24 hours of tinder… give up or keep going?

[Tinderella24]

First time on tinder and just wondering if what I’m seeing is normal after 24 hours on there. I must have gone through over 300 profiles… and I would say 1/3 of them are just not men I could/would fancy. Another 1/3 are men with missing/no teeth, sticking their middle fingers up at the camera (does that really attract some women🤷‍♀️) writing things in their bios like “no psychos”, “no drama” which I take to mean “if you ever disagree with me then you’re causing drama or you’re a psycho” some bios have actually got angry rants about women. Would they really go up to a woman in a bar in real life, stick 2 fingers up at her then rant about how women are this & that?

Then …out of the last 1/3, theres the men who are clearly gym obsessed with biceps bigger than their heads (not for me), the sporty ones where they are cycling, wind surfing and climbing mountains but you can’t actually see their face, some good looking ones but who are clearly just after sex or someone “non vanilla”. Then theres the teeny weeny tiny handful that I actually swiped right on …about 8 men I swiped right for, 4 matched but no messages yet and the other 4 are probably inundated with matches, not active or I’m just not their type. Sigh.

@SamW98 Just thank yourself your not called Bridget Smith based on dear @Tinderella24 logic you can get :-) BDSM hahaha. Lets not laugh Im intrigued to hear more about the fisherman shes looking for with his long bendy pole. She can be his catch of the day.

Ladies is there something sexy about a man lifting a fish out of the boot of the car?

Look at that imagine coming home to that. Nothing says you made it in life than a man with a big pole and a fish :-)

I was in Tinder for a couple of years in my late 30’s. It was bloody awful. I was on the dating thread on here and became friends with a woman who was my age. We used to WhatsApp daily and compare our experiences and it really made the whole thing more fun! We should have written a book 😂😂
I finally met my man in January 2022. He is fabulous and a rare find. He was widowed after a long, happy marriage. He had absolutely no interest in anything other than an honest relationship. It’s been a very slow burner but 2.5 years in and we are talking about buying a house next year.

It can happen but my good it’s a painful journey! Wear a hard hat and grow a thick skin!

@UpUpUpU aw that’s lovely, glad you met your one in the end. Did you end up meeting him on tinder or somewhere else? I’m going to check out that dating thread if I decide to carry on with this OLD rollercoaster! none of my friends are online, they are either not single or happily single… so I have no one to bounce off.

Ive never understood how someone can be happy single like I get some of the independence stuff is fun but really. When you want to go to a restaurant you are the one that you know everyone is thinking look at the poor man how tragic.

Maybe its a guy thing I'm quite a nerd so I like stuff like seeing a show / cinema / trying new food so some of that generally makes you stick out like a sore thumb. C'est la vie.

And you want to go on a trip ... Then you get the generous Single Supplement designed to make you very, very aware your alone.

Far more tragic being in a shitty relationship.

I was in an abusive marriage. All but ruined my life and I’m still dealing with the after effects three years on. Would take eating out alone over that any day.

I am so sorry I didn't mean to compare it as that. I just mean as a guy If I am working in London and I see plenty of confident women who seemingly are able to do their own thing. Where as me I find myself totally self conscious.

I was in a pretty rough relationship 10 years ago I totally understand how horrible it could be. I'm also a product of an abusive dad.

@TheSheepOnTheHill

Maybe its an age thing but I’ve been single 4 years now and I’ve loved it.

I absolutely live my own space my peace and quiet. The fact I finish work and don’t have to speak to anyone if I don’t want to.

It helps I’ve got a great social group of couples and single mates so I go out socially at least every other weekend, I’ve had loads of weekends away and go on holiday with friends a couple of times a year. Me and mate going to Greece next week.

Even if I met someone now, I would never any to cohabitate. I love my own company too much

@SamW98 Ahhh.

See I am not a big lad's lad so I wouldn't have friends where we would do a trip to Malaga or anything like that. We occasionally hang out but not like going on holiday they have their own families and kids.

I watch these guys who can do that but I just feel like I am a world apart I guess. I couldn't talk football / rugby I would much rather be talking about the latest changes in ChatGPT or some new info from the Webb Space telescope.

Being a bit of a recluse really don't help me much so I do have to do a lot of trips alone even to have one other person in another gender would be fine.

@SamW98 I wonder if we live in the same area, it's all men tramping around the countryside and kayaking round here as well. I once fell in the freezing sea in a kayak and I'm not keen for another go.

I did Kayak several years ago in Thailand that was amazing though it was in the middle of a thunderstorm so seeing lightening hitting the water while your in a boat was .... like a sitting duck 😆

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5064134-dating-thread-248-spring-is-on-its-way-and-so-are-outdoor-dates

This is the dating thread. I'm still on pause on the dating front, I shall review in a few weeks, once I've got some nice recent photos together, the last lot are from a couple of years ago and it's good to be honest (although so many are not!)

I guarantee that virtually nobody notices or cares. And if they do, that says more about them than it does you. What do you think people do when they’re travelling on business? You have to eat.

There was a nice-looking man alone at the local arthouse cinema the other week, if I'd been on my own I'd have chatted but I didn't feel I could just ditch my friends and throw myself at him.

I think you have to go some places alone to open up opportunities to chat, if you go everywhere in a group, it's harder to get out of that friend bubble IMO. Saying that, I'm doing really badly at it, see above!

I a lot of the time Uber is my friend and sometimes I bring my wee portable cutlery hahaha. I dunno maybe a long time ago I was confident but going to a random restaurant I always feel kind of like I am wasting a table when 2 people could be there. Often over tip because I feel that bad about it 😬

@WayOutOfLine I wouldn't feel confident to approach a woman like the way you might have been able to in reverse. I have ADHD so I would struggle to keep a small talk conversation going. Though if they came up to me and said what do you think of the recent solar flare - I would happily exchange my view haha.

@TheSheepOnTheHill now that's a chat-up line that'll sort the men from the boys...

Might take up fishing I hear theres women about hahaha. I'll leave my 'Copy of Platos Republic' just sitting casually by my wee box of worms.

@TheSheepOnTheHill I’m lucky that I do have some good friends and family to go away with and do things with. I also wouldnt go to the cinema or eat out alone but I envy those who feel comfortable to do it. Not sure if you’re a dog person but I would highly recommend getting a dog. Me and my dog can get out and go places when everyone else is busy and i absolutely don’t mind that, just me and him. It also gets you talking to people, I could walk down the street without him and no one would say hello but with the dog…so many people stop and talk to me!

Hello, I just want to say - keep going. Yes it can be tiresome, yes it can take a long time and yes there are strange experiences to deal with. BUT.

I dated on tinder from last year October and met someone in early December. I learned a LOT from the experience. Here is what I can remember -

You can match with people who never write.

You can match with people and three suddenly start writing and then you are writing to three strangers. I found that hard.

In the morning, one of them can be the clear front runner but by the evening that can have changed. Its very up and down.

Then in the morning, one, two or all three have unmatched you.

You can think one is great and obviously right, and then meet him and think, no. Same goes for him meeting you.

You can learn how to text reply slowly - not straight away - leave it for the whole afternoon or till the next day or till after your weekend away, or theirs, if they go silent. You don't know them so you have no right to think, where has he gone?

I only ever swiped on men I fancied. I don't care if they are into cars or hiking or motorbikes or whatever. What I cared about was whether I fancied him and thought he sounded nice from his profile, and I weeded out those who would not fit into my lifestyle and said no to them, and some did to me. Rightly so.

BUT out of the blue, you can then meet someone perfect. I never lost hope of meeting someone and I 'asked the universe' for my perfect man.

I had three writing, one who never suggested we meet, one where there wasn't any chemistry and then suddenly one who said we must meet soon, he thought I was really interesting - and that was 6 months ago and he is the best man ever. He comes from a nice family, he is solvent and together, he is kind and listens, he is manly and sexy, he is protective, there is no hint of other women ever, he adores me, he comes every weekend or I go to his place and we are now a couple. I deleted tinder when I met him and I am grateful to it, even tho I got my feelings bruised a few times. I am glad I stuck it out and was ruthless in what I wanted, so as not to waste time.

I say keep going. x and good luck and have fun!

I don't have pets at the moment I've been busy travelling around with work the last few years it wouldn't be fair on the wee thing but I got a role that means I don't need to travel it was starting to kill me and I'm only 36 😬so a pet is on the to do list. What type of doggo do you have?

Funny you should say that a friend of mine met peter dinklage when they were out walking their dog hahaha. I'm missing a trick here.🙂

@something2say That's a pretty good story you have there. And I hope @Tinderella24 does not give up so early what was the old expression.... You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince.

I think looks are important I think someone who is intelligent scores higher. The geek in me would rather someone who I can talk about the world with but who is also sharp enough to call me out that is an incredible feeling.

@TheSheepOnTheHill I’ve got a Labrador. Great company. Would highly recommend getting a dog if your home/work life accommodates it, you will get chatting to so many different people on walks, in the park etc.

@Tinderella24 Lab's are amazing dogs - Is yours a full breed or half? Along time ago my family used to rescue and re-home animals. I think my favorite is a German shepherd.

@Tinderella24 He was off Tinder. Snapped him straight up before anyone else got there!

His 2 kids are brilliant too. It is all very lovely ☺️