’ (most of them are in relationships) apparently he did it as a joke as he thought it would be funny, and told me that no one turned up to the house
• He told me that they only went to a regular club. I found out he lied to me and that 3 of the group went to on to a strip club in the early hours of the morning and my partner got a dance (there no was touching, they were just on a pole in front of him)
• Sunday morning: He messaged salons about ‘intimate male waxing’ then deleted all the messages (said he wanted to surprise me for the wedding by being waxed)
• Sunday afternoon: While I was hanging up his washing in the living room, he watched x-rated videos and pleasured himself in our bedroom. I heard the shower going and walked into a dark room, his iphone torch was turned on and I went to turn it off and saw the website. I had already been intimate with him in the morning, but clearly this wasn’t enough. I would never had found this out if I hadn’t gone in the room.

I just find it such weird timing to find all of this out the week before our wedding and I don’t know if it’s a sign? He has been cheated on before and has always said cheating is the worst thing that anybody can do. I don’t believe he has ever cheated on me, I mean the world to him and when he’s had really low thoughts I am the one thing that’s helped him pull through.

However, this all doesn’t sit right with me and I’m trying to see it from an outsiders perspective as I have such an emotional connection to him, any advice would be much appreciated.

I’m assuming the wax inquiry on Sunday was because he was worried he had picked up pubic lice - while having paid sex with someone who had pubic hair?

You deserve so much better than this loser OP. He’s playing you for a fool.

I tend to agree with this. What is your relationship normally like?
How long have you been together?
I think it's important to tell him how you feel

Porn - all men watch. Don't kid youraelf otherwise
Strip club- i wouldnt be fussed as long as they only look
Escort- no no no!! Cheating
His story about calling for mates is bullshit

Ick! I would feel somewhat soiled and grubby just being around him. The old saying 'When someone shows you who they are, believe them' applies here in spades! It might be expensive to cancel a wedding but it will save a world of pain and anguish later. Don't ignore the red flags!🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Wow so many cheerleaders on this thread for base dumb low-life men. 🤯

He sounds utterly grim.

You aren’t actually desperate enough to marry him are you @ame888 ?

He doesn’t sound like marriage material. What a creep.

@ame888 Please don’t marry this man.
He will completely be unfaithful to you -As PP have said the minute you are pregnant or with a baby he will be using escorts .

You deserve much better respect.

Yes. This. It’s a huge mistake to marry men who think women can and should be used in this way.

I’m so sorry OP, I know it must be heartbreaking.

He sounds absolutely revolting. I'd rather marry a slug.

Sounds like ‘for friends’. ‘Just a pole dance’ etc are massive lies. In all probability he used an escort and is lying to you. Do with that info what you will.

It's a big decision with cost and family members. What are your boundaries and have they been crossed?

Personally these are massive red flags for me so I wouldn't progress with a marriage until he at the very least underwent counselling

Listen to your gut that is desperately trying to warn you off marrying him.

He's a repulsive slug.
I wouldn't trust him as far as I'd throw him.
Don't do it. You will bitterly regret it.

you wouldn't be posting here if you didn't already know op. You KNOW what your gut is telling you

Run for the hills!

This is a man who objectifies women, and by the sound of it watches way too much porn. Soon he won’t be able to get it up for a real woman - you , all you will be is a servant to this sex addled sleaze bag who will grow to resent you.

ignore all the women on here who have bought into the ‘oh boys will be boys’ crap. They are just captured handmaidens trying to justify their own partners shitty behaviour. Do yourself a favour, raise your expectations and find yourself a real man who treats women as fellow human beings.

And they all turned up at the same time 🤔

This was all in one weekend?

do not legally contract yourself to this man. Forget about the lovey dovey stuff.

The don’t marry him. This is him at his best.

fairly obvious the waxing was a lice fear…

This, in my opinion, is 100% cocaine fuelled behaviour.

Oversexualised behaviour, crossing boundaries in a surprising way, that he'd been continuing acting like that - I'd bet money he was on coke the whole way through.

Some men act like sex crazed monsters on coke and compulsively contact escorts and watch porn. It would also explain why he doesn't act like this "normally" — he cracked into the cocaine for the stag do and this was result.

Not an excuse in any way of course but just my hint if it solves any confusion in your mind about where this sketchiness suddenly came from & the weird watching porn in the bedroom behaviour sounds precisely like someone who was cracking on from the night before. The intimate waxing also sounds precisely like a weird coked up idea too.

How are you OP? @ame888 a lot has been said here, it's a lot to take in. Have you spoken to your fiancé? Or anyone IRL? Hope you're ok x

Cancelling a wedding will seem like a huge thing now. There is embarrassment and disappointment and shame. And it will feel like a huge thing for a while. But it is better and easier than divorce.

Have you cancelled
Please do
Please do, marry in haste repent at leisure.