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Original poster

My friend just screenshot a photo of my boyfriend on a dating site

987 replies

Mountaindewstar · 22/05/2024 22:17

Well well well what an absolute c*t! I hate that word but yep what a c*t!!
In a relationship with a man for 11 months, had the exclusive chat. See each other regularly, relationship seemed good. My friend has just sent me a screenshot of him on a dating site... so at 1st I tried to look at it as positively as can be ...maybe it's an old profile... but no he likes her profile and he has recently been active.

I am so hurt and gutted but I'm happy to say my anger has taken over!!!! We were meant to see each other for the whole weekend this weekend coming all planned, dinner booked, swimming, walks a lunch, cinema... obviously now im not going... any advice on what I should message, I dont feel he is owed the dignified face to face end it... seriously what an absolute bastard!!!
I don't want to be hysterical in my msg , classy would be good but also let him know what I have been shown!
I'm so glad he has never met this friend!! He has no idea who she is ... utter scumbag

OP posts:
Scrollbreadroll · 24/05/2024 22:35

@Mountaindewstar This is the perfect moment now to just sent him the screenshot and then leave it at that. You don’t want him calling the police or thinking something bad has happened to you. And also he needs to know he’s been caught out. There’s no lesson to be learnt here if he’s left thinking he’s got anyway with it and that you’ve just turned weird on him.

Howbizarre22 · 24/05/2024 22:36

Scrollbreadroll · 24/05/2024 22:35

@Mountaindewstar This is the perfect moment now to just sent him the screenshot and then leave it at that. You don’t want him calling the police or thinking something bad has happened to you. And also he needs to know he’s been caught out. There’s no lesson to be learnt here if he’s left thinking he’s got anyway with it and that you’ve just turned weird on him.

Exactly. Or even a clear photo of u n your girl friend he messaged

Purpledream1 · 24/05/2024 22:36

Scrollbreadroll · 24/05/2024 22:35

@Mountaindewstar This is the perfect moment now to just sent him the screenshot and then leave it at that. You don’t want him calling the police or thinking something bad has happened to you. And also he needs to know he’s been caught out. There’s no lesson to be learnt here if he’s left thinking he’s got anyway with it and that you’ve just turned weird on him.

Agree this is definitely the moment to let him know that you know he's an utter scumbag.

TenesseeWhiskey · 24/05/2024 22:36

Yes @Mountaindewstar . Happy to hear you had a great time…. Definitely block now because he will spiral 😂. Block and delete the contact everywhere to stop you from getting back in touch…

ScottishWaylander · 24/05/2024 22:36

Mountaindewstar · 24/05/2024 22:32

I may do , I think I'm gonna just leave it

Show quote history

If you don't say something he may turn up at your door worried in case you've had an accident.

Stay strong whatever you do!

MRSRUDEBOX · 24/05/2024 22:36

Well done OP.

Damnedidont · 24/05/2024 22:37

So is your friend going to make plans then ghost him too if he contacts her?

Peachy2005 · 24/05/2024 22:39

If you’re not going to send him any screenshots, you should put any stuff you might have that’s his outside in a box as he’ll probably turn up.

newfriend05 · 24/05/2024 22:39

Well done OP , i would now bloke him on everything so he knows you just don't want contact with him

Teenagehorrorbag · 24/05/2024 22:41

I really would send him the screenshot of his dating profile. No need for the others. He needs to know he's been caught out otherwise he will think it's your fault somehow. And just imagine his face......😄

Also he might think you're hurt and call the police. Most people would, I imagine - and you don't need that sort of hassle........

Well done for being strong, and I'm glad you had a nice evening. Flowers

Moveoverdarlin · 24/05/2024 22:41

I don’t think you’ve handled this at all well. Just tell him!! He may phone the police shortly, or your relatives. You’ve got grade A evidence of his ass hole behaviour, so send him the screenshot before this charade all rolls on too long.

You’ve also used the poor bloke you went out with tonight. If someone who knows you or your ex saw you with your date tonight, slimeball will assume you were shagging this other bloke all along and you won’t have a leg to stand on.

GameOfJones · 24/05/2024 22:42

Definitely just send him the screenshot so he doesn't end up calling the police.

Send it now and then never, ever speak to him again.

Original poster
Mountaindewstar · 24/05/2024 22:45

Moveoverdarlin · 24/05/2024 22:41

I don’t think you’ve handled this at all well. Just tell him!! He may phone the police shortly, or your relatives. You’ve got grade A evidence of his ass hole behaviour, so send him the screenshot before this charade all rolls on too long.

You’ve also used the poor bloke you went out with tonight. If someone who knows you or your ex saw you with your date tonight, slimeball will assume you were shagging this other bloke all along and you won’t have a leg to stand on.

Edited

I suggest you read the whole thread

OP posts:
Loubelle70 · 24/05/2024 22:47

Teenagehorrorbag · 24/05/2024 22:41

I really would send him the screenshot of his dating profile. No need for the others. He needs to know he's been caught out otherwise he will think it's your fault somehow. And just imagine his face......😄

Also he might think you're hurt and call the police. Most people would, I imagine - and you don't need that sort of hassle........

Well done for being strong, and I'm glad you had a nice evening. Flowers

Definitely send screenshot then block

Howbizarre22 · 24/05/2024 22:47

Moveoverdarlin · 24/05/2024 22:41

I don’t think you’ve handled this at all well. Just tell him!! He may phone the police shortly, or your relatives. You’ve got grade A evidence of his ass hole behaviour, so send him the screenshot before this charade all rolls on too long.

You’ve also used the poor bloke you went out with tonight. If someone who knows you or your ex saw you with your date tonight, slimeball will assume you were shagging this other bloke all along and you won’t have a leg to stand on.

Edited

She doesn’t owe him a “mature” or dignified response. And stop with the ageism she can handle it how she sees fit her age does not and should not play a role!
It also does not matter one iota what the cheating scumbag thinks or believes about this new guy does it- so she does not need a ‘leg to stand on’ she’s not the one in the wrong!
also the new guy- she explained up thread how he is clear on the situation.
Are you a man by any chance? 🤣

Swanbeauty · 24/05/2024 22:47

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

ttcat37 · 24/05/2024 22:48

Surely he won’t just stop texting or trying to call if you said you were on your way and you didn’t show? He’ll be ringing around hospitals etc won’t be? I would definitely want the satisfaction of letting him know that you know with just a screenshot of his dating profile

GoldfinchandPringle · 24/05/2024 22:49

How do you know it isn’t someone else using his picture OP?

ThePoshUns · 24/05/2024 22:50

I think you should send the screenshot or tell him why you are ending it. Like others have said it could escalate and he might get others involved trying to fund you, you'll end up looking like a drama queen.

Swanbeauty · 24/05/2024 22:50

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

Avatartar · 24/05/2024 22:50

OP he may genuinely think you’ve been run over and could be phoning hospitals or the police.

Moveoverdarlin · 24/05/2024 22:51

Howbizarre22 · 24/05/2024 22:47

She doesn’t owe him a “mature” or dignified response. And stop with the ageism she can handle it how she sees fit her age does not and should not play a role!
It also does not matter one iota what the cheating scumbag thinks or believes about this new guy does it- so she does not need a ‘leg to stand on’ she’s not the one in the wrong!
also the new guy- she explained up thread how he is clear on the situation.
Are you a man by any chance? 🤣

Show quote history

Yeah you’re right. There is nothing wrong with a woman in her forties talking about #chicksb4dicks #catfishing and going out with a new bloke before she’s dumped the last one.

Mom2K · 24/05/2024 22:51

OP, you definitely have every right to handle the situation the way that makes you feel the best about it, but silence isn't power here.

Ghosting will make him think he got away with his behaviour as he doesn't know you know, and in his mind you disappearing just makes you the bad guy.

It's far more empowering IMO to show him he didn't pull the wool over your eyes and that you don't put up with this. You don't have to say anything, you could just send the screenshot as others have said.

I also think in this scenario if you don't send something he's going to turn up or send the police thinking something happened to you. In an 11 month relationship, I doubt he's going to jump to the conclusion that you've suddenly ghosted him. If he gets in touch with your friends and family worried something happened to you they might start to panic also.

AgathaX · 24/05/2024 22:53

You played it well. He doesn't need or deserve an explanation.

CustardySergeant · 24/05/2024 22:55

I thought you were going to text "I'm just leaving" because of the double meaning, rather than "I'm on my way".