So fed up of dating

[voostomatic]

Beyond fed up with dating and the endless struggle to find anyone remotely compatible.

Doesn't matter what I do dating just never works and find the whole process a complete waste of time and energy.

I have to stay I don't find being single difficult and prefer it because it means life is more enjoyable.

I have never enjoyed the ups and downs of dating and I don't think at age 41 I ever will.
I have had short term relationships but they weren't right for me.

I just want to throw in the towel and just give up.

I really don't think I will ever meet anyone now and I do think you have to reach a point and say dating isn't for you and just doesn't work.

I spent my 30s looking for a relationship and what a complete fucking waste of time it was. I mean even if you did find someone the likelihood of it lasting in today's shitty society is zilch.

Dating, What a load of fucking old shit 😭

Totally agree with you

@effoffwind Thanks for validating my thoughts and that I'm not imagining how shitty 'dating' is.

It's soul destroying, I gave up a long time ago as I was tired of making the effort with men who all seemed to have - emotional baggage , "crazy ex's " , love bombed me, or gas lit me

I'm happy on my own and don't miss the drama at all

@effoffwind That's exactly what dating is drama. Haven't the energy for it either. All that effort could be spent bettering yourself than searching for some useless bloke.

I feel your pain! I am early 40s and have been single for a long time bar a few short term relationships over the past couple of years. I gave up for a couple of years in my late 30s but now that all my friends in their 40s met their significant other over the past few years I have decided to try again. So I keep trying to expand my social circle and meet people. So I keep trying but I am not focused on it 100% - I just try to meet new people out and about, go to networking events, events at work, and pretty much any social event I can find.

Majority of men are disgusting.

Don’t bother if you don’t like it. I agree though. Let’s face it, most decent men by 40 have long since been snapped up.

@Guavafish1 Indeed they are!

@Buuty No I don't like it. I think the notion you have to do things you don't like to meet a man is bloody stupid. Id rather pull my nails out one by one than use apps ever again.

@occhiazzurri I think your approach is better than using apps.

Of course they are. 🙄 With that attitude you'll never meet anyone decent - what you attract depends on what you project. If all the men you meet are disgusting that says just as much about you as it does them.

OP as you prefer being single why are you even bothering to waste your time with dating? Just do what you makes you happy.

I actually think the majority of men on dating apps are disgusting.

I started screenshotting some of the prompts because it’s literally laughable. If you don’t laugh, you’ll just cry.

I’m also giving up now, I’m not even sad about it. If I meet someone I’ll meet someone. Not desperate for kids so why does it matter. I feel you OP. It’s not just you who has noticed this.

@PinkLemonade555 I think the apps are a waste ground. So many married men on them and wouldn't trust anything that was written in the bio. I go by actions of people, words mean bugger all to me. I mean anyone can say they are looking for a relationship but whether they mean is another thing!

@altmember I won't waste my time anymore with it. If I meet someone I do or don't. No longer care.

I totally F——king agree with you and yes it’s time to not care or dwell. If it happens it happens

It’s actually quite freeing when you get to that place because noone has anything over you. My standards and self esteem generally for everything, have shot way up. I just felt so unsure of myself before thinking I had to compromise, or change my expectations and then I was like. Why?

I make my own money, don’t really want kids, and someone founded Lelo so seriously, why? In times gone by it might have been for the emotional support or intimacy… but I haven’t found anyone capable of offering that anyway. Or anything, particularly that’s worth giving my time and energy for.

I’m just going to get a really cute dog as soon as I can and just live my life. What will be will be.

Dating apps for me were a complete waste of time: married men, men with major issues with alcohol, immature men, porn-obsessed men, lazy and selfish men, men only looking for casual sex or open relationships, bad sex, abusive men...

Frankly I think that it might be worth it if you are in your 20s but as you get older is a pointless exercise: most of the decent men are already settled and the ones of the apps have major issues.

Plus the process of having endless dates to try to find someone who isn't a complete waste of time is really boring and ends up feeling like a series of job interviews.

Much happier now that I no longer have anything to do with online dating.

I agree and I could never put myself through it again. I'll be remaining single permanently and I've long since made my peace with that. I'm 40 in a few months.

Exactly. Dating should be fun! The other thing I’ve noticed is how bloody angry they are at women. The hate is like, palpable.

@PleaseBeHappier you can't say for certain that you will be single permanently but even if you are it doesn't matter really does it. I think society makes single people feel they have 'failed' if they aren't partnered. Fuck patriarcy 😭

@Startingagainandagain Oh the endless 'Hi how are you'? Gets on my bloody tits. I got so fed up once when a man asked that I said 'My heads hanging off' and then h unmatched me 😭 Obviously had no sense of humour.

The stats constantly show that single women are the happiest group! Then married men…

it’s not a failure at all. Far greater a failure to be with the wrong person. So many people find themselves trapped in lonely and loveless relationships and that’s just hell to me. I escaped an abusive marriage. I’d take being alone any day.

It’s either a deep, meaningful love for me or nothing at all.

@PinkLemonade555 Look at Patricia Routledge 95 never married and she seems happy. Just one person who is relatively famous and didn't conform to some stupid societal norm.

I'm the same I either want full commitment or nothing at all. I don't do friends with benefits or lets see where things bollocks. And I say it how it is and don't give a flying fuck what people think anymore 😭 If you don't like me well fuck ya😭

I’ve said it for months. There is something really really wrong with the current het online dating scene.

I take responsibility for being on apps with a bad rep for those casual sex seekers (looking at you, tinder), but as someone else said up thread, the misogyny and bitterness is radiating from a scary number of men on these apps.

I would rather gouge my eyes out than receive a millionth ‘hey how are you’ message. Or men who want ‘no drama’ and specify their physical preferences in their bios as if they’re internet shopping for a blow-up doll. Or men aged 30+ who say they’re ‘figuring it out’ which IME translates into ‘I want to have sex with you but make zero effort whatsoever’. And don’t even get me started on people lying about their age, those who are apparently involved in ENM/open relationships (how mate? You look like you have the personality of a wet mop.)

I don’t accept coffee dates which gets me unmatched from 90% of men on tinder. Apparently you have to offer your body AND be willing to deliver cheap (literally) entertainment beforehand. In the past 24 hours I’ve been referred to as a c**t because I challenged a 35-year-old guy who opened his message to me saying he just wanted ‘some fun’. Really charming that he’s looked at my photos and bio and determined that he’d like to grace me with his c0ck but absolutely nothing else.

annnnnd breathe.

my life is more peaceful without the apps. I’m less angry. I’m less standard shamed. But I’m really sad that dating is like this for us, OP and I’m standing in solidarity. apologies for derailing your thread, but boy did that feel good! 😂

I would love a bit of love and Romance in my life, but a) I can go without and b) I need to accept this won’t come via an app that a man can use whilst taking a dump.

These experiences are teaching me that my solitude, health and financial security is actually 10x better than dealing with these types. And yes, I’m sure there are some nice ones out there but I’m not bl0ody matching with them, so that argument doesn’t wash!

Women going their own way. I don't blame you.