Married for two years and I never climax - feeling disappointed - he comes after a few seconds

[Sumspring]

I am 33. I have been married to my husband for two years. We didn't start sleeping with each other till we were engaged.

I have only climaxed about twice - both times were about two years ago.

He only enters me for a few seconds before he comes. I have posted about this issue before, and people pointed out that this isn't normal (saying it's premature ejaculation) and that I should try and address it. I have brought it up, gently, a few times. He says he'll try and stay in me for longer, but nothing has really changed.

I also asked him to touch me more. He does do that more, but he never touches me 'down there'. Is this odd? (I am always clean and have a lot of showers).

For the premature ejaculation, it's a difficult line to tread because I want to address it, but also don't want to make him anxious about it, which could make it worse.

I come from a Christian background and it has been instilled in me from a young age to 'wait till marriage' before having sex. (I did do sexual things with previous boyfriends, but always held off from full sex).

Now that I'm married, I feel disappointed and bitter about the situation. I also feel like our sex life is not normal. And I don't really enjoy it much.

I try and tell myself it's not a big deal, and maybe I can live with not enjoying sex that much, and never climaxing. Because people do and are happy? It's not everything? But I can't stop myself feeling rubbish about it.

Is this understandable? I'd also be grateful for any advice on how to address premature ejaculation.

@Sumspring have you ever climaxed on your own?

I think you should perhaps start there; understand what you like / what gets you to orgasm and then you can tell him / show him more explicitly.

I think this is one of those things where you need to “use your words”. You can be gentle but still very clear and direct. He should want to please you.

I am a Christian and also waited to have sex. Was also disappointed and dissatisfied and then had to work hard on educating myself and gearing up to speak to my partner, so I do understand it can be awkward.

I can, however, tell you that if you don't address this the resentment will build.

Good luck.

Old thread.

This is grim.

why have sex at all?

He needs a wanks before sex and to read and learn about fireplay.

dies he not even care about your lack of satisfaction?

I don’t see this as a salvageable relationship

It’s not his job to make you orgasm or vice versa. Clearly great if you do and needs to be mutually pleasurable of course but what I mean is do you ever regularly enjoy your body on your own too. If not you should. Hard for him to please you if you don’t know really what you like and can’t also reach climax alone. How to orgasm as a woman can take a bit of skill at first but then you’ll be in a position (no pun intended) in throes to say touch me here, like this. That feels so good etc.

I agree you need to know how to pleasure yourself to guide him.
Is there any chemistry between you?
What are your sex drives like.
Remember you are not a recepticle for a man!

Please, no horrible negative comments, just some words of advice please...
I've been seeing a man for 6 weeks now. A huge amount of chemistry and attraction and he's really nice, attentive in conversations and considerate, an all round seemingly good guy and we have lots of laughs.
We've had sex twice. The sex itself was incredible, he made an effort to stimulate me with his penis. Kissing is out of this world and we have long gazes of eye contact between kisses, having sex. It's all very passionate and enjoyable.
I never thought I'd be on here discussing this issue I have though as most of my past partners have always been happy to help me orgasm.
The first time he climaxed during sex. We had a lot of foreplay first, I was really turned on before penetration and during, he didn't just think of his pleasure. Afterwards he turned onto his back and chatted. I then made myself climax.
The next time we got intimate I told him what I liked last time and made all the right noises when he did amazing things to me, like caressing my bum, playing with me down there and giving me oral. I told him I loved him touching me. He's said lots since we got together how he loves all my noises and it turns him on more. So after sex this time, the same thing happened. He lay on his back, so I said 'would you play with me for a bit?' and he said YES seemingly very keenly. He started that and it was amazing and he seemed to get turned on again. BUT then he just stopped after a minute or two. Making me take over.
Like I said, most people I've been with have brought me to orgasm afterwards.
I don't know what to make of this... do I persevere and next time tell him I need more or am I concentrating too much on having an orgasm? I can easily do it myself but would prefer him to.
I know it's not his job to make me orgasm but normally, in my experience, men are realky happy to. Am I expecting too much for just having sex twice?
Please be kind, and offer a positive opinion please, thank you.

If you don't want 20 more years of shit sex and a miserable life, it's time to go.

Many men are selfish lovers and mysoginists. Many are also gay and hiding it even from themselves.

If he doesn't want to get you off then probability is, it's one of those things.

He's a grown man and not embarrassed.

If you insist on trying for longer, make it clear he needs to be able to get you off in future with just his hands before you have any more penetrative sex.

You're not a wank sock. How many times has he came in comparisons to your twice?

No to sex until he has learned how to get you off. And if he doesn't continue the effort in future, time to call it a day.

Sex is an act for mutual pleasure.
You need to have a serious chat with him and make it very clear he needs to shape up or ship out.

I posted on here in error, tried to delete it. I made my own instead!