Are there any men looking for commitment?

[Oldsucks]

I’ve been online dating for a long time. And all I keep coming across are men wanting casual or not sure. I’m dating mostly men in their late 30s and 40s. I’m 38.

I’ve been on a few dates with a 39 year old man, who is about to turn 40, and he just announced he’s actually not sure he has time for a relationship.

I’ve heard this so many times. And years on, the same men keep appearing on the dating apps.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

and what about these men - do they stay single forever?? Don’t they ever get lonely and actually want a girlfriend?

If a 40 yo man is single it's because he wants to be single.

Codswallop. Would you say the same about a woman? People are single at all ages for many, many reasons. Sometimes by choice and sometimes not.

@Carebearsonmybed Or, he hasn't found someone who wants to date him or have a relationship. Which is far more likely.

I suspect few men than women want commitment and as a result of this imbalance the majority of men who do want committed, like long relationships are paired up early (late teens to mid 20s) and they then largely stay with their wives or girlfriends forever. If you aren’t lucky enough to connect with one of these commitment minded men when you are young then you’re left with the avoident types, the serial monogamists, the Peter pans, the cheaters and the addicts of various kinds.

Not saying it’s impossible to find the odd guy looking for commitment but pickings are very slim indeed.

This can be particularly true of some jobs. Where I worked in my younger days the main workforce were male and most office staff female. The result was the girls basically had the pick and often chose the fun guys down the disco and pub (often hoping they'd change and settle down).

There were a lot of young men who didn't marry simply because they didn't meet women. That was just the way it was.

@BigFatLiar That sounds about right, and it would explain why passive and agreeable men are almost always single, whereas it's the aggressive, controlling, and dominating men who always make the approach on women.