Husband says he's 'relieved' when we have a ready meal instead of me cooking

[Coralinea]

My husband and I sometimes cook from scratch, and sometimes have a ready meal (for the oven, such as a fish pie).

I've always really liked cooking. If we cook anything from scratch, it's normally me who cooks, and we normally eat a bit later (closer to 8pm than 7pm) because of the prep. I like making things like curries and pasta bakes, and I experiment with new things.

The other day, my husband said he feels 'relieved' when we have a ready meal, because we eat earlier and there's no clanking around of pans and extra washing up (though we have a big dishwasher that does most of this).

AIBU to feel really annoyed he said this, and to feel like I just don't want to cook for him anymore? I feel like if it's not ready before 7.30, then he's annoyed it's 'late' and would prefer a ready meal.

Definitely is true. It annoys the hell out of me and DH as we don't eat early at home and definitely don't want to if we eat out.

Some restaurants stay open later but not many and they are only till 9.30 maybe 10. Indian restaurants are open quite late but as they are all pretty awful here we don't really bother.

We say it's like going back in time living here

your reply is a bit mad, tbh. You present your opinion as a definite fact, despite going straight on to acknowledge that not only have other people on the thread said something else, you know several people in your own family who think completely differently! Comes across so arrogant 'I know there are idiots who think the sky is blue but it's grey.'

If you go to bed at 9 because you need to wake up at 5, and haven't eaten since lunch at 12 then it's perfectly fine to consider not starting to eat until 8 is late. And the opinion of someone who thinks this is as valid as yours. Neither is wrong.

Just say 'I think eating between 7.30-8 is normal' ffs.

Although it's still irrelevant because it doesn't matter what anyone on MN wants to eat, the thread is about OP's DH and if he wants to eat earlier and is prepared to facilitate it (i.e. happy to have ready meals over presumably nicer and tastier home cooked meals) then he's an adult man, it's a decision he's entitled to make, no reason for OP to feel so personally insulted by it.

Although I don't understand why it has to me such an extreme metric - complicated home cooked meals OR ready meals with nothing in between. There are lots of alternatives - cook a nice meal on sunday, something like a casserole that actually tastes better the next day and have that on Monday. Put something in the slow cooker so it's ready as soon as you're home. Have easy/fast 'home cooked' meals like steamed fish with veg, veggie/home made meat burgers (10 mins in the air fryer), salads with cold protein, toasties and soup, etc. There are thousands of "15 mins or less" recipes out there. Batch cook.

Only on Mumsnet could a thread about cooking turn into a bun fight 🤣

in england no it really isn't normal. 6 is normal.

I'm in bed by 10 so wouldn't want to eat and clean up at 8.

op what time do you finish work??

rarrr

I'm in bed with a brew and my book by 8pm most nights

But @Starspangledrodeopony isn’t hungry by 5, so neither should any of her friends be. It makes her feel sick! 😂

This made me lol. Thankyou !

It's quite an interesting bun fight and we're all being relatively polite 🙂

The question might be - do you eat your buns after 8pm and call them croissants 🤗

I know no one who eats between 7:30 to 8:30. No one.

Everyone l know (incl me) eats around 6 to 6:30.

Some of us are still working at 6!

Do you know the time everyone you know eats? Is it a regular conversation?

Most people I know wouldn't even be home till 6-6.30?

I would try cooking today for tomorrow night. Things like Fish pie and cottage pie always taste nicer the next day, imo.
Or do a couple of batch dishes and freeze.

Also do people eat at the same time everyday?

This thread has genuinely blown my mind that people consider 7.30 to be a late dinner time. And that people are so insistent on this fact? I know people with DC eating at 6pm but I assumed this was for DC. I assumed adults eat dinner from about 6.30 till about 9pm depending on their lifestyle.

It is a class thing, to a great extent. Anyone read Scoff: a history of food and class in Britain by Pen Vogler? She has several chapters on the varying times / names of meals and how they have changed over time. In short, the lower classes eat when they are hungry, and they often are a lot more hungry due to the physical nature of their work. Plus they didn’t used to have electric lights so had to eat early when it was still light. The middle classes were always aiming to distinguish themselves from the lower classes and to ape the upper classes, so would copy them as best they could. And the upper classes actively chose mealtimes that demonstrated to everyone they had didn’t have to cook for themselves (had servants), didn’t do manual work (so weren’t as hungry), didn’t have to be up early (so could eat later) and had access to things like interior lights, modern kitchens etc.

It’s a really interesting book.

well. you assumed wrong

Yeah, it has been a regular conversation in the past.

Most people l know get home about 5:30 to 6

Yes that's what I am saying ffs

and im making a lighthearted fun of this assumption :D

honestly, why would being adult mean eating later?

I don't think that's too late to eat, especially for adults.

We tend to eat at 7 and that's with a 10 yo.

As for your DH - if he doesn't want to wait, let him chuck his own shitty ready meal in and sort himself out. You can guarantee your dinner will taste better!

Because you go to bed later? And being hungry/routine generally aren't such a big thing? Plus you get home from work later

it would be relevant, but even my granda does not remember times when there was no electricity outside of wartime blackout, nor does she remember times of middle class people having servants. we don't live in victorian era and even very middle class people get hungry after only having had light lunch hours before

Surely this proves there is no blanket "normal" time. Anything from 5-9pm could be normal depending on family, work and other circumstances. I've not done dinner at 6pm since I was a SAHM with primary age kids. But I know other people regularly eat at that time.
7pm feels early to me, 8pm would be too late for others.

I actually have no idea what time most people I know eat, and if we have had conversations about it it's not a detail I would remember tbh.

You genuinely don't know anyone who finishes work at 6pm?

you don't get hungry as an adults? me and my bathroom scales would like to know more about that one! :D

honestly though, even before I worked from home and within walking distance to my kitchen I would have normally ate by 6 at the latest

I understand people sometimes have long commute and unsociable working hours, but that's having long commute and unsociable working hours, not just being an adult.

Some people work nights and eat their breakfast at 2pm - I'd give them a side eye if they tried to convince me that's the "normal" time