So, I'll start off by saying I'm a light sleeper. Always have been. I remember laying awake for hours as a kid. I have trouble falling asleep. The slightest noise wakes me up and once I'm awake, I don't fall asleep again easily. And most mornings, no matter how tired I am, I'll be awake 30 minutes before my alarm goes off. I've learned to live with little sleep, especially since motherhood. Although motherhood has helped in a way, because I'm so tired now that I do actually fall asleep faster.
My husband will fall asleep in an instant, and not wake up unless something big happens. He sleeps well and deeply and will sometimes sleep through the alarm or needs to be waken up multiple times. I envy him. He also has some autistic traits, like empathy being difficult for him. Unless he experiences something himself, he will have trouble understanding how someone else feels. This is where I need help. I have tried to talk to him every way that I can about needing more uninterrupted sleep, but he keeps not taking it seriously.
Every night it's something.
I will say that I'm heading off to bed and ask if he'll come too. Because if he walks in an hour later, he will do something stupid like turn all the bedroom lights on, or drop something on the floor. He doesn't get that if I wake up, it will take me an hour to fall asleep again. He will say he's right behind me, but then get distracted and come to bed late, when I specifically asked him not to.
Or he will come to bed with me, but decide he wants to fiddle on his phone before going to sleep. And I just know that at some point he'll open an app with sound and wake me up when I've just fallen asleep. This is despite me asking him repeatedly to check whether his phone sound is off before going to bed. Or he'll open a can of soda in the middle of the night.
I just can't take it anymore. Every night I beg him to please let me sleep. To be careful not to drop anything, not to play videos with sound on. And every single night he ends up costing me at least an hour of sleep. He apologizes, but then he expects me to just turn around and go back to sleep. I can't. I'm running on 5-6 hours of sleep and I'm exhausted.
Why do I not go to bed earlier? If I go to bed too early, I just end up laying awake. I wish I could. I need to be really tired before I can fall asleep.
Why I don't use earplugs? I have a 2 year old and a 5 year old and I'm not comfortable not being able to hear them in case they wake up crying from a bad dream, or if they get sick.
We have a guest bedroom with a very comfy bed. I know I might have to resort to sleeping there if this doesn't get better. I've asked my husband to go sleep there if he comes to bed late, and he will do that when I specifically ask him to. But when we sleep apart for a few days he gets sad and says he misses me. And honestly I would really prefer to sleep next to my husband as well.
And please don't set the MN maffia on me to tell me I need to leave my husband. He's a good husband and father in most other areas. We all have our flaws. I'm asking for advice on how I can get through to him so I can sleep next to the man I love and still get more than 6 hours of sleep every night.