Dating thread 246 - Spring Dating

[SamW98]

Continued from 245….

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@blacksocks33 I totally get it, I am freaking out because I was chatting away with my friend/potential crush and he’s disappeared - Im sure he’s getting ready for work tomorrow which I know will be busy but I’m still like ‘huh? Why haven’t you replied?’ to myself

@Bestlife18 I read that article, thanks for posting. I agree, it's not good that dating has been gamified. It's also, if you are successful at online dating, they (people who control these apps) lose a customer so it's in their interest to make the whole online dating process tiring and miserable and then you're basically paying for hurdles of that particular app to be removed.

@blacksocks33 brilliant news!! I'm terrible for remembering that others aren't always as keen on messaging or don't place as much importance on messaging as we maybe do.

Enjoy the next date :)

Aw fantastic! At least going forward now you know he's not going to text much on a Sunday. So manage expectations if next date is on Saturday.

@blacksocks33 Totally understandable, it's very confusing and Sundays are very weird at times so it's normal to get antsy a bit

Yay that's brilliant @blacksocks33 😊

Gah! That stupid Bumble distance thingy has tripped me up again. Started chatting to one who was (1) mile away yesterday, today it turns out that he was just visiting & now he's 'home' (200 miles away) Grrr.

blacksocks33 I'm glad you heard from him

Oh that's annoying, 200 miles is around 140 miles too far for me! I've set it at 60 mile radius but even that seems too far but necessary to widen the potential pool! Yesterday I got an invitation on match from someone visiting from Italy for a couple of days, asking if I would like to meet 'us' 🙄
Not sure if he meant meet up or it was him and his pal or his wife. Absolutely nothing on my profile to indicate I'm just looking for a hook up.

I'm back to branching out, I'm not sure I'm ever going to actually meet the one I've been chatting to the last couple of weeks.

I sent a couple of messages this morning but one is quite far away and the other looks like he hasn't slept for weeks although to be fair at least it would mean I wouldn't be worrying about my aging eyes 😆

If he hasn't slept in weeks maybe he's an agent for the MI5, you never know @Mckittens 😁

Mckittens I've got my distance set at 40 miles & that's plenty for me tbh.
I need to just ask everybody 'Where are you actually based?' Straight away, because this is happening to me a lot.

I recon your tired looking one has been staying awake at nights waiting for women to message him back, constantly refreshing the App... 'Why isn't she answering me?!'

Hi @NervesOfCotton yes I've started asking the distance question too, and also not swiping right if I can't see their living location. Although I think it also doesn't show location when the profile is on pause, is that correct?

@TobyEsterhase How have things been with you and your colleague? Any progress?

Chocolatefreak Oh I don't know about the paused location. Bumble distances just confuse me in general, I'm easily confused though

Currently in the process of being stood up. We had set a date and time, he didn't reply when I tried to confirm earlier today but it's around the corner from my office so I thought I'd come anyway as we've only messaged on the app and he might not have looked.

But I don't see him, and still no reply...

Oh no! How long are you giving it?

I gave it 15 minutes. If he was intending on coming and either was waiting and couldn't see me or was late you would surely message?

Anyway, I wasn't especially looking forward to it after the bad date yesterday. I'm going to take a break after I meet Thursday Man.

@friendswiththemonstera 15 minutes is perfect, if he's not there in 15, give yourself permission to take off

I'm long gone! I think he just forgot, which I do get because we set it up a week ago and haven't spoken a lot since. Still rude though.

@friendswiththemonstera something might have happened, like his phone broke or something (happened to me recently). If not then that's disappointing - but at least you didn't waste time getting there.

Even if his phone broke, we set a day, time and place, so he could have turned up - i think he completely forgot or couldn't be bothered. To be honest, I've been most looking forward to Thursday anyway, and I'm fairly certain he won't stand me up as he seems pretty consistent and interested so far.

I'm thinking about my ex though, who was terrified I would turn up, see him and leave 😂pretty sure that isn't what happened...

Not secured a date yet but have exchanged a few messages - though it has been radio silence for a few days. Sent her flowers which should arrive tomorrow so will message her then. She is now an ex colleague and has a lot on her plate - single parent and her mother has just had cancer diagnosis.

Going to be patient as has been a long long time since I met anyone with whom I felt a real spark with and have given up on the apps as it dawned on me just how much of my life I have spent swiping.

Argh that’s so annoying! What is wrong with people?! A lady I know has been stood up 5 times and they were fairly significant distance dates as well - so damn rude.

That's incredibly rude. I'd be furious. I was not really expecting him to turn up after he didn't reply - if it hadn't been round the corner I wouldn't have gone.

It seems to be a new trend. Arrange a date and then ghost and not show up. So bloody weird.