Dating thread 246 - Spring Dating

[SamW98]

Continued from 245….

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Well it was windy as hell and I wore a dress so spent ages worrying about flashing my knickers. Then I ended up being accidentally late through no fault of my own. But after all that it went well. It was nice and relaxed after chatting a bit on the phone beforehand.

That sounds a bit 'red pill/alpha male' TBH. You're better off well rid.

Did you like him?

@friendswiththemonstera I was a little surprised that I asked him to repeat it! Lol. It wasn’t said in a mean way, but he is very dry in his delivery on everything so I wasn’t massively sure to behind with.

To be honest, the worst I had was a face to face date when he asked me id I had slept with a woman! Promptly said none of your business and that’s bot an appropriate question - no second date there!

Yeh, I really fancied him from his pictures and thought he had a nice voice on the phone. So the second I saw him and realised he looked like his picture I was made up 🫣🫣

Red flag. If it really came down to it, I would rather be with someone chill and 'passive' and is reasonable than this type of dross

@Pepsimaxedout this is great! When's the next date? I can tell from my date's pictures some are older and some are newer but I fancy him in all of them. So whatever version I get I'll hope I'll be ok xxx

Thanks everyone.
No next meeting planned yet but having to plan around my kids being out as don't want to go to his...no way will he be able to get it up in the bedroom he used to share with his ex
I'm not surprised he struggled he is worried about his kids finding out (his eldest, 28) quizzed him as to why he was round so long last night, also I am a completely different body shape to his ex (she is pushing 20 stone I am just under 11, so even touching me etc must feel different)
I was more than happy with the foreplay...he made me orgasm 4 times (definite win 😉😉) so as long as he keeps those coming (pardon the pun🤣😉) I am happy as we are for now...eventually it has to go up right??

@friendswiththemonstera that is seriously scary! So sorry you were triggered by that. Meant to reply earlier but kids…

I have started having a chat/facetime with the men before I am arranging to meet them. They all seem okay with this. Had two FaceTime dates yesterday. Call 1 was a great chat, but his teeth were coffee stained, badly. He was lovely and we had a
nice chat but these me ask for a date in the moment. I sort of hesitated and said that would be nice but messaged afterwards saying no. Call 2 was fun! We are meeting after work on Tuesday.

Seeing Mr Music next Saturday. We are
doing everything which feels like dating, he is showing up differently this
time, but we haven’t had a chat about what we are doing. I’m enjoying it nonetheless!

@mumofoneanddone82 it's gonna be early next week. We've both got our kids over the bank holiday so both busy.

@2anddone I can see why you wanna keep this bloke hanging around 😆But he doesn't sound like he's in a healthy head space at all with any of it. It won't be long before he starts dumping the emotional baggage on you, so make sure you get rid when that starts happening!

FaceTime useful as I only date men with kids and schedules can be tricky to meet in person.

@Pepsimaxedout ah exciting! Looking forward to the update!

Can I be nosy and ask how old everyone is on this thread? I'm 41 if anyone cares ! Got a lovely message from the guy I'm seeing today, last night, saying he can't wait to see me tomorrow and really looking forward to it! For some reason I'm not even more nervous I'm not going to live up to his expectations

@Pepsimaxedout I have a feeling that could happen currently so far so good....we chatted for a couple of hours the first day he came round a mixture of what had happened and general chit chat...there was no chatting at all yesterday morning so long as the no chatting continues I think we will be fine
I know this is going nowhere and is just a bit of fun so hoping to enjoy it while it lasts...and save myself some money on batteries 😉😉

@mumofoneanddone82 I am 46. Good luck with your date today make sure you post on here afterwards. I think he sounds lovely and it's nice to hear someone is looking forward to meeting you...just not hundreds of times like Mr S did to me!

@LittleFloatingGhost FaceTime is a really good idea takes some of the nervousness out of the first meeting too and also means you know exactly what they look like when you meet in person!!

I have a date with Mr shy tonight!
Feeling a bit nervous for some reason? Probably because as the dates tick on I am starting to like him more and this is going to have to mean lowering some barriers.
He's such a good talker but how can I encourage more chats about feelings etc with someone who is shy?

@mumofoneanddone82 Aw I hope it goes well today! Keep us updated. It's nice he's messaged saying he's looking forward to it as well.

@LittleFloatingGhost I've never face timed but done good old fashioned phone calls. I spend most of my working day on teams calls so the idea of doing similar on a date would be hell!!

@2anddone 😆just stop him from talking!!

@blacksocks33 Just ask him the question playfully. 'So this is date 5, I'm enjoying spending time with you, where do you see this going?' And just remember, it's not all up to him. If you're not feeling it, you can say that too.

@mumofoneanddone82 I am 39, just 😂

@blacksocks33 I genuinely have no idea. Maybe keep talking and creating environments where he feels he can open up?

Oh and I'm 43 BTW.

LittleFloatingGhost I like (well, I don't like them, I hate them, but needs must) a video call too, especially if there is going to be a delay before you can meet. I was supposed to have one with my last chat.

I'm 42.
My age range is set at 38-48 on Bumble, but on the free one I'll go a little bit either way, if they tick every other box.

I'm 44. I've currently got a few chats going that hopefully end up in dates. I took a bit of break due to work this month but now back to swiping!

I’m the elder stateswoman of the thread at 55 and I can tell you ladies the old men are the worst 🤣

My age range is set at 48-60. I don’t do FaceTime - never have and I never will. Been asked and I refuse which some take badly and throw the ‘must have something to hide’ at me. I don’t really do phone calls much either. The ones I’ve had always seem to men who talk over me and love the sound of their own voice. And the one I had long nightly calls with and thought there was a connection turned out to be the worst date I’ve had in my whole life!

Update is I unmatched Mr Tea - it was pointless meeting a man with the conversation skills of a house brick who gave cocklodger vibes. So I’m back to zero matches currently and really not caring. I’m only on Bumble now. Came off POF as the messages were 😩 and Hinge just never works for me

Just booked a holiday in June with my friend so I’m doing what I usually do and living life making plans wirh my girlfriends.

61 😊 but I am always been told I don't look my age
Similar age range to @SamW98
Only chatting too one at the moment , but lives a bit far from me .

@SamW98 POF is dire
Was on it a few years ago, when I first separated ( I am now divorced)

Only on Bumble and Hinge and match all free at the moment, but might subscribe ??

Oh my god @SamW98 why was the date so bad after great phone calls? I'm meeting a guy today who I've been chatting to on the phone and we get on really well! Thought that would mean it would be fine in real life.

Thanks ladies for sharing your ages! Seems we're all in a similar age bracket! Really interested to hear everyone else's' experience! This thread makes everything less isolating and shines a light on men being the problem a lot of the time! With their weird behaviour, when you're dating without anyone to chat to it can seem you're the only one going through it