How would you feel if your DP told you that the body type he's most attracted to isn't yours?

[Deargodletitgo]

This came up in conversation yesterday, that his ultimate fantasy would be with a woman who isn't quite the way I look (although I'm very much on the same spectrum but not to the degree he finds an ultimate turn on). Saying that, he wouldn't want a relationship as such with someone who looks like that apparently, and he does find me very attractive apparently and we have been very happy....

But since this admission from him I'm just feeling a bit crap I suppose. I don't tend to look at other men, whereas apparently he sure someone the other day and thought she was his ideal. I didn't need to know that at all.

I’d be pissed off and most men know not to say stuff like this.

I'd think he was crass and insensitive, and should have kept his gob shut.

Sounds like he thought you were being totally honest in your chat and he was just being aggressively (and hurt fully honest). Do you have an ideal body type in a man? My ideal body type isn't my husband. He's a 30 something bloke who doesn't get to exercise much. And I'm almost certain my body type wouldn't be his anymore after 3 kids. But we are together because we love each other and a great many reasons besides that, not because we have perfect or ideal bodies. Let it go.

Look up the word NEGGING @Deargodletitgo

And if you don't have children with this man. Think about whether you want to stay with him, because he won't get any better. If he is so damning of your body now, imagine how he will be when you have a post-baby body.

It really depends on the whole conversation, how it came up, why it was said and what you mean by ‘not to the degrees he finds an ultimate turn on’.

although, I would also want to know why he wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone that looks like that.

That part is likely to bother me the most.

I'd be repulsed because I'd find it very hard to accept that my partner is stupid enough and so insensitive as to say such a thing. What, exactly, does he expect you to do with this information now? What an absolute idiot.

I'd guess if my OH stated that, I'd believe they were already cheating and looking for an excuse for you to kick them out/divorce etc as they don't want to look like the bad OH

I never understand why people have these sorts of conversations. They never go well.

He should have kept his mouth shut.

If i was the OP - in a way I'd be glad to hear what my OH really though about me and then decide what to do next - being informed is often very helpful

Isn't that normal? If you asked most people who is their ideal man/woman wouldn't they give a filmstar or celebrity at their peak of good looks? Doesn't mean they don't appreciate their partner.

True, but he referenced some random woman he saw out the other weekend in terms of body type.

I wouldn't be offended, but it depends on the way you usually speak to each other. My dh and I would freely talk like that and we don't try to maintain an illusion that we are both (to each other) the most attractive people on earth. We obviously aren't, and that's OK.

This. ^ He would never be seeing my naked body again.

I have a friend who has been with her DH 34 years, (her 56 and him 58,) and she said he made a comment about her vulva around 8 years ago (when she was 48 and he was 50,) and said how it looks 'different' to how it used to when they first met when they were in their early 20s. He said it looks kind of 'dry' and 'slightly shrivelled.'

Some men are as thick as whale spunk. Imagine saying that?! And I bet his 50 year old cock didn't look like it did when he was in his fucking early 20s either.

Anyway, she said he never saw her vulva again after that. Just had PIV sex thereafter, as she never let him look at her vulva again.

Why are some men such cunts? No woman would ever say that about her man's penis.

!

I don't blame her! He's lucky he got another shag at all.

I’d feel like a was with someone who was either really stupid to say that or was with someone who wanted to try and knock my self esteem. Presuming you wouldn’t be with someone stupid, then that’s a tactic men use to get more control of you over time.

Either way, he’d be gone.

This

Why do people have these pointless conversations?

Are t there more Interesting things to talk about that don't involve putting someone down?

I think it was really hurtful of him and I think he intended it to be really hurtful.

My ideal body type on men is really muscley and long hair - like Jason Momoa. Jesus Christ I’d marry him tomorrow - or Vikings - yep love a Viking 😂😂

My ex DH was bald and over weight.

My Ex DH fantasy was Megan Fox - I’m blonde and 5,4

Didnt mean that I didn’t love him or find him attractive and I know my exdh loved me and found me attractive.

It’s a fantasy, not real and if you kicked off he will probably always watch his gob around you now. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing tbh

I think they say it on purpose. Because they're cunts and are somehow either trying to neg you or whatever it's called, or b) because they're telling you the truth and that IS what would truly turn them on and they're just aresholes for saying it to your face.

I think it's b), he just didn't think.

But I had a marriage where I know he didn't find me particularly attractive (at least that's always how made me feel). With DP I thought I had found someone who found me attractive for me, and I expect he does but yet I'm still left feeling like not quite enough....

I think it's b), he just didn't think.

I wouldn't be with a man who isn't able to "think."

I think he knew exactly what he was saying and why. I think he wanted to knock you down a peg or two, so you'd feel lucky that he's even with you.

Fuck that and fuck him.

Yeah, this! ^

I wouldn't care, I don't think.

Or don’t fuck him. Ever again.
(But yes, completely agree with the sentiment of this post)