Dating thread 246 - Spring Dating

[SamW98]

Continued from 245….

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I think you've described how I feel perfectly. I don't want to fuck this one up! I have no desire for marriage etc again so I'm not getting carried away with anything like that. It's just the whole 'should I text him or is that too much?' But every time I send a text he texts back with something nice. And he does plenty of instigating texts/conversations too. So I'm going to take my own advice and chill TF out!

Perhaps he was still awake and still pissed at that point. My ex would wake up at 5am still absolutely steaming and them go back to bed at 8am!

Pepsimaxedout Yeah that's a good point.
My ex used to wake up around 7, down a can of beer then go back to sleep until noon. FOUL mood if he didn't have any beer!

😆😆😆

Absolutely, I clearly haven't been OLD for long enough as this did not cross my mind.

Have decided I need to reclaim 'dear' and as you suggest @cassiatwenty when I come across the next sex pest I'm using it.

Love this thread, you lot make me laugh. Im off work this week and too much time on my hands. Meant to be painting a ceiling but have been swiping left endlessly which is depressing but this chat has made me smile.

Random question...how long does it sometimes take for men to reply on bumble!!
I have a couple of chats who message and obviously hang around for me to reply so we can actually get a chat going....or will message to say now going into a meeting will message when I am done if we have been messaging backwards and forwards!
Then I have some that send a message so I reply then....nothing until they reply about an hour later!! Very hard then to get a chat going!
Also if you go into your chat list and see that one person has been put into past chats and next to his name it says account deleted but you can still read your conversation....would you say married and caught??

@2anddone I've got a few chats that have deleted accounts. I assume it is people who met someone or got fed up with the apps. I actually don't mind someone who takes a bit longer to reply as it shows they have stuff going on in their life.

Well I’ve matched with someone who lives in my town so decided to be brave and say rather than messaging back and forth, as we’re almost neighbours it’s easier to meet for a drink!

Lets see

@2anddone Whilst on Bumble I had this weird weird feeling that men almost resented being messaged first and then didn't reply or were very shit at chatting. I say this because I didn't have such experiences elsewhere.

If someone deletes their profile, maybe not married and caught, perhaps just burnt out by online dating

Dear Mumsnetters,

The term 'dear' is another old term of endearment, dating back to at least the early 14th Century. It comes from the Old English deore meaning precious, valuable, costly, loved, beloved. It's believed that this is a shortening of dear one, which has been used as a term of affection to begin letters since the 1500s.

Enjoy your dates and I hope when you go to the bar it's chap and isn't....dear.

@2anddone
Yes, happens to me
One I was chatting to last week, he was going out Saturday night,
I replied , enjoy your evening
Has never replied since ??
And previous chats have disappeared, funnily enough always seems to be on the weekend , hmmm !!

@SamW98
You're brave, but why not, hope he replies with a yes .

@SamW98 I think it is a really good idea, I'm so glad I just met Mr W really quickly rather than all the usual messaging. Didn't work out as he wasn't for me but at least I've not spent loads of time mentally or otherwise.

2anddone Yes, happens to me all the time. One message & then nothing.

My mum used to call me 'dear' & I used to find it hilarious, when I was little, as I thought that she was calling me a deer. I'd forgotten that memory until all of this

Don't these men work if they can sleep till noon during the week?

@2anddone I rarely reply to a message straight away even if I see. I'm not into big chatting... I've still had a good conversations without sitting I'm the app waiting for messages. But if they don't reply within few days, I'd unmatch.

User990 The one I was just talking to had 'Flexible working' which meant that he could take a 3 hour lunch break & make up the time later on (So he said, as we were supposed to be meeting on his lunch break if we'd got on)

He told me that he was supposed to start at 9 but then messaged at 11 one day & 1 the next, both times saying that he'd just woken up, so I guess he was really making the most of that 'Flexible working'.

I don't sit on the app waiting for messages but I pop on & off it during the day, if life allows, when I'm chatting to somebody.

Well he replied with ‘I agree it’s better to meet but I don’t drink’

So I replied ‘coffee then’ and he said ‘I only drink tea’

Hmm this could be hard work

@SamW98 where do you find these men🤣

@SamW98 He's complicating things Tell him "as i drink my coffee, you're allowed to drink your tea, dear"

I would let Dan Snow call me 'dear' and lecture me about history anytime ☺️

Girls I'm having a major confidence wobble! I'm going on a date in Friday. Have been really excited for it. Have spoken to the guy for a week and we've spoken twice in the phone... nearly two hours each time! I know we'll get on, but I'm so worried I'm going to disappoint him looks wise. All my photos are recent and taken in the last year and I did send him a selfie with my dog the other day! I've just felt so run down and really feel I look a bit haggered at the moment. He's mentioned a couple of things to me, that make me feel he is insecure too (put on a bit of weight etc). We get on so well on the phone and I know I'm putting too much pressure on it (but I'm sure some can relate)! Going to sleep and hopefully feel better in the morning! Thanks for letting me vent xxx

For the love of God, has this man never been to a weatherspoons?!

I get like this with every single date I've been on. And it's always been OK. Just remember, if they don't like you, they don't deserve you!

@Pepsimaxedout
I have never been to a Weatherspoons 😮😮
But have heard of em.

Ok it's happened....I have met someone....IN THE WILD 😱😱
I have been friends with him on Facebook for years but never really interacted...anyway tonight I sent him a message as he put a post on Facebook about eras ending and does closing/windows opening so I messaged and said hope was all ok as I was worried his wife was ill! Turns out she walked out on him in November and the divorce papers came through today!!
We have been chatting all evening and he is coming round for a coffee tomorrow...we live on the same estate.
Only meeting as friends but could move to more if there is any spark...very aware he is recently separated but also aware the divorce has gone through and he seems ok!
Will keep you posted...bloody men are like buses none for years then they all come along at once