DH lying about pension payout

[OITNBfanclub]

Urgh. Sitting here in sad fog ☹️
recently my husband enquired about taking his state pension - he’s 67 and still working but also has another pension with his work and we could do with the money now for a variety of reasons we both have talked through at length and agreed on.
a few letters arrived today, all for him. I asked him over dinner if he’d seen them as they sometimes get missed on our cluttered hall table. I thought he looked a bit funny and he said oh yes, it was just our car tax renewal forms. And super fast changed the subject. My spidey senses tingled but I figured he was just hangry /whatever. I went upstairs to run bath and on the way went to lay out my keys and bag for tomorrow and stuffed into the drawer was a letter still sticking out like it was in a rush which was odd, so I took it out and one very quick glance seems to show it’s his pension, with a £9k payment being made this week and I think £814 every month
from now on. I couldn’t believe it, he clearly opened it, lied to me and shoved it away. Why would he lie to me and not share the good news? is he planning on telling me it’s a smaller amount and keeping some aside for 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️And what do I do now, confront him? Or wait for him to hopefully tell me the truth? I just feel really side hit by it ☹️

Why would he give an ex-wife money?

How long have u been together, has there ever been money issues arise, is he frugal etc

If he doesn't mention it soon, then you will have to. It can be done in one of two ways, in my opinion:

1. I saw that letter about the pension. WTF didn't you tell me straight away? What's the big secret, huh? Secret second family, have you? Planning on a big golf trip without me were you?

2. Saw that letter had come, great news its more than we thought/had planned for. Let's go carpet shopping at the weekend. I've booked in the boiler fitting for next month and Safestyle are coming Thursday to quote for the windows

Only you can know which of these will elicit a positive response from your fella

So I am medically retired early. YOU CAN ONLY TAKE A LUMP SUM ON PRIVATE PENSIONS OR WORK RELATED NOT THE STATE ONE.
Or everyone would be doing it and the state be in a mess. Not that is isn't.

But I'd certainly simply say. So you have the pension. Are the plans as discussed or would you prefer to do something different.

Also could he be drinking again. Or owe money from drinking days or changed from drinking to gambling which can happen.

@OITNBfanclub i know this isn’t the point of your thread, but just to make sure that you know state pension is taxable so there will be tax to pay on that lump sum. One of my clients is exactly the same - still working and just got c£9k back payment and will be now getting c£800 every four weeks. He will receive a tax bill for the full amount of state pension received in 23/24 as his tax free allowance will have already been used up against his employment income
So if he spends it all he may get a shock when he receives a tax bill for either 20% of it or 40% of it depending on whether he’s in basic or higher tax band

next tax year 24/25 hmrc will reduce his tax allowance allocated to his paid employment from the start of the tax year - so he can receive state pension with no tax - but his net pay on his employed income will go down slightly to take account of the extra tax

i hope that’s clear but let me know if not - I’m an accountant so I do understand it but may not be explaining it well…

He's probably changed his mind about spending it all on the house now it's almost in his hands. It's a lot of money and he probably wants to buy himself some new golf clubs or whatever men like to buy themselves these days.

You may say there's nothing left over for treats but that's probably why he hasn't told you about it yet - he knows it'll be whipped away.

He should be an adult and discuss it with you of course - " I'd like to keep x amount to spend on x". But some men aren't able to have those types of conversations unfortunately.

That page is about the state pension and it says that if you defer your state pension past normal retirement age, you can opt to take a lump sum. Several PPs have said the same. IIRC OP’s husband is already working past his normal retirement age, so this would apply to him.
You retired early, so that wouldn’t have applied to you.

Could it be that's he's worried you'll want to start spending it straight away on house jobs, whereas he's a more cautious saver type?

@PeacefulLiving1967

So I am medically retired early. YOU CAN ONLY TAKE A LUMP SUM ON PRIVATE PENSIONS OR WORK RELATED NOT THE STATE ONE. Or everyone would be doing it and the state be in a mess. Not that is isn't.

Yes you can take a lump sum in the state pension.

www.gov.uk/deferring-state-pension/what-you-get

Lump sum payment
You can get a one-off lump sum payment if you defer claiming your State Pension for at least 12 months in a row. This will include interest of 2% above the Bank of England base rate.

I hate threads like this.

You're married, just fucking ask him straight out instead of tying yourself in bloody knots.

If he deferred his state pension for a year, it says he would receive an extra £11.x pence per week, when he starts to claim his state pension

However, if he is still working
The extra £11 may get taken away in tax

Therefore, it may not be worth him working
Perhaps this is the dilemma

I'm so sorry you've been given all this stress. I hope he comes clean.

There's no need to shout at us, and........... you're wrong! As plenty of other people in this thread have already said.

That’s for people who reached state pension age before 2016 - the rules have changed.

I likely will have to, and he was his choice to start a young family in his 60’s thus losing an early retirement in favour of being an older dad 🤷‍♀️

Several posters have mentioned the tax implications. OP, when you and your husband discussed his applying for the state pension, is that something you took into consideration, especially in relation to the lump sum?

If you didn't, perhaps the letter from the DWP mentioned tax and it's taken him aback. He might not be sure how to calculate exactly what he'll receive after tax, so wants to discuss this with a financially savvy friend/colleague before breaking it to you that the net pension income and lump sum will be less than you'd both been expecting. Maybe he's worried about disappointing you.

Best wishes, OP

You say that now, but you do not know how you will feel when he actually is so much older that it affects your daily life.

Oh, I hope you get to the bottom of this OP. I'd say tackle it sooner rather than later. You'll have to confess you looked but honesty is the best policy here. Hope it works out for you.

Deciding to have children when your sixty is already incredibly short sided decision making. It's the kind of selfish instant gratification type decision that bites you in the butt later. He probably saw the realty of the money and is struggling to accept the excessively laborious life he signed up for. He decided to raise children till he's literally dead. He has to work until he literally can't anymore. There will be zero retirement. How can you even enjoy kids when your working full time at that age? He must be exhausted constantly.

Agree, what a miserable existence. OP I hope you enjoy wiping arse.

@LemonTurtle

'Deciding to have children when your sixty is already incredibly short sided decision making. It's the kind of selfish instant gratification type decision that bites you in the butt later. He probably saw the realty of the money and is struggling to accept the excessively laborious life he signed up for. He decided to raise children till he's literally dead. He has to work until he literally can't anymore. There will be zero retirement. How can you even enjoy kids when your working full time at that age? He must be exhausted constantly.'

This!

Having kids in your 60s is frankly mad unless you are a wealthy individual and therefore no longer need to work.

I think the OP as well should accept that she will have to contribute financially and even become the main bread winner because there is no guarantee that he will be able to carry on working for long.

Maybe this is why he is freaking out and does not want to squander that lump sum and has some thinking to do before discussing matters with the OP...

He is your husband. Talk to him about it tonight 'When I was getting my things ready for work last night I saw the letter about your pension, can we talk about it?'

I think I'd wait for another few days an see if he lies to u about the amount ,,, then I'd be wondering what else he's been lying about,, sorry Ur having to worry about this, out of interest how long have U been together/married an do u have children/grandchildren together??

Oh OP, I really feel for you. I hope it works out OK but it's not looking good is it 😟