Sick with nerves about first date tomorrow ..

[doodledandies]

Anxious all day long today.
Would prefer to cancel but I do like what I see and hear so far . It's raining. We're meeting in the morning for breakfast.
What do I even wear ?
I can't cancel now as he's travelling to meet .Help !?

If you said there was no connection at his end and he then he replied with the palm face emojis I would interpret that as he feels like he has played this badly. It sounds like he did like you. However it may be that he is not very confident.

Yeah, this. He clearly likes you and is disappointed how it played out.

That is a possibility. He did play it badly. Slowly and unenthusiastic. No response though. I think he did like me but in his own weird slow way. No good to me .

Can I suggest kindly that next time you go out on a date you just be a bit more..... normal?
Don't get so stressed. Don't analyse or get so intense in your messages and overthink whether he likes you or not. Just let things happen. You don't need to force things. You can end up ruining things unnecessarily

Thanks. Yes I appreciate that I messed things up but I made the efforts and he simply didn't feel the same

I think it's water under the bridge now... next time you have a date don't try to analyze things so much! Good for you for getting back into the dating game.

Definitely overthink and over analyse . If I had felt mutual interest and effort, I know I would t have been such a basket case

That's making far too much of a first meeting. Just get to know each other as friends, if you like each other, and then see if anything develops naturally.

Yes. I've had some
Great lessons here thanks

What did this emoji mean though please?
In your own opinion ?

Seriously OP stop trying to look too deeply into it and move on.

I would question if you’re ready to date yet if you are so obsessive and over analytical over someone you’ve met once. You’ll drive yourself mad if this how you respond after one date.

Its done, you won’t be seeing him again - let it go

OP to me that reads like 'tell me you're interested'.
I would have preferred directness myself (but then I'm not a man).

I'd rather a man ask me straight out, 'do you want to meet up again?' rather than 'oh well I guess you're not interested in me (sigh) I wish you well then goodbye"

It comes across as really needy....and that you can't just say what you mean because you're lacking confidence....It comes across as less needy to just confidently ask.

To be fair it sounds like he also isn't great at being direct himself so hopefully it will be easier to suss out the next man you date!

To me he’s probably a bit all over the place with what you want. I do think he likes you and I think he’s just a bit unsure and unconfident in himself so takes things slow. You may have scared him but overanalysing the first date and now your message wishing him well has confused him.

Personally I would stop now and move on from this but if you really want to know what he means then the only person who’s going to tell you is him.

The emoji means: "Duh. No shit, sherlock." In other words, he's expressing that you've said something that was completely obvious to him. It's rude, and unnecessary. And shows his character in a bad light.

But OP, why did you text him? You need to have more self-respect and boundaries if you want to date online, because men like this are everywhere.

If a man likes you, you won't be confused. If he wanted to see you, he would ask you on another date. If he thinks he messed up, he'd apologise and make amends.

It's really that simple. Stop listening to women on here who are telling you 'he likes you, he's just shy, he messed up' or whatever. That's the equivalent of saying 'he punched you because he likes you' to a little girl.

It's nonsense. He's just not interested.

Move on and stop thinking about this loser.

@taylorswift1989 I text him to close this off .. for me. We've been chatting for weeks , met once and I've had a tonne of mixed signals from him. I left the whole thing feeling confused and frustrated and now I feel annoyed that if that emoji does have that meaning, that he was a complete time wasting prick.
For example after the date , while he didn't ask me on another he was highly complimentary about me in many ways, alluded to meeting again , flirtatious etc.
All behaviour that I would associate with someone being interested .
I was left unsure, if that makes sense.
Now I'm just pissed off with myself but I've learned so much in this thread and really appreciate it.
I'm disappointed and annoyed also.

@taylorswift1989 when you said that men like this are everywhere, that has really deflated me. I'm new to all of this . Is this what's on offer? Time wasting, lying , dickheads.
And thanks for your response, also.
I appreciate all of them.

I agree with this. To me it sounds really obvious that you liked each other but you were both unsure. Then you started analysing things and he said the date went well as you didn't stop talking all night.. Then he mentioned you didn't kiss. You started questioning whether there was any chemistry. I think he felt this was you saying you weren't interested and he starts to back off. I'm not surprised he didn't suggest another date after that. Then you wish him well which is definitely a "This is over" message.
I really do believe that if you hadn't started analysing the date and telling him there was no chemistry then it would have progressed to another date. He seemed very keen until that point but then got strange messages from you and backed away.
I don't even understand why you went on about chemistry as you told us you were very attracted to him!
Next time OP just say "I enjoyed the date. Let me know if you'd like to do it again". Job done! Nothing more needs to be said.
As for a OP saying that emoji means "Duh, no shit Sherlock". I disagree. I've never used it in that context and nor has anyone I know.

To me this emoji means he's embarrassed or something like "Oh no!"

I agree with @taylorswift1989 in that the emoji is a no shit Sherlock. Regardless of what some on MN say, a bloke will leave you in doubt about whether he wants to see you again and you won’t need to follow it up with an analysis of the date or a ‘when shall we do this again’ message.

Just be prepared for the next time - if you’re chatting online then don’t place too much emphasis on the content of the messages, get too invested, or leave it too long before you meet. When do you meet, think of it just as a meet up rather than a date. Keep things simple - no long distances, no recently separated, no DC with a complicated custody battle with their mum, no female best friend that might/might not be, that type of thing.

OP there are loads of men who do all sorts of confusing stuff. Don't worry so much about what they think, worry about what you think of them. So if you like them, after the date just say "I enjoyed that would you like to do it again?" And then organise it.
If they faff you about, just drop them. You'll need to do this a lot of times but one day, someone will come along and you won't have to second guess at all , as it will be smooth sailing..
Consider the guys until then all practice. Or what helps me is to think of them as colleagues you end up on a course with. Don't over invest too soon. I personally like an ending message once I've decided to let that one go, as my brain works that way and it feels more empowering to me that I've made the decision, but others find just leaving it better. You'll find your own way but I'd get your brain ready for doing this a lot of times before you find a gem

Thanks 😊

OP you have to get ruthless about sorting through the idiots to find the good ones, that's all.

If you go on a date and a guy wants to see you again, he'll ask you on another date. YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO GUESS.

If he doesn't ask you out again, but keeps texting, it means he's keeping you in reserve in case he gets desperate, or thinks he can get you to have sex with him.

You have got to be hard headed about it. Men may be crap communicators sometimes, but all this, 'oh he likes you really, he's just confused, insecure, doesn't know how to say it, thinks you don't like him' stuff is utter bollocks.

Men put you into a category when they meet you:

1. Likes you, wants to date you, sees a future
2. Would have sex with you but nothing else
3. Not interested

You have to assume that any doubt over a man's feelings means you are in category 2 or 3. If you're in category 1, YOU WILL KNOW.

It's honestly simple. Stop trying to mind read and you'll get on much better.

I feel like such a idiot now. I need to screen shot these replies and put them as wallpaper on my phone

The emoji he used is 'face palm' and it can mean a person is embarrassed at their own behaviour or it can mean they're embarrassed at someone else's behaviour. Either way it was rude of him to just reply like that!

As the others have said, sounds like you got stuck in an overthinking loop and now you're punishing yourself. You honestly don't need to! You're a human being who (like the rest of us) sometimes overthinks and gets stuff wrong. Be nice to yourself OP. 😊

Unfortunately yes there are a lot of time wasting lying cheating dickheads on OLD and so you quite quickly develop a BS detector and a thick skin.

When I started OLD after not being single for 30 years I was very naive and far too polite to rude entitled fuck wits.

You do learn OP honestly. And yes there’s some nice men out there but I’ll be honest you need to wade through a sea of trash to find them. Learn to trust your instincts, delete and move on if it’s not exactly what you want.

And don’t over analyse. If it’s not right, let it go don’t chase for answers