Dating thread 246 - Spring Dating

[SamW98]

Continued from 245….

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Good luck 🤞 Nerves are good I think.

I have to say I don’t find OLD soul destroying or that it affects my confidence, it’s just mind numbingly tedious. The same closed messages, appalling grammar etc.

Been on there today and already the messages are 😩

OLD doesn't affect me like it used to, but that's because I'm so guarded now that I hardly let anybody 'In'. When I first joined up I found it incredibly difficult with all of the negativity/crappy behaviour. It made a huge dent in my self-confidence.

Pepsimaxedout Good luck, I'm sure it will be great

I've arranged a date with my new one but it's not until 03rd as that's the first date we can both do. Bit gutted that it's so far away, next week would have been ideal for me.

He said 'Now we have to see if we can keep each others interest before then'. Indeed.

So I matched with a guy let's call him Mr S, we messaged back and forth a few times and he suggested a phone call, spoke on the phone to him this evening for just under an hour and we are meeting up on Good Friday! He seems nice..no red flags so far...we shall see!!

Tonight was great!! I am a bit tipsy. Had a snog when we said goodbye and made plans to meet up again when we are both child free!

Amazing! So happy to hear the update from you and @2anddone

Sounds great @Pepsimaxedout so pleased it went well for you

Fantastic. Really pleased for you

Great updates @Pepsimaxedout and @2anddone

Fingers crossed for you! Hope the date goes well x

How often do you all message between dates in the very early days?

Well I just got called a fine filly by a 77 year old so on that note I think my day is complete 🤣

I hope you replied saying 'nah' 😆

Depends. I've had ones who text A LOT and TBH I didn't really like it. I prefer a couple of 'I'm still here and interested' messages. But not loads.

How about "neigh/nay" 😂

That's what I'd meant to say but I was a bit tipsy and over excited last night 😆

How have you woke up feeling this morning @Pepsimaxedout?
So pleased you had a good time.

Haha!! So glad you had so much fun!

It was a really nice night. I was really worried about meeting him because we've been chatting for a while and I built it up to this bigger thing in my head. Then my bus didn't turn up and ended up running late which didn't help!

But as soon as we met, we just got chatting and had a great time. We're both on the same page in terms of where we are with life, what we're looking for etc. We had a good laugh. Spoke about meeting up again and worked out when we're both child free so going to sort something out for then. He messaged when he got home as well saying he'd had a nice time etc. So it's looking promising.

So we shall see. I'm coming off the apps regardless because it's too much head fuckery.

@Pepsimaxedout @2anddone omg amazing news! Really pleased for you both!
Isn't it crazy that all of a sudden things can just change ☺️ Keeping fingers crossed for you both!

In an ideal world, I would just like a couple of texts in the evening... to keep up the momentum/interest etc.
it's hard to not fall down the rabbit hole of texting a lot and then things naturally slowing down and wondering what's going on etc!

@Pepsimaxedout & @2anddone
so pleased for you both, brilliant updates.

Well I managed to pluck up the courage and had a phone call last night with one I've been messaging for a few days, Mr W. An hour and a half we chatted for 😬

He was lovely, funny and easy to chat to. He said at the end that he'd like to meet and he'd leave it to me to let him
Know when would suit. I then sent a message saying thanks for the call it was lovely speaking to you and he sent a goodnight,
Lovely to speak to you too one back.

So I now just need to suggest a date & hope he doesn't vanish or become really needy or show some other 🚩

I did tell him about the one that I'd been chatting to for two weeks who vanished and he said he'd had the same kind of thing happen previously and how hard it was to invest something of yourself to then be ghosted and that he wouldn't disappear on me at least not without telling me first. Which was reassuring in terms of him seeming to have empathy/ emotional intelligence which is one of the non negotiables Im looking for.

@Pepsimaxedout that all sounds amazing especially as he has already text.
I think some guys do text a lot (Mr S has already text me this morning to say he enjoyed chatting last night and to have a lovely day) the last guy I was texting/chatting/been on 3 dates with did this too and then got cold feet about getting into a relationship so I am determined not to get invested this time so soon...as last time it really messed with my head!

Pepsimaxedout Lovely update, really happy for you

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to keep the interest going with my new one, there's just a few niggles about how compatible we are. He did send me another photo last night & he looks lovely on that one.

I think, when there's Doubts about how much you have in common, then you just need to meet & have an actual conversation, see if there's anything 'there', don't you.

Anyway, as has usually happens, I've now got a Second chat going. The first one is out all day today, & doesn't have Bumble on his phone, so will see how it goes with this new one.

@Pepsimaxedout great to hear about your successful date. I love hearing positive stories, as it gives the rest of us hope of fun dates etc. Mixed in with all the bullshit men there are nice genuine guys. Xxx