Stories of stingiest first dates

[frtedsbed]

Just comparing experiences here at a friends ... jaw dropping stuff!

Mine asked me to transfer money for a coffee and cake after our first date which was a walk and feeding the ducks.
I thought we were going for lunch ... that was the original invite.
Another asked me to transfer money to r a takeaway having offered to pay for my child and I , as he stayed at mine every weekend. Both ended there and then !

@ineedtogoshoppingnow Amazing, sounds like a Come dine with with me episode 😂

Also reminds me of a guy who fancied me, he was coming my house party and texted me repeatedly saying how he was bringing a special bottle of wine as a gift just for me. Turns out it was Castillo de diablo, which I do think is tasty wine so no shade but was 5.99 on promo...

Edited to add, we were colleagues and I knew he had a good salary, just a funny situation.

I have feeling it's because pages on other platforms keep using posts on here instead of their own content and using them to draw traffic to their own pages. You see pages (not the official MN page) with hundreds of FB replies to anything posted from here, like they're replying to the OP directly. It's quite bizarre.

Why did she pay the whole bill? Why didn't she say that it wasn't her treat, it was his idea to go to the restaurant, so she would pay for her share. Why would anyone would want to treat these greedy cheapos.

Could you identify the posters you think are men? Apart from one, there seem to be a lot of women who feel "equality" (not sure why it needs the inverted commas) is quite important to them. I'm not sure why expressing a different opinion makes you a man.

I am all for equality and paying for my own. However, I am certainly not going for a walk or a bike ride as a first date (FML). Men don't want to go for a walk because they think it will be like a Jane Austin novel when people go strolling around the country gardens or whatever. Nope, they want to see you first before they spend 2.50 on a coffee. Raise the bar ladies and don't except this kind of fuckery.

The ideal first date is something that offers a prompt for conversation - art gallery/historic site/exhibition.

I know this is about stingey but I had to share.
i went for a drink date with someone once off tinder who

1. looked nothing like their photos (heavily filtered)
2. the whole conversation (about an hour!) was about why he and his ex broke up!

I had 2 drinks. Alcoholic, and legged it

@TheFormidableMrsC That's so bizarre, do you know why didn't she just say "actually my share is 85 quid" or whatever?

It’s really dismaying that someone seems to think that if a poster believes in equality they must be male.

I can’t even get my head round that. To be so ingrained in 1950s sexist stereotypes that you can’t even fathom that a woman chooses equality and to pay her way

the utter shame of it.

It’s really dismaying that someone seems to think that if a poster believes in equality they must be male.

It might be, if that were actually what was going on, but all of us, including you, know that it isn't. Dudes aren't coming to Mumsnet, to this discussion via the sex boards, to rage about buying a hypothetical woman a Coke on a first date because they're so concerned about the pay gap, glass ceiling, CMS avoidance or doing 50% of the hoovering and toilet cleaning. Every single person on this thread knows it, don't pretend to be the exception.

Because she's just a decent human and was hugely embarrassed and just wanted to leave. He didn't deserve her. Fortunately she's settled with a lovely chap now.

That doesn't demonstrate being a decent human, really.

Well said.

Men only seem to get so opinionated about ‘equality’ when it benefits them. Isn’t that funny…

sadly, some women have bought into it entirely.

Its silly to think that people “believe in equality” or “don’t believe in equality. “ Its not like the tooth fairy. I believe in it because it can exist in some situations or relationships. But as a poster said upthread a more important value in a dating or romantic relationship might be equity. Or it might be compassion. Or generosity. We don’t all have to agree that strict financial equality of input us the be all and end all of dating behavior.

If anything, women are more likely to accept men taking the piss with the expenses on a date because they don't want to be tarred with the '1950s housewife' brush; plus we are conditioned not to 'make a fuss'. If Mr Mean's card mysteriously doesn't work or the dog has eaten his wallet, often we'll just pay the bill to get out of an unpleasant situation, and we are not going to prolong our interaction with Tighty McTightwad by chasing him up afterwards to pay his share.

Coffee date with a guy. We both standing at the counter and he only ordered his coffee and even didn't look at me. I ordered a tea, which cost £2.80. The most expensive drink on the board was something around £4.00.
I stood up the second he finished the last drop of his coffee, refused his hint of "have a walk and talk more", politely said goodbye and blocked him immediately.
Experience like this heavily dented my confidence as if my time even wasn't worth a cup of tea. I am interested to know if other girls also feel the same way?

I must admit going for a walk isn’t a date imo. It’s just lazy or zero effort.

Im not expecting 5 star or extravagant but a coffee or a couple of drinks is hardly breaking anyone’s bank and sitting in the warm chatting is surely not an unrealistic expectation?

Agreed.

Best is to avoid those dating several times a week.

Pardon? Are you just finding a way to be unkind about my friend?

These threads pop up every few months on here and it is always the same bunfight between the go Dutch crowd and the 'I won't open my purse once but will label someone tight for offering to pay 50%' crowd. There is never going to be agreement but the mental acrobats on display never fail to amuse.

How kind of you to observe nonchalantly and put everyone straight
As you were

People are just confused why you think paying for a stranger's extravagant meal was the only decent thing to do in that situation, no one's making personal attacks.

It's almost like mumsnet is a public forum where anyone can pitch in with nonchalant observations on societal norms currently being discussed.

Public Forum,Yes. Do continue to share your incisive observations with us in that patrionising manner you seem to favour