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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

No social media at all

109 replies

Palacelife · 05/04/2024 05:31

Would this raise a concern for you? If someone has never had any social media presence at all, not even professionally on something like LinkedIn
blanket silence online
would this concern you?

OP posts:
TheyNotAllUseless · 05/04/2024 05:43

I'd like it, SM is a load of shite. But would be annoying not to be able to stalk.

haveyoutriedturningitoffandonagain · 05/04/2024 05:44

Nope. Many people are in jobs that mean they have to be "off grid" social media wise.

Garlicked · 05/04/2024 05:48

I don't know. Somebody posting endless updates or messaging non-stop would drive me nuts - but isn't a complete lack of online presence supposed to be a security flag?

My XH is a "very private person". He's dodgy and secretive.

Stickyricepudding · 05/04/2024 05:49

My friend is off grid on sm because if her ex finds her he'll most likely kill her. To be fair, she wouldn't date online either for the same reason in case he's stalking her via a dating app.

Another friend works in the legal sector in a highly sensitive job so she's not allowed sm either. There are multiple valid reasons why many people don't have an online presence.

Headingforburnout · 05/04/2024 05:50

I was going to say my DH has zero social media but actually he is on LinkedIn but only for when he was job hunting really and he never looks at it otherwise. We’ve been together for 25 years and he just has zero interest in any other SM.

GrazingSheep · 05/04/2024 05:53

I’m not on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook if that’s what you mean by social media?

GrazingSheep · 05/04/2024 05:54

Or LinkedIn.

DrDavidStarKey · 05/04/2024 05:58

I've got loads of mates that wouldn't consider creating a social media profile. It's not a red flag.

Hoosemover · 05/04/2024 06:06

My dh doesn’t have SM . Isn’t in a job that require not to be online. He just can’t be arsed.

splashofcolour · 05/04/2024 06:08

My husband has none and it seems really healthy! I have Instagram. That's it.

Disasterclass · 05/04/2024 06:11

DP doesn't have any social media, never has and just not interested. I'm not sure why it would be a red flag?

Quite a few of his friends don't either. Maybe it's their age (late 40s) but none of them need it for work and they tend to spend their time with friends, playing sports, with their kids etc rather than on social media

JamNittyGritty · 05/04/2024 06:12

I have a Facebook account which I haven’t posted on in a few years - that’s it - no snap, insta, linked in etc. No red flags, I am divorced with 2 kids but in a great relationship of a few years, have a successful career, good friends, am not up to anything / trying to hide anything. I just don’t like it and find it not great for mental health.

ZekeZeke · 05/04/2024 06:12

I'm on no social media neither is DH

thatsnotmynamethstsnotmyname · 05/04/2024 06:14

My dh did facebook for first couple of years then dropped it . He's on what's app and LinkedIn. But he's in his forties. I also have a friend who is very tech phobic (she only recently got a smart phone) she has never used any sm.

The only thing I would say is if this was someone I was dating I would be concerned that they were hiding something from me. But other than that it wouldn't bother me. I wouldn't like it if a partner was too entrenched in sm tho.

Teentaxidriver · 05/04/2024 06:32

I am not on social media - I worked with a woman in the early days of Facebook who was an attention-seeking, vacuous, shallow, vain, narcissistic shagger and she LOVED it. Quite formative of my opinion of people who obsess about SM. I am not on any of it.

Ohffsbarbara · 05/04/2024 06:35

Why would you think it weird?

I don’t have any SM at all.

Id find it weird that someone would find that weird!

CaprisunAh · 05/04/2024 06:54

I would assume they either had one once and deleted it for some reason and either totally left social media or have some or all social media under an alias that either some of his close network know or nobody who knows him in real life knows of that he uses to keep up with trends and has an online nosey with.

It's easy enough to find things on youtube, share things on whatsapp, many people have their social media public so you can view without having social media.

Some people are private by nature or work or have stalker concerns.

I would be more put off by someone who shares too much on social media.

Tanfastic · 05/04/2024 06:55

My mate didn't have social media as such, we communicated by good old fashioned text or just waited till we met up. My husband doesn't have it either.

Itsonlymashadow · 05/04/2024 06:56

I know a few people who don’t have it.

The most senior people at work don’t have it all.

CaprisunAh · 05/04/2024 06:56

MN is social media isn't it?

Do we mean by social media Twitter, FB and Insta? What about Tiktok and YouTube? Chat forums?

howtofixteeth · 05/04/2024 06:58

Yes, given the huge number of married men using online dating to cheat, I would be concerned that they were lying about who they are as they are actually married.

If, on the other hand, they genuinely had no social media then no, this wouldn't worry me.

PaintedEgg · 05/04/2024 07:02

lots of people don't have any social media - I have few friends who don't exist on social media and even ask to be censored in group photos others may be posting.

TheaBrandt · 05/04/2024 07:03

Green flag. Marry them immediately.

Dh has no social media (by this I mean fb insta etc) to the extent I get the algorithm sending me dating app suggestions.

He does WhatsApp with his mates and strava to track his rides but has never posted a showing off post in his life

lovepotionnumbernine · 05/04/2024 07:07

I'm not on social media. I don't photograph well and I can't be arsed. How is it a red flag that I don't want to use it.