Dating would you find this weird?

[Lavenderfields121]

Heya. I met someone quite recently and went to his place yesterday for a meet up. All went well and he was very nice and we had a lovely evening. He seems to be a bit unusual though and although it didn’t creep me out it confused me a bit if this makes sense so was wondering what other people would make of someone who collects weapons (not guns). I just found it a bit strange to see them mounted on the walls but I know that it’s a hobby so maybe I just watched too many horror films 😂
There was also a baseball bat under the bed which I found really odd (it was sticking out so I saw the handle). I did ask him about it and he said that his biggest fear would be someone breaking into his house at night and that the bat made him sleep better. Do people really do this? I have only ever seen stuff like this on the tv and I almost wanted to laugh but didn’t because it would be mean if he was seriously worried.
Now he seems super nice and interesting but definitely a bit quirky and I’m not sure if other people would find this weird or just me. Thanks!

@iwonderland

OP has asked for people's opinions, and how they would feel in the same situation. That's what people are telling her. There are many empathic responses, and no responses saying all men are the same/should be tarnished etc.

Your posts are made up stuff full of drama, which is exactly what you criticise.

Ok hun 👋🏻

Strong argument there, @iwonderland .

@Pastryapronsucks

Do you have your hobby weapons displayed on your walls??????

Your hobby isn't weird, nor is learning more about the weapons and how to use them. It sounds fun and social.

But just buying random weapons and sticking them on your walls as decoration????

I have known two men in my life who have had a bit of interest in this sort of thing.

Man 1: he was a professional soldier (last I heard he was still in and was looking like this was a lifetime thing for him). He was fully trained in various martial arts and genuinely had an interest in weapons etc. He was also very careful about how they were stored and kept and was known to make a bit point about weapons in untrained hands were the most dangerous thing he could think of. Fine. Long term, not a man I was interested in a long term relationship (it was fun while it lasted though )

Man 2: relative of DH's. Complete tosser who thinks he's a big man and has this hilarious idea that he could take anyone, anytime even though he's about 50kg overwight. He DID do martial arts as a young man but hasn't been near a dojo in 20 years. Plus he only did karate and never trained with weapons. He has actually dialled back a lot on this rhetoric as his mental health (and substance abuse) issues have got under control. Coincidence? I think not.

I couldn't be with anyone who has a preoccupation with weapons and violence.

Still going on......

Snap, we also have a heavy torch tucked under the base on DHs side of the bed just in case. Not odd or weird or red-flaggy at all IMO.

I didn’t meet him online but on a day/ night out although I’m not sure if that matters 🙄

Not read the entire thread, but just to say that some weapons are illegal in the UK even as show-pieces in a person's home.

Yeah that would be a turn off for me.

deepest apologies, I was under the impression you met this guy online and went to his “bunker”. If he’s some stranger you met on a pub I would still think going to his place is nuts, if he’s known in your social circle or “friend of a friend” that’s ‘more safe’.

My swords and bo are in my study. Not sure if that makes it worse though having a weapon room 🤔 😁

I work in enforcement and there is a bit of correlation with weirdos and chavs having cross bows and machetes etc on display.

Having interesting pieces and historical weapons and memorabilia is different, and more a matter of aesthetic taste. My weapons wouldn't suit my living room decor.

OP needs to listen to her spider senses to determine if this fellow is a nerd, enthusiast or weirdo.

@iwonderland Sorry, didn't realise you needed to have the last word.

Does everyone need to argue on these threads? 🤦🏼‍♀️🙄

I briefly dated a guy who keep a baseball bat under his bed “just in case someone breaks in while I’m sleeping”. He was deeply insecure, paranoid that everyone was “out to get him”, he was quite aggressive and had a restraining order by his ex.

Not that it matters, maybe the OP’s guy is a lovely man. He’s defo not the same guy as this one had no weapons on his wall, just a few abstract paintings 🤣

We have a baseball bat readily available should someone break in… I don’t think that’s weird. As do other family members (we don’t live in bad areas either)
the rest, I get the feeling he doesn’t know how to decorate. Single guy that hasn’t properly grown up yet maybe 🤷🏻‍♀️. If you stay with him, I’d bet he wouldn’t care in the slightest they were removed.

Always had a bat of some sort near my bed, as have everyone I've ever known. We don't live in a bad area but the thought of not being able to protect my family of anyone did break in terrifies me.

If you have a baseball bat “for protection” it’s an offensive weapon

Better off just playing baseball with it

I wouldn't find this weird. We had a new bed delivered the other day and my partner decided not to chuck out a metal bar from the old bed as he said it's a good intruder weapon lol. I remember my Dad also had something similar under the bed. As for the wall art ( ha ) I feel like this is just a typical man decorating his house with manly collectables he thinks are "cool'.

My DH had a baseball bat next to the bed when we started dating, that isn’t a red flag to me. The collection of weapons mounted on the walls would be though. That gives me massive creeps!

Burglary rate in this country is 4.3 per 1000 people (alarmingly high). The burglary rate in the United States is 2.7 per 1000 people (also high, but would be higher if gun ownership were illegal). It's really not all that unlikely you may one day be burgled.

It's perfectly rational to wish to protect yourself in your own home. Let's say you're in a relationship with a guy and somebody breaks in to the place. Would you prefer your man had a baseball bat to hand, or not?

Honestly, the ridiculous lengths to which people go to criticise members of the opposite sex is extraordinary. This applies to both men AND women. We have some of you basically saying this guy should be single until the end of time because he has a hobby and wants to feel safe in his own home.

Get a grip.

I think it's weird that violence and weapons appear to be his go-to.

I grew up in a rough area and live in another city that's also not got the best reputation, and my go-to is an outside camera system, a burglar alarm/security system, keeping the windows shut, and making sure I have my phone by my bed, not a baseball bat and assortment of other weaponry.

If someone wants to get into my house they have to bypass all that and two locked doors with extra security locks and bolts, and the second they do that or try to break a triple glazed window the piercing alarm will go off and the police will be called if it goes on for more than 2 minutes, so good luck to them.

All you need to do is make yourself more annoying to break into than your neighbours. I think it's less safe to actually have all that stuff because it can easily be used against you, you can be overpowered pretty easily, especially by multiple people.

Thank you all. I’ll give him a chance because he has been nothing but courteous so far and he didn’t waffle non stop about his collection. He did seem proud of one and talked about that one a bit and it was a historic piece (don’t ask me for details because it didn’t interest me much) that he had restored somehow. He did acknowledge that his place “might look a bit strange”. I think he’s just a bit of an eccentric history nerd.

I have nunchucks under mine...
I draw the line at decorative weapons, though.