Anyone else trying not not to contact a guy part 2??

[YouAreAllMySymmetry]

Hey loves @namechangeforthis5 @Frith2013 and whoever else I can think of.

How we all doing?

I'm having a weird night; I've been drinking and guess what skill it reminded me I've developed: crying out of one eye. It means that people generally don't notice, in the car, or lying on the couch or in bed.

That's sad, isn't it.

How is everyone doing? I don’t think he will message me again now which doesn’t bother me but does all at the same time!

We've chatted a wee bit this week but it's all very above board and sensible, and that's ok. Maybe we can retain a wee bit of the friendship now that we've had our moment of madness then let it break.

Nothing for 6 weeks. Can't blame him as he's blocked on everything!

Have lost 5lbs. (Intentionally).

I confess I messaged him. It’s all very friendly though. That’s ok as long as it doesn’t stray into anything else. I think with the amount of time that’s passed it shouldn’t.

How does it feel @namechangeforthis5

Wonder if we're both fooling ourselves or if we've genuinely cut enough ties. Dunno.

It’s kind of fine. Feels like I’m strong enough to be friendly and leave it there. I don’t fancy him and he always liked me more
in that way. I know I sound big headed but it’s true. I wanted to be his friend. He’s a dick but I think we get on sometimes. I’m not going to let it be an EA again. Hopefully we are both strong enough (you and I) x

Yeah I kinda feel the same. We can come and go now. It's better.

Good. I’m hoping it can be the same with us

Can I join you ladies?

I knew my X long before we dated for a year. I missed his friendship after we split, so we kept in touch. We've had a few hook ups in the last 2 years since we split up. All at my instigation, as he never wants to put himself out there and get the knockback. We'd arranged another last week, but he cancelled rather bluntly and hasn't been in touch since. His cancelling reminded me of his behaviours when we were dating, his thoughtlessness, how uncaring he can be. It feels like I've finally got the closure on the relationship I've been seeking.

So I've decided I'm not going to contact him any more. If he messages, I'll politely reply, but I'm determined not to get in touch first. Nor get gooey about him again if he does message.

I just know it'll be hard at times!

I might have to resolve again! He has started saying he still thinks of me sexually! I’m a bloody idiot

Oh no @namechangeforthis5

Well, you have your answer. You can't be friends, it's simply not an option with him.

Why do I feel bad though ☹️

We’ve never met in five years so god knows why he does

Precisely because of that. He likes the fantasy without reality.

I don't know. Bad in what way?

That you contacted him?

That you don't reciprocate as strongly?

Both. He asked me if I did and I didn’t answer. I’m a coward. And yeah I feel bad I contacted him. You guys were all keeping me going and I’ve let you down. Especially Wookie

I think you’re right

You have not let anyone down, woman. This is hard shit, and sometimes we mess up.

Let's think about this; what made you contact him. Bored? Needed to feel a bit wanted? Genuinely missed him?

Do you know how many times I have heard women say this? It never works.

Thank you. It was all 3 being honest.

Ok. Well. You're human.

And you know now (and we both know from past experience) that it makes you feel worse, and solves nothing.

Doesn't mean it doesn't happen sometimes!

Head up; it's a different day today.

Very true. I wouldn’t say I feel worse as such just a bit meh about it like why did I do it. My DH and I are not talking at the minute so that probably contributed and now I feel bad for giving the other guy false hope! I’m just going to get on with my day and move on. Thank you ☺️

Ha, that's familiar, just feeling a bit meh about it.

It's a muddy of things; feeling a bit stupid, a bit dopamine-y, like you're moving backwards and forwards at the same time.

The not speaking to your husband thing sounds like the real driver to me; you needed something you're not getting right now at home. Just connection with someone you know admire you, is into you?

That resonates with me too unfortunately.

Yes! You totally get me and where it’s come from! Thank you ☺️ Also things are a bit meh at work as well
Are you doing ok?