24 hours of tinder… give up or keep going?

[Tinderella24]

First time on tinder and just wondering if what I’m seeing is normal after 24 hours on there. I must have gone through over 300 profiles… and I would say 1/3 of them are just not men I could/would fancy. Another 1/3 are men with missing/no teeth, sticking their middle fingers up at the camera (does that really attract some women🤷‍♀️) writing things in their bios like “no psychos”, “no drama” which I take to mean “if you ever disagree with me then you’re causing drama or you’re a psycho” some bios have actually got angry rants about women. Would they really go up to a woman in a bar in real life, stick 2 fingers up at her then rant about how women are this & that?

Then …out of the last 1/3, theres the men who are clearly gym obsessed with biceps bigger than their heads (not for me), the sporty ones where they are cycling, wind surfing and climbing mountains but you can’t actually see their face, some good looking ones but who are clearly just after sex or someone “non vanilla”. Then theres the teeny weeny tiny handful that I actually swiped right on …about 8 men I swiped right for, 4 matched but no messages yet and the other 4 are probably inundated with matches, not active or I’m just not their type. Sigh.

24 hours is a short time but maybe look at traditional avenues to meet people.

This forum / Reddit / some hobby classes.

You just stumble upon people you will be ok but most of the people using Tinder just want the 3 F's

I've been with my utterly amazing partner for 2 years after 4 years' OLD. He's the kindest, cleverest, sexiest and most interesting man I've ever met.

I'd get off Tinder, total cesspit, as is POF and Bumble (marginally better but not by much).

Much better are Hinge and paid Match. Your numbers sound about right. Are you messaging them or waiting to be messaged? Just message them first if not doing so already. It really doesn't matter and alerts can be glitchy.

Top tip, go for 'nerds' so to speak. That is to say those with a specific passion other than football, other mainstream sport, drinking or the gym. The focus and willingness to diverge from the crowd can be a sign of a great partner.

As a nerd here I have to say thank you and YES!

I gave up, I don’t have the stamina for it. All my relationships have been more trouble than they were worth and I’ve reached a point where I have no interest in men and their bullshit, or sex. I can’t think of anything a man has ever added to my life, only things they’ve taken away. I don’t even miss affection anymore, I get plenty from my cat.

Like PP I’m just focusing on my career, my cat and getting enough money together to buy a little place in the countryside.

Received another message saying “let’s date but nothing serious xxx”. Clearly thinks he’s gods gift and that I will JUMP at the chance of dating him. My profile clearly states looking for a relationship 🤦🏼‍♀️ I must have accidentally swiped on him anyway as he’s a 3/10 at best!! Oh my days. Another profile I’ve seen rants how his ex was a psycho who controlled him and he won’t be tied down again. I would put £100 on his ex not being a psycho. 🤔

If I were going to go OLD again, I'd use the burn the haystack method, which is basically blocking anyone you're not interested in. I think it makes the most sense.

I find that last bit harsh - I do exercise / gym but have a dad bod, love football and going to the pub but would consider myself a decent guy, cooks a lot, nice house (very clean), good job, good kids, quite outdoorsy too, like city breaks, can have a good conversation and very romantic. Ok, my dad jokes are naff, but lots of us football and beer drinking guys are actually decent!

I actually found Bumble and Hinge to be best, POF and tinder horrible! Match was a waste of time too

@bibop that’s not a bad idea. I’ve seen my ex on there and blocked him straight away 😬

It's something about seeing higher quality matches if you go round blocking most people. Let's face it, the majority are idiots and deserve to be blocked 😂

@Dadjoke007 football, dad jokes & pub guys are fine, the main thing I’m seeing is really poor attitudes, absolutely zero manners, and a lot of mysogyny. 😭

Every time I think about rejoining the apps, I read a thread on Mumsnet and go off the idea again! Very entertaining thread though!

@WayOutOfLine please go back on, I need an OLD friend ha.

There is a long-running thread in Relationships about online dating somewhere that might be fun.

I'm just getting flashbacks to the fish and the bare chests, I don't know if I have the courage to go back in.

@WayOutOfLine I will check that other thread out. What age range would you be looking at? I’m searching from 39-50! Ideally someone 40-45. Maybe we should take up fishing, we will meet loads of men there 🤣🐟

I'm a bit older than you, I think, I'm in my early/midfifties, so happy to meet people up to 60, or younger, I found it hard to meet people last time out who were my own age, a lot were younger or quite a bit older. Perhaps all the 50-55 year olds are married and not divorced yet!

It seems to be different apps for different people. Hinge is tumbleweed for me. I’ve only ever had one match on there in a year. In my area it’s full of kayaking mountain climbing cyclists who spend every Sunday on a brisk walk followed by a.roast dinner in the pub. Not for me thank you

Match is hideous for the over 50’s - the men on there were the absolute dregs. Far too many flabby pasty faced fish botherers in hi-viz vests giving off Norman Bates vibes.

Though I’m quite partial to a football lover who is very social and enjoys a trip to the pub with a few festivals thrown in. Though they also need to be able to communicate in whole sentences and don’t think ‘lol’ is a response to a question.

For me Bumble been by far the best of the apps

Im absolutely laughing about this one. Its not the first time I've accidentally sent the wrong email to my boss ranting about him. Those are fun moments.

Nah the fishing men - You will be one of those women who gets a thrill when he brings home a new rod... Do you want to be excited over a rod!

I had one call me the wrong name and blame predictive text - I’m not sure what dictionary this phone uses to change Sam to Monica but oh well 🤣🤣

Ok here we go hahahaha.

Sam
Monica

San
Monica

Santa Monica :-) - That's how I would have played it

Sorry! No offence meant, you sound fab and I do appreciate a good dad joke (or a terrible one!). I met some great blokes with similar interests to you. I just personally found it was the passionate random interest part that seemed to bode well and correlated with my 'near misses' and DP. Your approach to life and dating sounds lovely too!

@WayOutOfLine ah yes. I’m late 30s. We can still be OLD friends though? Ha. I find the same about my age range, a lot of people still in their first long term relationships with kids. @SamW98 I don’t think hinge is really a thing where I am, only heard about that one from being on here. So that’s probably not one for me either. @TheSheepOnTheHill I know, his message was actually really nice … it just wasn’t meant for me haha. **violins start playing

🤣🤣

@Tinderella24 sounds like you need one of these :-)

Haha, well they do both have m & a in them so I see his point 🤣