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Dating would you find this weird?

147 replies

Lavenderfields121 · 09/07/2024 06:34

Heya. I met someone quite recently and went to his place yesterday for a meet up. All went well and he was very nice and we had a lovely evening. He seems to be a bit unusual though and although it didn’t creep me out it confused me a bit if this makes sense so was wondering what other people would make of someone who collects weapons (not guns). I just found it a bit strange to see them mounted on the walls but I know that it’s a hobby so maybe I just watched too many horror films 😂
There was also a baseball bat under the bed which I found really odd (it was sticking out so I saw the handle). I did ask him about it and he said that his biggest fear would be someone breaking into his house at night and that the bat made him sleep better. Do people really do this? I have only ever seen stuff like this on the tv and I almost wanted to laugh but didn’t because it would be mean if he was seriously worried.
Now he seems super nice and interesting but definitely a bit quirky and I’m not sure if other people would find this weird or just me. Thanks!

OP posts:
Kiitos · 09/07/2024 06:37

Yeah I agree, I would find it weird too. The baseball bat more so than the weapons (though the weapons wouldn’t be appealing to me either).
I would find it odd that he was scared to sleep in his house alone, and part of me would wonder if he had reason to be - is someone out to get him?
Probably irrational but those would be my thoughts

DustyLee123 · 09/07/2024 06:38

Yes, it’s weird, and it’s a red flag.

TheStickySweethearts · 09/07/2024 06:39

Not loving the vibe of fear and violence, I'm a cynical aul' witch these days so it'd be a no from me!

Cardamomandlemons · 09/07/2024 06:43

I once dated an ex-soldier, one time he jumped out of bed in the middle of the night looking for his gun (just a nightmare, he didn't have a gun by then).

With this guy, I'd be scared that if you stayed over and went to the loo in the middle of the night he'd mistake you for an attacker, actually it's a scary thought.

Lavenderfields121 · 09/07/2024 06:46

Yeah I was wondering if that sounded like some weird paranoia (the break in fear)

OP posts:
DazedAndKerfuddled · 09/07/2024 06:55

I dont collect weapons but i do keep a baseball bat under my bed for exactly that reason

When i lived in a worse area i had my house staged so i had something hidden but accessible in every room

I mean i lived next to a heroin dealer and had to file reports for pissed off customers getting the wrong house... once with a machete in hand

I dont see it as strange, i see it as a coping mechanism

Bittenonce · 09/07/2024 07:13

So best case is he's just paranoid and also has a thing about weapons.
That's the best case.
Not sure I'd be wanting to spend much more time in his bedroom.

Walking12345 · 09/07/2024 07:13

I think location is relevant here. I think this is unusual in the UK and I would feel uncomfortable.

Lavenderfields121 · 09/07/2024 07:15

I’m in the UK and he does not live in a bad area (though he might have in the past which might explain things).

OP posts:
twentysevendresses · 09/07/2024 07:17

That would really give me 'get out now' vibes I'm afraid...and I'd never be able to sleep over! I'd be imagining an 'Oscar Pistorius' situation where I'd be slaughtered whilst having my 2am wee!!

BarraNayk · 09/07/2024 07:20

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GreenSmithing · 09/07/2024 07:31

Yes, that would have me backing away. The combination of 'keen interest in weapons' plus 'anxiety about safety' seems a bad mix. Either on their own I would be dubious about. If nothing else, we'd have very different ideas about interior design. But together it would be a red flag. Too many cases of men killing their partners and claiming they thought they were an intruder. (Did they really? Who knows).

Devilsmommy · 09/07/2024 07:33

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🤣🤣🤣

Subfusc · 09/07/2024 07:37

Assuming the weapons are knives or swords of some kind, I would be deeply unimpressed that I found myself alone in a house with a virtual stranger who had a collection of things he could kill me with, plus an extra blunt instrument under the bed. It’s a shite ‘hobby’, and it would be a clear signal to me that the relationship was unlikely to go anywhere. And also, OP, not what you asked, but I wouldn’t go to the house of someone you barely know. Stick to public places this early.

Subfusc · 09/07/2024 07:40

GreenSmithing · 09/07/2024 07:31

Yes, that would have me backing away. The combination of 'keen interest in weapons' plus 'anxiety about safety' seems a bad mix. Either on their own I would be dubious about. If nothing else, we'd have very different ideas about interior design. But together it would be a red flag. Too many cases of men killing their partners and claiming they thought they were an intruder. (Did they really? Who knows).

Edited

And yes to this. The combination of collecting decorative weapons, and keeping one to hand under the bed for self-defence, is a bad combination.

HazelLion · 09/07/2024 07:41

I guess it depends on what the weapons on the wall are? For example, is he a film nerd with replica swords from the Lord of the Rings? That's not too unusual for nerdy guys. The baseball bat doesn't strike me as all that strange, we have a heavy flashlight under the bed just in case.

BobbyBiscuits · 09/07/2024 07:45

The bat under the bed isn't that weird. We do have one, lol.
The collecting weapons would put me right off though. I'd be too worried he could decide to use them if he got angry! I also associate it (weapons collecting) with far right, racism, incels, even potential terrorism.
Rightly or wrongly, I would probably not want to date him.

RivkaTheBold · 09/07/2024 07:51

Knives or swords on the wall would give me the instant ick. It's weird.

covetingthepreciousthings · 09/07/2024 08:24

HazelLion · 09/07/2024 07:41

I guess it depends on what the weapons on the wall are? For example, is he a film nerd with replica swords from the Lord of the Rings? That's not too unusual for nerdy guys. The baseball bat doesn't strike me as all that strange, we have a heavy flashlight under the bed just in case.

Edited

Agree with this, maybe more context needed. I have a friend who collects swords but in the replica movie sense and I don't find it weird at all.

If it was a whole host of weapons it would make me feel a bit on edge though.

GoldFrame · 09/07/2024 08:27

Run for the hills

Lavenderfields121 · 09/07/2024 08:52

Sorry it’s apparently a mix of real and training (sports) weapons. Knives, swords, axes, archery stuff and some weird spiky ball things and so. I think I would not have wondered had it been one or the other but the thing under the bed was the moment when I started to wonder. But I guess some people have the same fear here so that doesn’t seem too unusual then.

OP posts:
Sally783 · 09/07/2024 08:55

I personally wouldn’t like that.

Roryhon · 09/07/2024 08:56

I’m completely missing the point here, but if any intruders broke in and could help themselves to an array of axes and swords that he’s left out for them, how does he think a baseball bat is going to save him??

FloydPink · 09/07/2024 09:06

I really cannot believe those saying red flag!!

We all have hobbies and often other peoples do seem weird. I have no idea why people would want to spend a day by a river catching fish, collecting teddies or stamp collecting but each to their own.

I do have a WW1 bayonet - dad got it for me when I was younger as was interested in history, especially WW1 & WW2. Just kept it and have had it under the bed for the last 25 years. Would I actually remember it if I did have a break in, maybe. It's just something fun and my son used to be impressed with it, as were his friends.

It will also come in useful when daughter brings home boyfriends in the future (joke!).

People collect all sorts of stuff, so I really dont see an issue.

FatmanandKnobbin · 09/07/2024 09:14

My ds collects replica swords from films, they have pride of place in his house, its not weird at all. Loads of people collect things.

When I lived in a pretty rough area I kept a bat under my bed as well, so that's not weird to me either.

Do you have other concerns about this guy?