Help and empathy needed please feeling fragile.

[NChangenowp]

I have messed up very badly. Please be kind. I'm devastated. I sent some very rude messages about my daughter's best friend to my daughter privately. She dropped her friends phone so lent her friend her own phone. Friend and family have seen my messages. Daughter also did some. And husband. Mine were the worst. I cannot excuse it. I'm not in good place. I have apologised deeply. I am extremely ashamed. I never did this as a teen. I can't believe I've done now. I think I've destroyed her friendships and mine with the mothers. I cannot believe this. I have had the menopause. It's no excuse. I said the girl was vile. And I do t actually mean it. I was annoyed by the teen rebellion the time on small things. And she made some unpleasant comments. But vile is very strong. Has anyone forgiven anyone that's done anything like this? I'm devastated. I've written an extensive and honest deep apology. Please help. I'm destroyed. I can't believe I've been sucked into teen angst.

What exactly do you fear?

Their opinion? Being lonely? Being bored? Being embarrassed? Not having friends for you and your daughter to do things with?

There are 8 billion people on the planet. It doesn't sound as though there was a healthy, non-toxic relationship with these people. Perhaps this is a sign that you need to put the relationship in your past and work on forging healthier friendships.

There are worse things than being alone and doing things alone. Your daughter should be prioritizing education, work, the rest of her life. Focus on what this wide world has to offer, and how to be productive, rather than dwelling on spilt milk.

Being lonely. I hate it. I'm an extrovert. I hate it.

The group overall was nice. Some mums and this girl a bit controlling. Boy overall ok. Better than no friends.

All of that. All of it.

"better than no friends" a phrase I've never understood.

Having no friends is torture.

It might be difficult and not ideal, but it isn't torture. Are these neighbours your only friends? No other friends outside this particular family and the associated friends? Any old school friends, uni friends, work friends, etc etc?

As an extrovert, you surely should not be daunted by getting out there and meeting new people?

OP, you need to calm down, if the way you're posting on here is what your modelling to your 16 year old it is not good.

Mistakes have clearly been made all round, including by the girl who decided to snoop on private messages.You can only apologise for any hurt caused and move on.

But mainly, calm down.

This group are connected to all the mothers where I live. It's very hard.

I agree, just own it, back yourself for how you felt at the time. Just shrug and say 'oh well'. Snooping never ends well, she brought that on herself. Don't apologise anymore, you make yourself look worse.

Well I'd never forgive you . I can't see any possible way back. Learn the lesson , telling everyone here to be kind yet you chose words totally over the top and hurtful . See the irony .

Are YOU drunk, OP? Because maybe that would explain both the very dramatic posts and your 16 year old getting pissed.

I do see it. I hate myself.

I Am not drunk. This is a difficult situation.

It's a very difficult situation. Help.

What help do you think we can give you exactly?
You did a daft thing and you have apologised, which unfortunately dosen't reverse time but there is no point at all repeatedly asking for help here.
There is nothing anyone can do apart from advise you to move on

@NChangenowp You aren’t taking anyone’s advice. There is nothing left for anyone to say. There isn’t a magic wand to reverse it, but ffs if you are this frustrating in real life they probably have used the texts as a reason to drop you. You are behaving like you are a mortified teenagers rather than the adult in the situation.

OP you keep saying Help, but no-one can help you out of this.

You all have to just ride out the storm

Or move neighbourhood, schools etc for a fresh start.

OP, no one can help you, you can only help yourself. The level of drama here is off the scale and if you're behaving like this in front of your daughter that's a very poor example of how to recover from a mistake.
All you can do is accept it and move on. Your comments weren't that bad, they were justified at the time and you've apologised so time to move on. I'm sure your daughter will reignite friendships in the group, teens are always blowing hot.

You won't listen or be rational and I think you've ignored all suggestions to seek therapy or help IRL. this is an OTT response and you keep coming back bumping the thread which is very attention seeking.

I am worried about your MH OP. You've obviously had a tough time but this is not normal.