Dating would you find this weird?

[Lavenderfields121]

Heya. I met someone quite recently and went to his place yesterday for a meet up. All went well and he was very nice and we had a lovely evening. He seems to be a bit unusual though and although it didn’t creep me out it confused me a bit if this makes sense so was wondering what other people would make of someone who collects weapons (not guns). I just found it a bit strange to see them mounted on the walls but I know that it’s a hobby so maybe I just watched too many horror films 😂
There was also a baseball bat under the bed which I found really odd (it was sticking out so I saw the handle). I did ask him about it and he said that his biggest fear would be someone breaking into his house at night and that the bat made him sleep better. Do people really do this? I have only ever seen stuff like this on the tv and I almost wanted to laugh but didn’t because it would be mean if he was seriously worried.
Now he seems super nice and interesting but definitely a bit quirky and I’m not sure if other people would find this weird or just me. Thanks!

I have a baseball bat in my bedroom. I live in a really nice area. I’ve watched too many horror movies.

This sound a bit creepy and weird tbh. I do actually have a baseball bat under my bed in case an intruder broke into the house. We live on a road where there has been lots of burglaries. But I’m not sure I’d be using it tbh and I usually forget it’s there. However mounting weapons on the wall is strange.

My best friend when I was about 10 years old slept with a baseball bat next to her bed. Bad area so I did completely get it. I would stay over and feel safe enough knowing she had her trusty bat.
The weapons on the wall remind me of those funny pictures you see online where men are posing with roses in one hand and a massive rifle in the other. Dating profile pictures gone wrong etc. I realise I sound weird, someone here might know what I'm taking about.
Side steps away

I’ve read that, unless you’re a career criminal, the person your weapon is most likely to injure or kill is yourself or your children.

And unless you’re a skilled weapon-user, an intruder is more likely to grab the weapon and use it against you.

Would any of you weapon-owners think it odd if someone said 'I don't want to date you any more; your weapon collection is off putting for me'?

I can't imagine so. It's understandable that people don't always understand each other. Dating is a filtering mechanism. If my hobby makes you uncomfortable, we're not compatible. It doesn't mean that anyone is menacing, or a murderer, though.

@Lavenderfields121 I guess his actions need to show you he is a nice guy. People collect all sorts of shit and that doesn't make them good or bad. Their actions determine who they are and you need to take your time to get to know him and let his actions demonstrate to you the sort of person he is.

You were sufficiently concerned about his collecting hobby to post on here, which suggests a degree of unease on your part. Time is your friend here, so use it and take it slowly if you are interested in a relationship and let him show you who he is. If you just want to shag him, then make sure he comes to yours!

🤣🤣🤣🤣 🤦🏼‍♀️🙄 he Collect's weapons yeah a weird hobby but each to their own. He has a baseball bat under his bed? Thats normal really i know lots of people who have things like that near their beds etc I have one too as I'm a single mum of 4 and wouldn't think twice to smashing someone with it if they broke into my home. I think your over thinking if honest. Some of the comments in here don't help lmao some women can be way OTT and dramatic ffs 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

Some of the comments in here don't help lmao some women can be way OTT and dramatic ffs

@iwonderland Yeah lol women are so dramatic.

Idk it felt pretty OTT and dramatic when my male ex held a sword to my throat and threatened to kill me.

But sure. I'm the dramatic one for now not liking swords.

Too weird for me.

(In my old line of work I knew a few criminals, out of curiosity one day I asked one how people should react to be safer during a burglary. He said to just pretend to be asleep/don't challenge or the weapon will most likely be used against the victim or it would at best escalate the situation.)

Why would anyone want ugly weapons that can inflict terrible harm on their walls.

He's a complete weirdo imo and you'd better hope he hasn't got a screw loose.

If your happy with that, and you're at ease going into his home and being surrounded by ugliness, that's completely up to you.

I've always been a collector, although not of big things like weapons, so can understand the collector mentality. My husband has always kept a table leg handy at night in case of intruders and I know several people who have a baseball bat or something similar under the bed, so that wouldn't worry me at all.

But that’s your experience that’s not every man, people have weird hobbies, some weirder than others don’t mean every man who collects stuff like this means they’re abusive. 🙄

It's the collection of weapons that would bother me, rather than the baseball bat. When dh lived with his parents, before we married, one night he woke up and there were 2 men downstairs, he went into his parents and told them to stay in their room whilst he made his way down to phone the police from the only phone in the house (it was the days before mobile phones). As he was phoning they bashed him on the head then ran away, he ended up in hospital and after that swore he would never be left so vulnerable again. They didn't live in a dodgy area, they just happened to live near a motorway and the police said it was because the burglars would have a quick exit. From then on he's always slept with some kind of a bat nearby, he keeps it in the wardrobe for easy access.

@iwonderland

What do you suggest these 'over dramatic' women do with their feelings of discomfort? Stop having them? Ignore them, so that they can stay with a man they're not comfortable with? I'm interested to know how you go about dealing with your own feelings; do you respect them, or repress, criticise, and dismiss them, as you're trying to do with the feelings of others?

That's not what I'm saying ffs again drama drama drama just for an argument. This site is full of you's who wanna argue. All I said was and again I'll repeat as I'm clearly a parrot. Not all men are the same as some of the men others have experienced it could just be a harmless hobby which is a little weirder than other hobbies. I'm not saying anything am I about disregarding others emotions, thoughts etc I'm literally saying it could just be a weird hobby don't mean he's going to be a serial killer, abuser ffs

I'm literally saying it could just be a weird hobby don't mean he's going to be a serial killer, abuser ffs

This post offers quite a lot of unnecessary drama itself, @iwonderland , and it isn't 'literally' what you were saying at all.

You're right, it could just be a hobby. So, what should OP, and the others who would feel uncomfortable about it, do with their feelings? How do you deal with yours, when something stresses you out?

yes it was what I was saying. 🙄

If more women paid more attention to their own initial feelings of discomfort and unease around men at the early stages of a relationship, their lives would be immeasurably better.

some women can be way OTT and dramatic ffs

is what you said, regardless of what you meant. It's very different from

it could just be a weird hobby don't mean he's going to be a serial killer, abuser

What do you suggest women do with their feelings, if the feelings seem a bit dramatic? You don't want to answer this, do you :)

Why were you looking at his bedroom?

I’d say instead of posting on here about this weird hobby get rid 🤷🏼‍♀️ if you find it weird and don’t like it why create a post about it anyways. 🙄

if you find it weird and don’t like it why create a post about it anyways

Perhaps OP understands forums and empathy.

You don’t get empathy on here just judgemental people telling you what to do when some things can easily be innocent like this hobby for example yet she’s being told to run because of ‘everyone’ else’s experiences. When 1. Not all men are the same and shouldn’t be tarnished with the same brush and 2. It’s just a hobby don’t mean he’s going to end up being an abuser, a killer or whatever else is being conjured up on this post.

@Lavenderfields121 Heya. I met someone quite recently and went to his place yesterday for a meet up.

Yes I find it weird and if I was him I would have second thoughts about a woman who comes to an online strangers home on a first date. His gun collection? Whatever, people have hobbies, the baseball bat under his pillow? That has more red flags than a commie convention, sounds like the paranoid type who thinks everyone is “out to get him”, but then he might be a drug dealer or involved in shady business so he has a reason for “bunkering up”. I’m not sure who has more red flags to be honest, him or you.

🤣🤣🤣 lovely support and advice here!!