DH did something at the weekend, I’m really repulsed by it and him.

[beentheretoo]

And I don’t know if I want to move forward it’s like it’s the final nail in the coffin for us a a couple. He stayed up late and had far too much to drink something that doesn’t happen every weekend but happens maybe once every few months. The next day he was still pretty out of it and drunk so I just stayed out his way. Later on our adult DD came and told me that he had been lying on the sofa man-spreading and was exposing everything. She was too embarrassed to say anything but she says it’s not the first time she see something but this time it was everything. I got the roof because I still have underage teenage DC in the house. I confronted him and he was apologetic said it’s because he wears baggy shorts but there’s no excuse it’s disgusting. He said he’d throw them out and it won’t happen again.

Due to this and a lot of things I just can’t look at him now, I don’t know if he knows as he’s taken himself off to the sofa for the second night in a row. I’m actually so relieved.

She KNOWS that the disgusting thing is his drinking problem folks! Read the OP's posts, she is making the same point as you are!

Complete over reaction on your part.
You must be extremely hard to live with.

My husband did this once completely sober. He wears boxers and shorts. Was out with friends hobby related, sitting down, a friend told him quietly that everything was on show. He was careful after that.

Except the 'child' was an adult

Yeah I’m not with you op. I understand it’s poor form he was drunk and she could see up his short legs as they were baggy, but I am really not sure it’s as repulsive and heinous as you’re making out. Clearly there was nothing sexual here he was just drunk and fell asleep on the sofa.

She’s a grown adult. What are you on about. And no one thinks it’s ok, but he only gets drunk a handful of times a year, it’s not even once a month, he fell asleep on the sofa and it was accidental.

Is this normal in some people's houses? If so I'm glad you weren't my parents!

It's fucking grim.

OP - you don’t need to justify why reached an end in your relationships with your H. Things accumulate over the years and resentments build. Feelings change and one day you wake up done.
That is all understandable.

However - the shorts ‘incident’ isn’t really some huge deal. I think - it seem so to you because you have reached your limit.

Your adult daughter seems strangely unable to voice her boundaries and it’s a bigger worry. If she cant nudge her father and tell him to put it away - how would she manage to stand up for herself in real life situations outside of the house???
As to your teenager - i do not think they’ll be mortified by an accidental glimpse of their father’s anatomy.

I completely agree with you and I think the OP and others are over reacting. The OP said that her husband gets drunk every few MONTHS - it's not as if it's happening weekly. It's not ideal for him to fall asleep on the sofa with his bits falling out of his shorts but it's hardly tie end of the world or as outrageous as some people are making out. Surely most people caught a glimpse of their parents' genitals at some point when they were living at home?

Ignore the posters who say you're overreacting or seem to think this is about some sort of prudery. They've obviously missed what's right there in your first sentence, that this is the final nail in the coffin of your relationship.

Behaving this way with no self-respect and self-control, and no respect for the other occupants of the house would disgust most people I'd have thought. I can't imagine my DH behaving like this once, let alone repeatedly.

He wasn't exposing himself deliberately or trying to be sexually provocative but he is an absolute low life to drink until he was incapacitated.

Drinking to excess is utterly repulsive.

This. I'm shocked that so many are happy at the idea of children seeing their parents' genitals.

I've never seen my dad's and never will. My DC's have never seen their fathers'.

And the pp saying 'but the child was an adult' - does that make it OK? She wasn't OK with it, so who are you to say she should be?
And in any event, it could have been the minor child who walked in.

As the Op has said, this is about him being so drunk he isn't in control of himself. It's about him having to drink all the beer that's in the house. It's about him getting so drunk he passes out and is no use to anyone the following day. It's about his DD having seen him flash several times.

I'm with you Op. Please ignore the posters who are saying they'd be cool if their daughters had to see their dad's genitals every few weeks, they'd be cool if their DH couldn't control his drinking and passed out every few weeks. It isn't OK with you (or most people I suspect).

I understand why you need to get away.

Another one who has never seen my parents genitals. Would have hated to see my dad drunk like that too.

His major problem isn’t his ill fitting shorts but rather his unhealthy relationship with alcohol. TBH when I started reading I was expecting his shorts to be round his ankles and considering he was completely drunk and incapable they could have been.

@beentheretoo

I was in a relationship with a pisshead weed smoker who happened to be a loser Prick too

His skin pores reeked of stale acholic B.O once, !
that was enough for me,
even his face would quite weirdly change too when that much into drunken stupor three sheets to the wind pissed out of his mind

Sometimes and occasionally he would end up attempting to piss in the corner of the bedroom drunk and also piss into the kitchen sink too,🥴

He would drunk out of head once pissing outside someone's front door early hours of the morning after pubs had closed,

Living with serious Alcholic like that can quickly turn into living like you are on Jeremy Mckyle TV show back in the day...

So focus your ire on his alcoholism and encourage your daughter to be more open with you. You don't need an excuse to end a marriage if you've had enough

In the 1980s following a family holiday, we had pictures developed and noticed my brother had a bit of bollock hanging out of his shorts.

He was 9 and definitely not drunk.

Your DH getting blotto too often is a problem but it's entirely possible him not knowing about the escaped teste was nothing to do with his hungover state and he genuinely didn't know as these things happen.

I was wearing a wrap dress once and didn't notice my nipple was exposed till someone told me.

I can't get upset about this really. He could quite as easily fallen asleep not having had a drink and the same could have happened. He's not done it on purpose, he's apologised, maybe suggest some more fitted boxers/shorts so it doesn't happen again.

I've fallen asleep on the sofa in my dressing gown before now and woken up with a boob out, am I disgusting too?

I think its more that this is the final straw.

I wouldn't want to be with someone who regularly got so pissed.

His a slob

How long have you been together?

I’m all for getting drunk every now and then but I couldn’t be with someone who had a dependency on alcohol.

What are you doing whilst he’s sprawled out on the sofa?

If he’s usually a good partner and he’s just accidentally exposed himself, then I’d drop it but if this is just another thing to add to his list of faults then I would reconsider the relationship.

In what world is a breast the same as genitals? It sounds like you're deliberately trying to play it down for some reason.

At least compare it to flashing your fanny. Have you got so drunk you fell asleep in a communal area of your family home with your vulva on show?

The OP said that her husband gets drunk 'maybe every few months'. I wouldn't describe that as someone having a dependency on alcohol!

He was wearing baggy shorts and 'fell out'. It happens.

And in answering your question, I was on holiday a few years back with a friend who had baggy short shorts as a night-set and as we were sharing a room and she was lying down with her knees up and legs spread talking to me one morning, I did have to tell her I could see her fanny. She wasn't drunk.

The OP said that her husband gets drunk 'maybe every few months'. I wouldn't describe that as someone having a dependency on alcohol!

It's perhaps a slightly different but still unhealthy relationship with alcohol

He’s a binge drinker who doesn’t know when to stop! If he buys 10 beers he will drink all 10 or as close to until he passes out, he can’t have 2-3 then go to bed. As a result he was out of the game most of Sunday.

Someone who does this sort of thing may well have other negative behaviours contributing nails to the coffin