Stories of stingiest first dates

[frtedsbed]

Just comparing experiences here at a friends ... jaw dropping stuff!

Mine asked me to transfer money for a coffee and cake after our first date which was a walk and feeding the ducks.
I thought we were going for lunch ... that was the original invite.
Another asked me to transfer money to r a takeaway having offered to pay for my child and I , as he stayed at mine every weekend. Both ended there and then !

If you needed them, why would you expect him to buy them?

That's extremely grabby to expect it on the second and third dates also. Wow. Are you putting yourself up for sale or something?!

@LondonWasps i didn’t, cheers. I cba going into this in further detail but it was the pedantry of him going on and on about the cost of plasters that he didn’t even buy. There were other stingy straits displayed. This was one of them.

No. What a rude and vulgar way of looking at the world. Are you bitter because nobody wants to take you on a date?

A guy asked me out to a very expensive steak restaurant, told me to order whatever I wanted and then asked to split the bill at the end.

I was absolutely mortified! Especially as he boasted he was paying on his dad's credit card!

If I'd known he expected me to pay, I wouldn't have agreed to an expensive restaurant.

If a man asks a woman out and then picks the restaurant, damn right he should foot the whole bill!

Sorry, you said he wasn’t prepared to buy them. It sounded as though you’d asked.

The irony of your vulgar comment

@LondonWasps what a bizarre thing to pick up on in the midst of what was - mostly - a lighthearted and enjoyable thread.

anyway, back to the show.

Another one who can't get a man to pay for her.

So did he ask you or did you offer? Makes a difference

Guys aren't competing with women here, you're competing with other guys.

Or being single. Some of them could do with realising that no one is a better choice than a crap man, because we're not that desperate.

I don't get the issue here. Am I missing something?

When I went for the first date with my EXDP and father of my DC m, he asked what I wanted and I said a glass of wine. He said he'd have water as he want used to buying drinks(?)...he then said he'd share my (glass of) wine when he saw my face, then said he'd get a bottle when he saw my face again and he was only joking.

His meanness showed up in every aspect of our 7.5 years together and I should have walked away after that first date lol

*he wasn't used to buying drinks

@stillplentyofjunkinthetrunk is exactly right. Men and women have different strategies in dating because they may have different goals (sex, marriage, companionship etc..) and because each is, at the very least, pursuing their own goals until they decide to be in some kind of relationship of mutuality.

It is ridiculous to critique someone’s behavior in the abstract—or rather to critique women in this thread for judging a male strategy as “stingy” or anything else. We have the right to critique our dates for any reason. We are simply observing that their strategy doesn’t appeal to us.

I’m married but dated a LOT in my twenties. I lived in NY where it’s almost a sport! I honestly couldn’t say how many first dates I had but what I can say is that first impressions count! As women we can tell sooo much about a man by their initial behaviours. Are they generous (if they’re cheap it’s never just money - it’s time, compliments, care, consideration - money is only the tip of the cheap iceberg!)

How did play out on the first date? I think the second date is a very different kettle of fish.

On one second date I paid for the entire dinner at an averagely nice restaurant. He earned more than twice my income. But it doesn't mean much unless it was seen in the context of the first date. He was extremely generous without any strings attached.

Had a first date many years ago. He showed up late. Got pissed on three drinks. Would shout ‘your round’ when I was half way through my drink n he had downed his. I bought dinner as he didn’t bring enough money with him. He borrowed money off me too. Spent the entire time talking about his ex who didn’t want him back (I later found out why, he was full of shit and wasn’t very nice). He kept wandering off to play on the slot machines, and got upset when a couple of people (male) came to talk to me as he kept leaving me alone. He also got upset when I waited in the taxi (that I also paid for) for him to go in and get the money to pay me back what he had borrowed from me. This was over 20 years ago, so we were paid in cash (we worked in the same job). Embarrassingly, I wasted about 2/3 months on this moron before I finally dumped him. Still feel like an idiot just typing it out as well. There were more instances, but that’s for another thread!

@BrightHarvestMoon what is a NAMALT please?

This! It can be quite simple really. But jeepers there are some angry people on this thread.

@Moonlightandroses44

I agree with every word you’ve written and it’s articulated better than I ever could.

I don’t expect to be kept and during relationships I pay for more than my fair share (and do more!). But if a bloke splits the bill or doesn’t pay at all on a FIRST date it’s an immediate bin.

It signals to me either not interested, penny pinching or has so many dates he’s given up trying to impress. I don’t like expensive dates either so it’s not like I’m rinsing anyone for a jolly.

That's quite a reach and very "pick me girl".

There are some very unreconstructed women on this thread.

😂😂😂, must be one really big glass

Sounds like he had head scewed on, buy your own plasters

Another angry man invading and posting nasty comments on women’s forums. Like seriously, why?