DH did something at the weekend, I’m really repulsed by it and him.

[beentheretoo]

And I don’t know if I want to move forward it’s like it’s the final nail in the coffin for us a a couple. He stayed up late and had far too much to drink something that doesn’t happen every weekend but happens maybe once every few months. The next day he was still pretty out of it and drunk so I just stayed out his way. Later on our adult DD came and told me that he had been lying on the sofa man-spreading and was exposing everything. She was too embarrassed to say anything but she says it’s not the first time she see something but this time it was everything. I got the roof because I still have underage teenage DC in the house. I confronted him and he was apologetic said it’s because he wears baggy shorts but there’s no excuse it’s disgusting. He said he’d throw them out and it won’t happen again.

Due to this and a lot of things I just can’t look at him now, I don’t know if he knows as he’s taken himself off to the sofa for the second night in a row. I’m actually so relieved.

Is he your DD's and your underage teens dad?

Yes he is. I do believe it was accidental 100% knowing that he does wear baggy shorts just that he was still so out of it he didn’t realise things were on show. Therein lies the problem.

He was sprawled on the sofa with his dick/balls hanging out of clothing?

It doesn't seem much of a crime if it's an accidental exposure.

Neither of my teens would be embarrassed. Boy/girl. They would just say OMG dad, you're such a weirdo, I don't want to see your rank parts! Or similar. And then he would cover them up. No issue.

Different if he isn't their dad, OP.

I mean….yes it’s gross and no child wants to see their parents private parts full stop. It sounds like there’s more going on here though beyond this unless you have some underlying suspicions related to him accidentally/deliberately exposing himself?

I come from a naked family so this wouldn’t bother me. My dad’s nut fell out of his boxers one afternoon playing swing ball (lol!) and we just laughed at him.

he was apologetic said it’s because he wears baggy shorts

Er no, it's because he was as drunk as a skunk.

A dad's nut accidentally being exposed during swingball is quite funny. A dad lying sprawled drunk not realising he's exposing himself is what's disgusting.

Hmm... I think an accidental glimpse of knackers due to baggy clothing/activity etc is a different to everything being on show because someone is drunkenly passed out/ not in control.

This happened when my kids were small. I got up ten mins after I heard them messing about in the living room to realise my ex had conked out on the floor with his cock and balls in his hand and my kids were playing around him oblivious. I was disgusted, took me too long to leave. He's not really changed 10 yrs later. Pigs🤬

That’s it exactly, it wasn’t an accidental whoops the towel dropped at the swimming pool it happened as he was drunk and oblivious that’s the problem. He’s a binge drinker who doesn’t know when to stop! If he buys 10 beers he will drink all 10 or as close to until he passes out, he can’t have 2-3 then go to bed. As a result he was out of the game most of Sunday.

I don’t think there’s anything from a sexual point of view with him exposing himself more like I say he was so drunk he was oblivious.

Sorry but this is vile. He needs help with the drink issue. If he has any respect for you and the kids he will sort himself out.

He’s a binge drinker.
That is the problem. You can’t control his drinking. Only your response. I’d be sorting a divorce ASAP.

Can people stop overreacting? What is the huge issue? They are just testicles? I don’t see what is disgusting about it.
if you are turned off by the binge drinking then that’s one thing but calling him “vile” & “disgusting” because his testicles were on show is wild. Why are you raising your children to be uncomfortable with nudity? we all have genitals.

So she's not cool enough for you, @friendshipover24 ?

Maybe you don't understand that the child who saw this has reached the end of her rope with her drunkard father, and wants her mother to do something about the life she has to lead.

Again... it's the why the testicles were on show that's disgusting.

Piggish disgusting unacceptable. Imagine you got so munted you flashed your vulva at your son while passed out hammered. They'd be telling you to get into AA not defending your right to be filthy drunken pig.

I wouldn't worry about the nudity aspect personally although I appreciate different families/individuals have different levels of comfort with it, and I agree if your finds it upsetting or disgusting it's bad.

I think the problem is that this man semi-regularly is drinking to the point in passes out on the sofa and doesn't know what he is doing.

As a former problematic drinker myself (hands up - now sober) I agree that's bad news.

OP, up to you if you want to stay and help him tackle it, or go. There is no one size fits all answer - it depends on how you feel about him, and his own attitude towards it of course. No judgement here from me either way, and I hope nor from anyone, as none of us have to walk in your shoes.

Good luck.

And your daughter ABSOLUTELY has the right not to see her father's dick and balls. Can't be argued otherwise.

Does he accept he has a problem with alcohol? That pattern of drinking is not normal. I get the impression that there are others issues and this might be the straw that breaks the camel's back though.

I think you are focusing on the wrong ahem 'parts'. The real issue is his drinking til he passes out. That's the bit you should be focused on. Unless the accidental exposure happens when he's stone cold sober I think it's time for a conversation about his issues with drinks.

People that think this is ok have very low standards.
I couldn't live like this.
He's grim.

That. This isn't about whether you let your kids see you naked when you leave the shower. I'm stunned that people can't see the difference

To those who are saying it wouldn’t bother them, that is beside the point. It did bother his DD. This girl/young woman was bothered by seeing her father in this state and exposed.

I think the focus on the baggy shorts/exposing his parts is not the issue IMHO. Anyone can expose something if they are not aware. He could have been asleep on the sofa and accidentally exposed himself. He wasn't doing it deliberately.

The bigger issue is that you say its the last straw and that he does regularly get this drunk. You need to explore the underlying problems here. Does he have a drink problem?. What is your relationship like?

It isn’t the dick and balls as you say OP it is the persistent pattern of drinking behaviour that lead to the exposed dick and balls.

Your disgust is there for a reason. Use it OP. Your kids are old enough leave him to his drinking elsewhere.