Supporting a partner with long term health (e.g. high blood pressure)

[theprincessthepea]

My partner has high blood pressure. We are in our early 30s and he has had hypertension since his mid 20s. We’ve been together for 4 years.

He manages it pretty well, cooks food with little salt, exercises and balances stress or takes time off Work when it gets too much. He gets headaches often which he will nap off and will take medication only if his blood pressure is super high.

Now that our relationship is becoming serious, I’m starting to wonder what more I should know about high blood pressure - I’ve googled it - but I guess I’m looking for real life situations. I’ve asked him how I can support (his answer is living a stress free life).

I guess I’m scared something bad could happen. Does it get worse as you age?

How have some of you dealt with partners with health conditions such as HBP?

135/80 is not high and not at a level a GP would start medication. What medication is he taking when he says its high? What is it called? I'm wondering whether he's taking a beta blocker for anxiety when he feels anxious. They do lower BP as well.

That BP would not cause symptoms.

Even at what he reports as the highest (140/90) it absolutely would not cause symptoms.

135/80 is normal.

140/90 is the lowest raised reading for hypertension using one off BP readings.

He has not been sent home for high BP. If he was actually having symptoms causing him to be sent home then it's something else causing it. I can't help but wonder if you are getting half a story about all this though...

If he's actually been diagnosed as hypertension in the past he should have been investigated for it. Usually with extensive blood/irons tests and often cardiology review. It's also usually quite aggressively treated with meds due to the increased risk of stroke etc.

If he's had some borderline/ raised readings he needs to do 7 days of home BP readings for his GP/pharmacist to review. They can explain to him how to take accurate readings and he needs to make sure his machine is actually calibrated so giving accurate results.

If his average home BP readings are raised the gp will discuss management options with him, and he needs to listen to the GP and do what they recommend 🙄

If it was me though, I think his behaviour about all this is odd and quite silly, and I'd seriously consider getting rid.

Gosh, that bp is not high. It’s quite normal, and I’m not sure a GP would medicate for that. It wouldn’t make you feel at all unwell, I’d say. Mine has been near on 200/100 and I’ve felt fine. I think he’s manipulating you with these tales of ill health.

I think he's taking the piss out of you, OP, sorry.

He needs to be on meds and stay on meds. My late husband was diagnosed with high blood pressure in his early 20s - definitely genetic. He was on lifelong medication. I was diagnosed in my late 40s, again strong family history, and I take my meds every day. My BP on meds is a steady 130/80 and has been even as I age. His headaches are a bad sign, I know 2 people who had high BP, no symptoms at all and had major strokes in their early 40s. It's not a joke.

My DC know they are at high risk and monitor regularly.

Yep same here.
To be honest op if he is ill to the point of having to sleep off headaches and feeling dizzy but won't take the medication prescribed to him I would be seriously worried about his judgement. He's not a doctor and shouldn't just decide when he should and shouldn't take his medication. He could very easily have a stroke and if you are together you will potentially have to deal with the consequences.
My DH knows I have high blood pressure but doesn't need to know any more as I take the medication I am perscibed to reduce it!

His blood pressure isn’t that high - it warrants keeping an eye on but not ‘high’ and the ‘highest’ reading isn’t that concerning either in isolation.

Why is he refusing to take the medication that he’s been prescribed? Either he’s worried so he’ll accept treatment or he’s not.

Sounds to me like he’s embellishing his condition so people fuss over him.

I’ve been on antihypertensives since my second pregnancy - HBP never resolved after pre-eclampsia. Once they got the meds right I’ve been fine.

Nothing you say adds up.

i don’t have the name of the medication but yes he is meant to be taking them everyday and they were prescribed by the GP. He used to but decided to stop because “he is young” and didn’t like the side effects which included dizziness, blurred vision and he had to give up driving.

Despite the comments I don’t believe he is being manipulative at all as he doesn’t bring it up as an excuse for anything. He does a lot of the housework, shopping, and turns up when needed. He is super active which might be why we haven’t had a serious discussion about it. He hasn’t used it as an excuse and is usually eager to go back to work when he takes time off.

This thread has helped me to at least ask the right questions and to better understand the “condition”.

He has booked a GP appointment for tomorrow - not necessarily for blood pressure, but for the headaches.
i don’t have the name of the medication but yes he is meant to be taking them everyday and they were prescribed by the GP. He used to but decided to stop because “he is young” and doesn’t want it to be part of his daily life.

This thread has helped me to at least ask the right questions and to better understand the “condition”.

He has booked a GP appointment for tomorrow - not necessarily for blood pressure, but for the headaches.

I will use this week to get to the bottom of it.

He isn’t manipulative - he doesn’t just bring it up randomly. In a day to day he is fine, he actually does a lot of the domestic

I will use this week to get to the bottom of it.

He hasn’t asked for support but I am concerned.

Sorry I’ve not tagged everyone as it keeps refreshing but replied to what I could.

He used to but decided to stop because “he is young” and doesn’t want it to be part of his daily life.

He sounds like an idiot.

Given up driving?

Happy to be corrected but if everyone on bp meds gave up driving, the roads would be deserted.

Right?

This is genuinely one of the most bonkers threads I’ve read in a while

Surely I'm not the only one thinking that only a man could turn a mildly elevated blood pressure reading into a life-limiting illness requiring his partner's "support"??

That’s great he was able to get a GP appointment at such short notice, especially on a Sunday. I assume you are going along with him ?

Especially on a Sunday 🤣

I agree. He should be taking medication all the time, but if he refuses then it's his problem and you don't have to "support" him.

He's being ridiculous
Does he think young people don't have to take medication daily?
I did from being 12
One of my medications gives me 24hrs of flu symptoms not to mention the headaches and bone pain
And as for giving up driving...

BP meds wouldn’t mean you couldn’t drive. I suspect he’s bullshitting you big time OP. None of this rings true at all.

@theprincessthepea if he gets side effects from the medication then he needs to tell the GP and they can prescribe him something different . Hypertension is so easily managed and frankly it’s worrying that someone who sounds as dense as your boyfriend is a teacher .

I don’t know how all these women are being duped by these manipulative and moronic men.

He’s being pathetic and irresponsible by ignoring his high blood pressure and headaches , he needs to take his medication every day to keep it under control and live a normal life otherwise he’ll die or have a stroke !! Tell him the truth he’s being stupid!

This is all very odd.135/80 isn't high. I don't understand how he's been prescribed meds at this level. Also, high BP often cones without symptoms. My BP has been 190/110 with no symptoms. There is no way of knowing how high your BP is just by how you feel!

Why did he have to give up driving? Surely if the medications side effects were so severe you go back to the GP to be given a different one. There's loads of different BP meds available, all at differing strengths.

I'm sorry OP, either he is lying through his teeth or he's not that intelligent. Don't procreate with either a liar or an idiot unless you want to be a single parent.

they may not be in the uk. We can book GP appts online. The office strongly prefers that method.

OP this is a load of cobblers

That reading is somewhat high for his age, but not hugely, BP goes up and down, as an occasional reading it wouldn’t be a cause for concern. If it was constant perhaps he would be prescribed meds, I don’t know -

HOWEVER - He wouldn’t suffer any symptoms from it. BP only creates symptoms when it is stroke level high.

BP meds would not cause him to have to give up driving. If he had issues with them, the GP would prescribe something else.

It does sound to me like he’s invented this as a useful tool that means he can take a day off when he feels like it - or that he genuinely suffers with untreated anxiety.

Get to the bottom of this before you marry him, there is something wrong here, and it’s not his BP

I needed to try 5 meds before I found one that didn't give me bad side effects.

This is all very odd.