I’m beyond angry. Just a rant.

[Ihavenamechanged987]

Not sure if relationships is exactly the right place for this but I’m reeling. How could anybody believe this is acceptable!

So guy I’ve known for years and would have said was a friend, albeit one I don’t see often. Both of us have had a rough month so arranged to meet him for drinks tonight with a few other people, strictly platonic. He was aware of this… or so I thought.

Texting earlier to arrange meeting time place etc and he starts to get a bit flirty. I clarify that this is just friends having a drink and a laugh together and nothing else and he agrees but then starts to push it again. Anyway I’ve attached the texts below because I’m speechless and angry.

The gist of the last message which is cut off is him asking if I’m still going! Funnily enough the answer was no with a side of me telling him he’s creepy and rapey. I’ve blocked and will never speak to him again but I’m so angry.

🤣

You REALLY don’t get how it feels to be pursued, harassed and verbally abused by a wheedling creepy man, do you? 🤔

Ugh. And it sounds from his last message as though he has 'form' for this sort of thing. At best, he's a naggy creep; at worst, he could be truly dangerous. Block him.

Given how he has reacted to being rejected by text, it’s scary to think what he’d have done if you’d met up with him.

This all reminds me of experiences I used to have when I was young and naive. Men insisting they just wanted a hug, or a coffee, or a chat or whatever. Promising they wouldn’t try and have sex with me. And then invariably trying to have sex with me, and getting irritated because I’d apparently given them mixed messages!! I remember thinking that I’d have to shout “fuck off and leave me alone” at the very first meeting for them to get the message, and even then they’d probably think I was only joking.

I remember being in a pub with friends, and a man asked if he could buy me a drink. I said thank you for the offer, but I was with my friends, not interested in meeting new people, and it therefore wouldn’t be fair to take his money. He insisted he just wanted to buy me a drink and then he’d leave me alone. I said no, he begged, I said no, he begged etc etc until I said OK, I’ll have a Diet Coke, but that’s it, I’m not talking to you. He bought me a Diet Coke. I said thank you, and turned back to my friends, and he got really arsey, said I was rude and ungrateful!!! Ffs.

I too see him as flabby and pallid.
Many years ago my friend had a boyfriend she met in Time Out a London listings magazine.
He lived in Notting Hill.
He thought he was very hip- and he wanted to have ''cuddles'' with him, her and me- revolting ...he ''hhhmmmmm'd' 'as he cuddled my friend in front of me- he too was pallid and just wandering handsy.

Thank goodness you won't have to navigate his awful spelling and grammar now you have blocked! 🤣

Definitely a good shout there. He seems unhinged.

Creep de la creep

@Ihavenamechanged987 does he know where you live?
He sounds creepy as fuck.

Definitely. It's harassment and stalking.

Three hours travel to meet up?

Once you’ve told someone to not contact you again, further contacting on his part constitutes harassment.
I have logged this sort of thing with the police. I had nasty emails to show them, too. They wanted to go knock on the guy’s door and tell him his next action, they’d be glad to put handcuffs on him and publicly bring him down to the station.
I told them not to go threaten him, but was glad that was an option- these cowards don’t like neighbors seeing police knock on their door.
he WAS told that if he ever bothered me again, there’d be a restraining order on his record. He did not bother me again.

its worth the peace of mind, OP. and logging these things with the police starts a file on him, so if he is ever accused of rape, it won’t just be one woman’s word on her own.

it helps everyone if you flag this dude for his behavior.

he does not sound safe around women.

I knew someone with this attitude. I can't say too much but he was middle-aged and was always coming on to very young women. Some of us tried talking to him, but I was always afraid something would happen. I don't think it did before he moved away, but he got into trouble for other kinds of harassment.

I still believe he was dangerous, and the attitude was identical to the creep this thread is about. It was like trying to talk to a brick wall trying to point out that his behaviour was unacceptable. He'd say people couldn't take a joke and seemed incapable of being embarrassed.

Maybe you shouldn't be sending people creepy offensive messages then if you're worried about them being made public.

Bleugh have been in this position a few times… it’s that awful pit of the stomach feeling where you realise you were never really friends!!! I hope you down a bottlw
of wine have a emotional outburst and get the twat out of your system for good!

Also Cinema Therapy YT channel does a video on nice guy syndrome maybe send it to him.

Ewwww, he is the worst!

He will always be lonely with his rubbish attitude and will always blame women for it.

Sad little incel can't even get a little cuddle!

That would be glorious!

Agree he sounds mentally unstable and by the sounds of things he has behaved like this before with his ex best friend.

It is massively overstepping the mark expecting a platonic relationship to suddenly develop into something else with no basis.

He sounds quite abusive actually.

Bleugh! He must be a loaf short of a picnic if he thinks the way he talks is attractive. I would run for the hills.

Sounds like he'd had a few already and wanted it to.look like you two were together in front of friends.

Pushy and horrible. Well rid.

So this is a guy you know in real life for some years? Not someone you've recently met on line?

Agree.
He sounds like a weirdo op!