Thread here for anyone who is in want of support. A quiet, nonjudgmental space to talk about the difficult aftermath of going no contact or being cut off by family.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/off_the_beaten_track/5030150-stately-homes-annex-for-survivors-of-family-estrangement?page=2&reply=134130333
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Relationships
Survivors of family estrangement…
Darker · 30/03/2024 18:28
Page 2 | Stately homes annex for survivors of family estrangement | Mumsnet
Hello and welcome to the annex, a safe space for those of us who are consciously and deliberately no longer in contact with one or more family members...
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/off_the_beaten_track/5030150-stately-homes-annex-for-survivors-of-family-estrangement?page=2&reply=134130333
FiveLamps · 10/04/2024 17:27
My sibling has cut themselves off from me, after sending some really nasty messages blaming me. It basically all relates to their relationship breakdown and them feeling like members of the family took sides. (We didn't, we just didn't cut the former partner off completely due to the children).
Sorry, being vague as I don't want to be recognised.
Most of the time I'm fine, but every so often something will remind me of our childhood, or I see something which would make them laugh, and then I remember that I can't message them anymore. Then I worry about if/when I will have to attempt contact, such as when one of our parents becomes unwell or dies. It's just very sad.
ItsFreedomBabyYeah · 14/04/2024 01:04
I am estranged from my only sibling, due to our toxic, narcissistic mother.
Brother and I were best friends as teens - he knew our mother was toxic, I did not at that point. He tried to warn me, I thought it was sour grapes.
So our mother played favourites. Whichever child was doing what she wanted, obeying her etc, was the favourite. That was me. I was a terribly shy child, so I did what she wanted and she showered me with attention and affection. I was very much a people (mother) pleaser. If you disobeyed Mother, well, she cut you off.
As bro and I got older, mother started false rumours and innuendo to drive a wedge between us. Knowing, that we wouldn't ask questions, we just went along with it, believing the other was badmouthing us. By the time we were late 20's/early 30's, Bro and I barely spoke. This is exactly what mother wanted.
Middle aged now & Mother continues her divide and conquer, however sadly, my brother believes her BS and is under her spell as he is now "the golden child". I cannot reconcile how any parent would deliberately set out to sabotage and ruin their child's siblings relationship but mother has. She gloats about it.
Its too late for us; I lost my brother a long time ago. He is now someone I do not recognise. I did call mother out once, about 10 years ago. She told me my brother said something about me, so I called my bro, then and there and asked him "did you say x, y or z". He laughed and said "ofcourse not". This caused a massive fallout, as our father recognised what mother had done and was subsequently very angry with her. So, she got her just desserts. Once.
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