DH lying about pension payout

[OITNBfanclub]

Urgh. Sitting here in sad fog ☹️
recently my husband enquired about taking his state pension - he’s 67 and still working but also has another pension with his work and we could do with the money now for a variety of reasons we both have talked through at length and agreed on.
a few letters arrived today, all for him. I asked him over dinner if he’d seen them as they sometimes get missed on our cluttered hall table. I thought he looked a bit funny and he said oh yes, it was just our car tax renewal forms. And super fast changed the subject. My spidey senses tingled but I figured he was just hangry /whatever. I went upstairs to run bath and on the way went to lay out my keys and bag for tomorrow and stuffed into the drawer was a letter still sticking out like it was in a rush which was odd, so I took it out and one very quick glance seems to show it’s his pension, with a £9k payment being made this week and I think £814 every month
from now on. I couldn’t believe it, he clearly opened it, lied to me and shoved it away. Why would he lie to me and not share the good news? is he planning on telling me it’s a smaller amount and keeping some aside for 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️And what do I do now, confront him? Or wait for him to hopefully tell me the truth? I just feel really side hit by it ☹️

Your plan was to share it 100% it might not have been his plan. It's his pension maybe he had his own ideas on how to spend it.
Sorry to say this but some women do have the knack of making decisions "for us" when it's really "for me". Did you really discuss it or just tell him what you wanted to do with his pension

I’m suspicious because of the totally unexpected lie about it this evening, so am now keen to see when / what he tells me. It took us years to regain trust after his alcohol addiction so if he doesn’t come true along lines of above lovely thought of telling me over a nice meal this weekend I know he’s Lying and that for me is a big trust issue and would undo so many years of building it back up (sadly)

We really really did. He came to me to ask about what we should
do, I said I honestly
didn’t know and he researched it all and came back and said we should take the lump sum to get some outstanding house repairs done, and put the monthly payments safely in a savings account to build
up. Great idea I said. I know sometimes I can probably push plans 😂but I definitely didn’t with this one!

If you defer getting your state pension when it’s due you get a lump sum plus interest as the monthly payment has built up.
Op’s dh is 67, he was eligible for state pension from 66 so he has a year owing.
203.85 weekly at current rates for full state pension.

I think now that OP mentioned they have young children then it makes perfect sense that the lump sum be used for practical things around the house. There's no way he can hide this money for any reason, if he has young dependents it's family money as he won't be able to work to provide for them in the future

Why aren’t you asking him tonight? Why wait a week or give him more time to find a hiding place?

This sums up our exact conversations
around it, he wanted to use the lump sum to get the parts of the house that are a bit worn sorted and put the monthly payments into a savings account for the future. All was very mutual and same ideas / thoughts. Hence why I was blindsided when he lied tonight about not even getting the letter and now (seemingly) hiding it. We had guesstimated it at around half
of
what it is so my niggling worry is he’s been taken aback by the greater amount and may be thinking about squirrelling some away (for what I have no idea)

If he asks you why you looked at the letter, you can just say you thought it was the car tax.

@OITNBfanclub GO AND ASK HIM NOW BEFORE HE HAS A CHANCE TO HIDE ANYTHING!!

Surely there is no lump sum with the state pension, only a workplace pension, think you can take a third of workplace pension as a lump sum?

He’ll have to pay tax on it. They’ll adjust his tax code for the ongoing payments but one way or another he’ll have to pay the tax on the backdated payments.

Sorry, just read the updates, regarding deferring the state pension, ignore last post.

I would have asked him straight out, but I am like that. I would have said "Have you heard from the pension people" and if he lied, produce the letter.

As it is, I would still ask him and then say that you saw it, where it was and why the hell is he lying to you.

I have to say, I thought similar to this. By all means sleep on it, but please don't wait a week @OITNBfanclub. Not only does that give him a chance to spend a thwack of it (if thats what hes planning) but it will eat you up thinking about it too. You know already he's lied to you about the letter arriving - plus he's since moved it, also without a word, so he cannot have been mistaken/not looked at it yet 😔

Blimey! I didn’t see that twist coming

I didn't see the twist coming either.

I’m amazed that some people are saying maybe he wants to spend it on himself or something of his own choosing, and why shouldn’t he because it’s his money. That isn’t the point, the point is that he’s lying to his wife, and hiding the evidence.
If he just changed his mind about how to spend the money he should just tell her.

I don't get why you haven't just spoken to him about it.

I'd have just said the way he said it was car taxed seemed odd, you checked and lo and behold it was the pension, so what's going on?

There's no need for a big drama.

Lol well, that makes sense then!

https://www.gov.uk/deferring-state-pension/what-you-get

Crikey! How did you work that out!! X

such a weird comment @SecondUsername4me
I have 3 children, 2 biologically with my husband 🤷‍♀️my eldest and youngest have SEN? And I was a single parent to my eldest for 3 years? little creeped out by you trying
to “cross reference” me 😵‍💫not helpful to this thread and if you’re worried about becoming “emotionally involved” please just don’t get involved!