Sick with nerves about first date tomorrow ..

[doodledandies]

Anxious all day long today.
Would prefer to cancel but I do like what I see and hear so far . It's raining. We're meeting in the morning for breakfast.
What do I even wear ?
I can't cancel now as he's travelling to meet .Help !?

There is no need to "block and delete", but don't contact him again and don't respond if he contacts you. There is no future in this OP, it's time to move on to your next round of dates.

Why don't you just say you're sorry if the questions were too much, it was first date nerves and you understand if it's too much but you would like to see him again?

Even if we're wrong and that's not the issue I think it's worth a shot just in case

You didn't ruin anything. If he liked you, that conversation wouldn't put him off. If he'd liked you, he would have arranged a second date on the first one.

Don't message him again. Just let it go and move on to someone else.

Don't give yourself such a hard time, OP!

Go by actions, not texts:
he asks you out again ✅
he just texts on without making future plans ❌

I don't wholly agree with this woman's approach, but I think it may be a useful perspective (this isn't your exact situation but you get the idea):

www.instagram.com/reel/C7CpntzNAG5/?igsh=MWptaWh2c21lODlheQ==

Just one day of no contact? But otherwise he has been positive and said you got on well? I would think nothing of one day of no contact. He could be busy, he could be trying not to come on too heavy. You said that he wanted to take it at a snails pace. I think just chill and see if he messages again. I wouldn't think I'd done anything wrong, and wouldn't dream of blocking, it could still turn out great?

We've exchanged another message . His response was a bland, non interested text so I'm happy to say goodbye and good luck.
How do I phrase this , kindly ?

@doodledandies You’re sounding a bit desperate for contact, of any sort.

There’s no need to do anything. Just Let It Die.

Move on.

OP, leave it now and let it fizzle out. No need to keep texting. Tell yourself it wasn't meant to be, he lived a long way from you and long distance relationships are not easy at the best of times. Chalk it up to experience, OLD is tough and unless you are very lucky you will have to trawl through a lot of guys before you find someone who is right for you.

Say nothing. There's no need. He's not interested, you're not interested. Just move on.

Yep leave it now, or if you are like me and need to put a line under it, I normally put something like "thanks for the date, I'm sensing there's not a connection so I'll wish you well, good luck!
I've only ever had positive responses from this like "you too! " and it does put an end to the messages with no awkwardness

Agree with the others - no need to say anything. Just leave it, he’s telling you he doesn’t want to pursue anything romantic, so time to quietly move on.

Agree with the others, if the last message wasn’t interesting or leading onto a conversation then I’d just leave it. Don’t message him again, there isn’t really a need for a goodbye and good luck sort of text.

I think maybe you’re treating this as ‘a relationship’ - but it really wasn’t.

Think of it more as picking up an unfamiliar packet of biscuits in the supermarket; reading the ingredients and deciding they’re not to your taste. You just put them back on the shelf. You haven’t bought - so you don’t need to go through any returns process.

Agree with everyone else. Let it go now and move on. You’re flogging a dead horse.

Dating after a long relationship is a learning curve. Each date you learn a bit more about what works for you and what doesn’t.

Personally I’d say keep it closer to home and go for a simple coffee date going forward. Much less pressure and expectations.

And the follow up text should be light and breezy not analytical. A simple ‘thank you for a lovely date I’d like to do it again’ or a ‘thank you but I didn’t feel a spark good luck’ type message.

And don’t chase - if you don’t get a positive reply, move on.

Exactly. Don't overinvest too early, OP. This was one date. You will exhaust yourself if you get this mentally involved in every first date you have. The majority will not go anywhere, or not beyond a few dates, one or both of you will decide there's not enough there to go on with -- they're just experiments.

Love the biscuits analogy ! That is so true

So I text him to close it off for myself because that's the way I am. Said I felt there was no connection and wished him well. I got this response..

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

I've no idea what that even means so just left it . And that's that since yesterday .

What does that mean?
At best it's downright rude ...

It's almost as of that message was ment for someone else? As if he'd screen shot your closure message?

No. It was meant for me .
What does that emoji mean ?

i would interpret it as exasperated. But I’m not sure why he would react like that to a perfectly normal “thanks but no thanks” message.

I'm not sure either . I expected a ' you too! Best wishes '
Makes no sense to me but I've deleted him now so I'll never know .
And why would he feel exasperated in fairness ??

Oh sorry Op I completely read your message wrong!
Please ignore my post, it makes no sense!

Hope you're ok ❤️

Sorry I don't quite understand OP. Did you really feel that there was no connection?
I think you've self sabotaged this to be honest. He sounds perfectly fine.

No... he went cold and I was always the one to initiate conversation. He didn't ask for a second date and when I didn't text first like I normally did , I didn't hear from him. He didn't feel it . I did and he knew it .

I should have said that when I text , I said that I sensed that there was no connection at his end...