Stories of stingiest first dates

[frtedsbed]

Just comparing experiences here at a friends ... jaw dropping stuff!

Mine asked me to transfer money for a coffee and cake after our first date which was a walk and feeding the ducks.
I thought we were going for lunch ... that was the original invite.
Another asked me to transfer money to r a takeaway having offered to pay for my child and I , as he stayed at mine every weekend. Both ended there and then !

@HandsomeGreige

I think your comment is quite naive. You're saying a financial contribution demonstrates willingness to support a woman and child(ren) in the future.

Many men aren't in it for a relationship. They're in it for sex. Paying more, and 'showing off wealth', is simply (as another poster put it) peacocking. In many cases, I'd argue it is simply a sign of desperation. More money spent = more impressive = more likelihood to see you again = more chance of sex. It's like the attitude that men who pay for dating apps are 'more serious'.

A women crossing her arms when the bill comes doesn't impress a man. It tells him that you're hard work and expect to be taken care of. You're expensive and high-maintenance.

If you want a man to take you seriously, which is the point of a date, right?, instead of showing him you're demanding and that you 'deserve' this effort (when you have done nothing SO FAR to justify it), how about demonstrating your willingness to take care of him too?- demonstrating an equality, that in a good relationship, is critical.

I just don’t get it. I was dating back in the dinosaur days, always split the bill, with every bf.

This thread is a rollercoaster

😂😂, can’t go far wrong with a lovely Liebfraumilch

Not a comment on a stingy first date, but it does always make me laugh at the expense and effort that women usually go through compared to a man.
My friend had a guy come round for dinner a few dates in. She'd spent £150 on food, drink, a wax, nails, and had spent FIVE HOURS getting herself and the house ready.
He rocked up straight from work in his grubby clothes and asked to use her shower.

Slightly different efforts levels
(It goes without saying that NAMALT)

The guy who tried to get away with paying for two children's cinema tickets for us. I was 16 and he was 24!

^^

Wrong on so many levels

😅😅

I think it was more that he only had a poppadom. Just the one. I couldn't enjoy my night out with him sitting there nibbling at his single poppadom.

This is a good post

Specifically which 50:50 crap do you not believe in ? Housework ? Childcare ? Cooking ? or just money ? FFS

I have to say waxing / shaving / nails and all that guff would not do anything for my ds. He defends anyone’s right to look how they want, ( before someone says women do all this shit for themselves and not men ) but would rather spend an evening with someone kind and funny, unshaved pits, untidy flat and all.
Edited to say he spends fucking ages getting ready for a date 😆

POF date about a decade ago - we agreed on drinks & dinner so I suggested a cheapish bar near me (about 5 mins for me 10 for him) that did tapas, burgers, wraps, that kind of thing. He insisted on a much fancier place round the corner from him so I said okay great, happy to pay for my own. I get there and he’s sat down at a table in the bar and after about 5 minutes chatting I asked if he was getting anything, he said ‘yeah I will if you are’ so off I go to the bar and get 2 drinks. Time passes and there’s a bar menu in front of us so I say I’m getting pretty hungry, he says that he’s not actually cause he ate before he came out. My bus isn’t due for a bit so I get another drink and olives - he helped himself to some olives, I was too shocked to say anything. He offered me a lift home and asked if I minded if he went to KFC on the way back cause he was starving, would I like a small popcorn chicken 😅

I'm wondering what people who think men should pay for the first date, think of my first date with a guy. We went to Nando's. My suggestion, because I'm NHS and they were doing an NHS discount. We sat at a table, then I went up to order (had to, to claim the discount) and paid the whole bill. When we'd finished he did ask if I wanted him to get the bill, and I told him I'd paid when I ordered. I don't think he offered me half, but it was less than £20 so I'd have refused anyway.

I ended up seeing him for about 8 months. He did pay on other occasions, we were quite good at taking turns.

Nice enough chap (part of a circle of friends) and I enjoyed his company, but in the few months we went out, not once did he pay for me and we'd always split the bill equally, even when out with other couples where the chaps did pay on occasions for their partners (we were young and the men all earned a fair bit more than we did), but he never did and so there were times when I just didn't go out, as couldn't afford to, so he went out in the group without me (I didn't know this till later). Breaking point was him running his car on fumes (I also did my share of driving, in my car) and on this last date, the car ran out of fuel when driving me home. He gave me the can to take to the petrol station and fill up, saying could I fill it right up, as he'd run me home a few times, so I should pay for the fuel he'd used. I kicked the can down the street, told him to take a long run off a short pier (might have been ruder than that, but you get the gist) and walked the four miles home. He rung me the next night and asked if he'd been dumped, he had!

This thread is outrageous. The slagging men off for not paying for them when the posters didn’t even want to pay for themselves. Like if the man is tight in that scenario what’s the woman, it doesn’t get any stingier or tighter than not even 3anting to pay for your own.

Rubber doesn't split : it perishes.

My very gorgeous uni boyfriend ' forgot' his wallet on our date at expensive steak restaurant in Bath. I am vegetarian. Paid for our food, mine was a lot cheaper as was salad! He said he would come to mine to cook his speciality meal to make up for it. He came with a 15p tin of Sainsburys economy potatoes which he shoved some of my curry powder in and presented his 'bombay potatoes.' Then phoned up his ex girlfriend upstairs secretly.

Wow. That’s some supreme effort she put in. 😱

This is insane!

I would have bought my own drink. I don’t expect them to pay but if they are too tight to even buy themselves a coffee then I’m not interested

It’s shocking , so grubby and grabby, and the man who said about women expecting him to pay was attacked. Why the fuck should a man pay when you don’t know each other and it’s an early date you both agreed to go on.

what are people thinking , that their mere presence needs to be paid for.

This is a good approach.

Going off your comments, indeed you are.

Bless. You think we wake up every morning hairless apart from long blow-dried locks on our head, fully made up and polished and that our clothes and houses clean themselves and our kitchens and wine racks stack themselves overnight, for free?

What on earth are you on about?

Poster appears to be surprised at the amount of time effort and money involved in preparing to host a dinner date.