24 hours of tinder… give up or keep going?

[Tinderella24]

First time on tinder and just wondering if what I’m seeing is normal after 24 hours on there. I must have gone through over 300 profiles… and I would say 1/3 of them are just not men I could/would fancy. Another 1/3 are men with missing/no teeth, sticking their middle fingers up at the camera (does that really attract some women🤷‍♀️) writing things in their bios like “no psychos”, “no drama” which I take to mean “if you ever disagree with me then you’re causing drama or you’re a psycho” some bios have actually got angry rants about women. Would they really go up to a woman in a bar in real life, stick 2 fingers up at her then rant about how women are this & that?

Then …out of the last 1/3, theres the men who are clearly gym obsessed with biceps bigger than their heads (not for me), the sporty ones where they are cycling, wind surfing and climbing mountains but you can’t actually see their face, some good looking ones but who are clearly just after sex or someone “non vanilla”. Then theres the teeny weeny tiny handful that I actually swiped right on …about 8 men I swiped right for, 4 matched but no messages yet and the other 4 are probably inundated with matches, not active or I’m just not their type. Sigh.

I met my DP on Bumble 18 months ago. I go on profile far more than pictures. He is a total nerd with a love of dragons, computer games and lego. However his bookcase and mine are almost duplicate copies, we have played the same computer games and I quite enjoy a bit of lego also!! He isn't an Adonis but he is fit, healthy, solvent, loving, kind and caring. He would do anything for me and we have wonderful fun together.

However lots and lots of dross passed before my eyes before I saw a few profiles that were written in half decent English that didn't offend me. I think I threw away 100 men and messaged with 5. 1 sent a dick pic almost immediately so he went, 1 sent a message saying he was married and only after a bit of fun so he went. That left me 3 contenders. One could barely write in English so I dropped him. One I met and he smelled funny so I dropped him. The last one seemed nice so I went on date 2 and he moved in a few weeks back! 😍

OLD 😭😭😭

most men will just continuously swipe right - it’s a numbers game.

Then the ones that are just ‘ok’ most women are going for.

I changed my settings to look at the other side and it was full of young women with their boobs or bum out or even links to their only fans page.

I’ve met one guy I went in to date during the 2 years I was doing OLD - he was was lovely and I really did like him but he lived too far away for anything to really progress. The rest have been dreadful. I’m shocked at how fast the conversation can turn sexual - I think they do it to test your boundaries. I’m think a lot of women allow this

I came across a site on Facebook page called ‘are we dating the same guy’ and it’s FULL of the men I recognise off the apps with women discussing them - red flags, cheaters, catfishers, ghosted ect..

I would rather be a pissy old cat lady than go on those sites again. They have ruined dating

@Wigglytuff345 im thinking of doing the same. Come off the apps and be open to meeting someone decent in real life but won’t expect it.

It depends on age I think but the men I’ve met out in the wild are just as bad.

One knocked 10 years off his age before admitting it after he came up on my ‘people you might know’ on FB

One bombarded me with messages and calls over the first 24 hours after we exchanged numbers and when I told him it was suffocating he sent an essay telling me why I was wrong.

The next one turned into a sleazy sex pest within a few days and a glance at his FB shows all he posts is photos of scantily clad ‘models’ half his age.

@SamW98 out in the wild 🤣 I’ve seen a lot of men lie about their age whilst I’ve been online, no doubt to attract the younger women when we search but then put in bio “I’m 48 not 40, won’t let me change it”
If I knew it was this hard now a days I would have stayed with my ex ha!
I’ve seen one guy list absolutely everything he wants (demands) in a woman, rant about why every 2nd woman online is a nurse, and go on to say we are all gold diggers.

I want to crawl back into the nice little bubble I was in before trying online dating! 😭

I messaged back & forth with a guy - he seemed normal - quite an achievement for OLD.

Then he admitted he wasn't actually in his early 50's - he was 38 & preferred older women & was hoping I would be "open-minded".

It was a firm no from me.....

Going back to the original post.

You swpied right on about 2.5% of the 300 profiles. These guys will presumably get a lost of interest.

Maybe you're on the wrong site and would be better off on a site where the men can message you that are interested and you can say yah or nay

Lot not lost!

I went on Tinder not long after I was separated just to see what old was like after a 23yr relationship.

Was messaging two men a few mornings in. One got arsey because I refused to take a call from him then and there. The other one - a v handsome artistic type (solvent with own house too) a couple of years my junior with 2 decent photos asked to see me for coffee that weekend.

The first guy I think reported me out of spite and I got kicked off Tinder. So it was lucky that no 2 and I got on so well and are still together 3 years later …

It is a numbers game and you can get lucky on the first few rolls of the dice. But don’t compromise, don’t spend ages messaging, meet as many as you can for coffee with an open mind as a “pre-date”. Tinder isn’t just for f*ckbois. My fella was looking for a relationship.

@TheLastTimeEver - that's a lovely story!

I agree the nice ones who are looking for a relationship get snapped up quickly!

It’s interesting as I’ve anonymously signed up to a couple of other sites just to see if they are better and it’s mostly just the same faces. So most of these guys on tinder are also on all the other apps juggling everyone. @TheLastTimeEver nice to hear you are still together. 💗

What gets me is the horrific profile pics. Hairy nostrils pointing at you, fag in gob, can of beer in hand flicking the bird saying they want to meet a lady.
Then there are the ones who immediately start talking sex or who pretend to be normal but the minute they have your number a dick pick arrives.
Fortunately I have the strength to resist these paragons of men lol.

My most hideous experience was an attractive articulate guy with a good job in sales who on the second phone call started wanking - and it wasn’t even sex talk 🤢

The ones who act like they’re not like the dick pic brigade and send a photo in the bath with bubbles covering their bollocks - just waiting for you to send one back. No thanks mate.

And let’s be honest none of the sex talking actually sexy. It’s cliched cringey nonsense.

I don’t understand what is wrong with them. How is it that women manage to be normal? Yet all of the men I met OLD just behaved like animals.

@Southern68 the flicking the bird thing is sooo common! I just don’t get it?? And the camera down low facing up so you can count their nostril hair 🤦🏼‍♀️ I wonder if these men act like this in real life….do they walk into work, flicking the Vs, in dirty clothes, sticking their tongue out? 🤔

As an 80% man I feel the same pain as you, All these women chasing the 20% of men. Although knowing some 20% men I wouldn't want my life like that anyway.

I think there's just such a lack of self/awareness in the tongue-sticking, topless, "no-drama" ranting-about-women men.

Where's the insight that it's really putting women off?

Emotional intelligence of a gnat.

The laying in bed ones make me cringe as well. And extremely overweight man in 13 chins laying in bed wearing a grubby vest taking a selfie his phone about 6 inches away from his face - and these men message attractive women really thinking they’ve got a chance.

A lot of men have surprised me with how deluded they are. It’s not all about looks but at least make some effort! So many 2/10s making zero effort with a poor attitude but thinking they are gods gift…you’ve got to admire their confidence I guess! Matched with one who actually looked promising, I even received a first message from them….only for me to open it and read it and it was clearly meant for someone else 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️ xx

Form an orderly queue ladies

I know, how on earth do we manage to restrain ourselves.

A pic of a wrinkly nutsack and co** is supposed to completely win us over.
One guy asked for a pic of me in the shower, so I sent him one, of me fully dressed stood in an empty bath tub. Funnily enough he never got back to me.

@Tinderella24 the straggly nostril hair, stubbly double chin and sweaty moobs look, or clasping a slimey fish lovingly is obviously de rigeur nowadays.
No wonder so many of us stay single eh

Another fave… how does he have the time?!

Having been OLD on and off since last summer, it's really depressing.

However 24 hours is too short a timeframe to find someone decent lol

You have to sift through A LOT of frogs to get to your Prince. Hoping to find mine one day soon as I tend to match with a decent guy every now and again, and get chatting/go on a date.

Whereas in real life I never meet anyone, so OLD is my enforced go-to at present, as I would like to meet a nice man.

Here’s hoping all those wanting to meet someone does find their one 🤞 but in the meantime thank you for lifting my spirits a bit, at least we can laugh about it!