Dear god....is he coming on to me?

[CharlotteBog]

I have some photos someone wants.
I said:

I can be bribed with a few thousand quid.

His reply:
What I'd want for a few thousand quid I sincerely hope and trust you wouldn't sell me.

He has flattered me in the past in general ways, but I have just taken it as him being open and friendly.

Do I ask him what the hell he means? Not reply. Ever.

I see him often at a sports club. He is nearly 20 years older than me and married. I am in my 50s. FFS.

I have to say that I do think being bribed with a few thousand quid is playful. Whether that crosses into flirtatious is difficult to say. But it very well could. He responded with something more playful. That probably was flirtatious.

I mean, I don't really think he's done wrong. He escalated what you started.

But at the end of the day, he's just made a bit of a risqué comment, he hasn't invited you to a hotel for the night.

"🤢 no photos for you after that comment John - not even for free"

Unfortunately , you've learnt that a lot of men,regardless of age, cross the line !

It's not your fault in anyway.

I'd imagine a lot of posters on here are the type to say

" but what was she wearing"

I think all this has taught OP is that clearly many people think the word bribe equates to a plethora of sexual services.

Just ask him what he means simple. Let him have to explain himself, joke or otherwise, rather than you wondering and being awkward about it. If he explains and you are ok with his answer, it's resolved. If not, you can plainly tell him you found it offensive. None of us know anything about your situation or your relationship with each other, to say he is right or wrong. If you are likely to be meeting socially, then just resolve it.

him: do you have some photos of the event
me: I do, but you can't see them

I think this was the start of it. Why say 'but you can't see them'?

I agree with others that your conversation was quite playful & jokey. It sort of implies a certain amount of intimacy with someone. It absolutely does not warrant his revolting response. But to be honest I avoid this sort of banter with men like this because frankly they don’t seem to need much encouragement to make it sexual.

I think his comment is flirty, as OP's was, but I don't think it means he actually wants to sleep with her or expects her to think it's anything more than a joke, anymore than he really thinks she wants £1000s for the photos

You 100% flirted with him and he just followed your lead.

Would you have said this to a female friend?

If you think someone fancies you then the worst thing you can do is flirt or be jokey.

You don’t have to ignore him now, just talk to him factually.

If he asked me if I had photos, I would have just said “sure, I’ll send them now” and sent them.

I'd just ignore it as if he hadn't said it. Easy as that really!

You set him up with a 'joke' and he made a stupid 'joke' back that wasn't funny but isn't worth agonising over

You totally started this and he was playing along.

OMG this thread! Im sorry you’re feeling upset OP. Don’t be. You just stumbled across a group of Mumsneters that don’t seem to be able to understand your post. I don’t think that you asked for it, or were flirting. You were just joking around about the photos. You saying you could be bribed was clearly referring to money and the photos. He was the one who changed it to a more creepy subject. Perhaps he didn’t understand either! Anyway it’s awkward Has anything been said since then.

Old guys are often flirty like this, I'm sure he's not actively pursuing anything with you.

Seriously, get over it.
He’s a guy in his 70’s who made a light hearted comment.
What i find amusing in general with many women, is that if it was someone who was appealing to them, the response would be quite different.

@CharlotteBog your line about being bribed was completely in context and not flirtatious at all.

The bloke on the other hand is a bit sleazy. I’d be thinking more carefully about how I chatted with him - and bringing his wife into conversation a lot more!

Do these men never grow up 🙄

This.

What I'd want for a few thousand quid I sincerely hope and trust you wouldn't sell me.

i was thinking ketamine

I'm cringing to death by the whole exchange gone wrong.

Just send the pics and pretend it never happened.

'Here you go- let me know if you plan to use them in the newsletter.'

I think he probably got the wrong end of the stick and thought you were being flirtatious and responded in kind. Unfortunately it came across as creepy and a bit offensive! That's the trouble with texting/messaging - how you think it sounds in your head doesn't always come across written down. I doubt he was being deliberately offensive. He obviously likes you thinks you're attractive. I wouldn't let it bother you, just be distantly polite from now on!

I don't really see anything wrong with his response if I'm being totally honest.
You joked you could be bribed for a few thousand, he basically came back and joked he'd want a lot more for that much.
I don't think he's being overly flirty, just joking with a bit of innuendo.
Seems harmless to me

It...was a quick joke. Made in passing.

Yuk

It's daft chat

Bloody hell, op joked that she could be bribed to show him the pictures of an event

It was quite obvious, he's just being a bloody perv