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Original poster

No social media at all

109 replies

Palacelife · 05/04/2024 05:31

Would this raise a concern for you? If someone has never had any social media presence at all, not even professionally on something like LinkedIn
blanket silence online
would this concern you?

OP posts:
Lurkingandlearning · 05/04/2024 07:07

I see your point. It can be a useful way to gauge someone. But people can and do deceive on their social media. In those situations you are as in the dark as if they had no presence at all.

As PPS have said there are many good reasons for people having no SM.

I don’t think you can ever know someone well without spending time with them.

SummerInSun · 05/04/2024 07:14

What age is this person? I think many many people over, say, mid 40s, think social media is a weird pointless waste of time that's totally invasive of your privacy. My DH and I are only on LinkedIn and only because we work the sort of professional jobs where people expect to be able to find you.

So in short, no, I wouldn't see it as a red flag.

mitogoshi · 05/04/2024 07:18

Dp has LinkedIn for professional reasons and that's it, it's refreshing

Jelliclecats · 05/04/2024 07:23

I don’t use anything apart from Mumsnet. The toxicity and dumbing down involved with SM depresses me.

I just live a quiet life gardening and reading, work and family…so pretty sure I’m not red flagged!
DP doesn’t either.

Usernamewassavedsuccessfully · 05/04/2024 07:23

I only have FB. I don't even use WhatsApp. The 'red flag' thing is a bit overdone but I would steer clear of someone always on SM myself, so it works both ways.

CaprisunAh · 05/04/2024 07:24

Strava allows you to connect, shows some off your data, you can comment, post pics etc. It's a sort of social media and it is showing off your athletic prowess and 'healthy adventurous' life style. Or maybe fancy destinations or sports gear @TheaBrandt

TruthThatsHardAsSteel · 05/04/2024 07:25

Ohffsbarbara · 05/04/2024 06:35

Why would you think it weird?

I don’t have any SM at all.

Id find it weird that someone would find that weird!

Same here!

CadyEastman · 05/04/2024 07:25

I know two men who are not on SM. One is my ex who is beyond dodgy. Simply doesn't want people he owes money to or partners of the women he's slept with tracking him down.

The other is the most lovely kind man but his job means that he can't have SM.

Chersfrozenface · 05/04/2024 07:27

I know people IRL who don't have a social media presence. But that's the point, I know them IRL.

If it was someone on a dating app, yes, I'd be suspicious. They can't be that allergic to technology or they wouldn't be using it to look for a relationship (or a shag).

Whatthefuck3456 · 05/04/2024 07:33

i don’t have social media and that’s through personal choice. I don’t have nothing to hide, I’m not secretive I just prefare to not have it. I would rather have someone who doesn’t have it than someone who sits on it for hours.

BCBird · 05/04/2024 07:39

I'm.not on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn. No red flags, just don't want to. WhatsApp is enough for me.

I've been on a dating app and met someone in exactly tge same position. Wasn't red flag for either of us and wouldn't ge for me again if i went back on.

WhisperPeach · 05/04/2024 07:50

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request

shoppingshamed · 05/04/2024 08:09

Are you very young OP, no one may age wold thuj anything of someone not being in SM, probably the opposite if they were on Snapchat or tiktok

Aikko · 05/04/2024 08:12

Not a red flag. Probably a net positive.
If they already have fulfilling social lives, why bother with it.

skippyskipping · 05/04/2024 08:16

It depends on the context really! If this is a person you met on OLD and they're telling you this, I'd be worried they had a partner, different name or were hiding something from you. However if this is a person you know well and trust and that's just their choice, then no, I don't think it's strange at all. Some people just don't like to put their lives online.

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 05/04/2024 08:16

Of course it's not weird. I would be incredibly put off by somebody if they were on facebook so having no social media presence at all would be a big positive.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 05/04/2024 08:17

Other than MN I have zero SM presence and I work in a school. Why would that be weird?

Symphony830 · 05/04/2024 08:24

I have zero social media. It started initially as I’d had a stalker when I was younger, so would ensure anything such as 192 didn’t have me showing via the search engines.

Socially I have missed out, but have maintained anonymity online as I’m in a profession where there are highly problematic men who I know Google me (rare name), admit to having done this - and not found out any information about me.

As a result, people have viewed me suspiciously but they understand when I explain.

HoppingPavlova · 05/04/2024 08:25

I’m on no social media. Don’t have LinkedIn as don’t need it for work purposes or to get a job if I want to change. I’m only on Mumsnet. I have no secrets, nothing to hide. Why is it a flag?

RollOnSpringDays · 05/04/2024 08:27

My OH doesn’t have any social media at all. He’s just not interested in it.

ARichtGoodDram · 05/04/2024 08:28

What kind of job do they have? That would be one of the considerations for me. If their job is the type where most people would have LinkedIn then it’s a red flag. If they’ve been a binman for the local council since they left school then not a red flag at all

The other SM isn’t necessarily a red flag, but I think treating it very cautiously from OLD is absolutely wise given the number of cheats in there.

PiningPenelope · 05/04/2024 08:29

Not to put the fear, but my friend dated a guy for over a year like this and it turned out he was married with kids. EVERYTHING she knew about him was a lie - his name, his job, his home. He went to extreme depths to recreate his 'false life'... It was crazy!

I'm gonna say this is the exception to the rule though! 😂

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 05/04/2024 08:38

I was off social media for a bit and then went back on it but I know quite a few people who don’t use it now.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 05/04/2024 08:52

Actually the last man I met for a date and chattered with, he said he’d been off Facebook for a while and was now back on it. He’d been recently divorced tried to blame his ex wife for it so maybe he’d been messing around with woman on Facebook.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 05/04/2024 08:57

I think I might be slightly concerned if there was no social media at all, only because some men lie. But it wouldn’t necessarily concern me. My last ex was on Facebook and insta but it was really boring, photos of where he’d been on holiday and stuff like that, nothing exciting. (Should have alerted me to exactly how boring he was!) 🤣