Dear god....is he coming on to me?

[CharlotteBog]

I have some photos someone wants.
I said:

I can be bribed with a few thousand quid.

His reply:
What I'd want for a few thousand quid I sincerely hope and trust you wouldn't sell me.

He has flattered me in the past in general ways, but I have just taken it as him being open and friendly.

Do I ask him what the hell he means? Not reply. Ever.

I see him often at a sports club. He is nearly 20 years older than me and married. I am in my 50s. FFS.

@CharlotteBog Sorry, but I can be bribed with a few thousand quid is a come-on inviting the reply you got.

Why does he want to see photos of you receiving an award?
That seems odd to me anyway.

Probably for the club newsletter (he's the editor).

But why does a bribe equate to something pervy?

OK - thanks for the honest feedback.

I'm shocked that so many of you think I started it, encouraged it, asked for it.

I will not reply to him at all, and will keep my distance when I see him.

I'm quite upset so will hide the thread.

I don't think there's any need to avoid him. It's a joke that will never be mentioned again.

So you were teasing him, like kids do, being playful ( you think) and its not gone the way you expected. You definitely started it. Maybe just say yes or no next time instead of messing people around. Doesn't sound very funny.

I also agree that your bribe... comment was flirty. Whether his comment is appropriate is another thing but it doesn't seem unsolicited

@CharlotteBog please dont be upset. People just cant understand the nuance of your story.

What else might OP be offering to do in exchange for a few thousand quid?

Edit for grammar correction.

I think in the context of the conversation he’s just trying to be jokey with you as you have been with him. If he’s not normally a creep I wouldn’t be distancing myself from him over this. I don’t think there’s anything serious proposed here.

Give him the photos! Thats the whole point

I agree. It’s a joke gone wrong.
He would have been put on the spot with the comment and has said something stupid back.
I think everyone has said/written things that they wish there was an undo button for. I would just forget about it I think.

Give the photos over that he wanted to see?

Yes, but not for a few thousand quid.

OP don't be upset, it just came across as a bit flirtatious. Just send them, if you don't, he'll keep referring to this conversation.

Sorry, OP but your reply to him comes across as rather coy and flirtatious.
Context and tone ARE important of course but if you said it the way you write it, on paper it sounds suggestive. (And a bit weird and yucky, TBF.)

Strange conversation. This is how I’d would have responded.

him: do you have any photos of the event?
you: yes I do!
him: can I see some?
you: of course, here is a link.

your response was flirty… why are you gatekeeping the pictures? All very strange and a bit flirty.

I agree. It’s a joke that’s misfired. OP meant it in one way but written words can be taken out of the context in which they were meant.

Just let it go and go back to normal conversation

How does joking equal flirting to PP?
If I made a joke to a friend about ‘I can give you that lift but you’d need to bribe me with ice cream first lol’ I’d be disgusted if they replied with ‘I wish there was enough ice cream to make you fuck me!’ Which is basically what happened here.

I just wouldn’t reply, OP. You shouldn’t have to smooth it over. He’s a creepy sod and should be made uncomfortable with your silence. If he wants it smoothed over he can apologise for crossing a line.

Are you alright? It always sucks when a bloke turns out to be gross.

[edited for typo]

Oh my god. Can people not read?!

I think it's a shame. A joke chat where a woman says "I have this, do you want to see it?" and teases by pretending it will be expensive - she could be teasing about anything. The sexual charge was not set by her. However, it's absolutely a straight line in HIS head to "ooh that sounds like teasing about paying to have sex with her". Any teasing is for him about offering the prospect of sex. There just isn't enough in his idea of her for him to imagine she is a whole person with loads of different potential motivations. Woman = sexual offer, sexual potential, object of sexual desire.

Because for so many men, the agency and utility of women is not something they think about except in terms of sex. It's dull and predictable.

OP I don't think he was trying it on, just giving you an unpleasant little window into his inner monologue. Some men never really see us as people.

It doesn't sound like flirting to me though. He's saying, in general, if he were to pay "a few thousand quid" for something, it would be for sex. But not with the OP because he hopes she isn't a prostitute.

It's a grim comment for sure. Misogynistic. Not flirty or a come-on.

The. Photos.

Jeez 😂

😂