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Stories of stingiest first dates

1000 replies

frtedsbed · 29/02/2024 15:02

Just comparing experiences here at a friends ... jaw dropping stuff!

Mine asked me to transfer money for a coffee and cake after our first date which was a walk and feeding the ducks.
I thought we were going for lunch ... that was the original invite.
Another asked me to transfer money to r a takeaway having offered to pay for my child and I , as he stayed at mine every weekend. Both ended there and then !

OP posts:
Britpop123 · 01/03/2024 17:35

Moonlightandroses44 · 01/03/2024 17:26

I think it’s also likely incorrect in @Britpop123 ’s case going by his other posts on other threads.

I find it really weird when men invade women’s spaces and then get pissy at them.

Still not going to get involved in a slanging match…

Sweden99 · 01/03/2024 17:37

@Britpop123, well the point is made. And ideally you would be right and WeekendFreedom certainly agrees. But the point is made and I think we should both stop derailing the thread now.

67Namechange · 01/03/2024 17:38

Went for a day out in a lovely historical city....he walked round with his homemade sandwiches in a plastic carrier bag that he'd done for his lunch. Didn't even make me any and refused to spend any money all day. Didn't have money problems. What a turn off.

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/03/2024 17:51

Janehasamane · 01/03/2024 17:19

What a sexist silly thing to write. I outearn my husband as do many women.

I earn more than my husband too.

Kentucky83 · 01/03/2024 17:53

Invited me out for a meal. Meal turned to drinks in his local, and when I turned up he was there with his mates and already half cut.
Needless to say I never went out with him again.

Fs365 · 01/03/2024 18:01

bradpittsbathwater · 01/03/2024 15:29

Selfish with money, selfish in bed.

And that’s just the women 😂😂

Hoxite274764 · 01/03/2024 18:01

I was really looking forward to reading all of the funny posts about stingy men but now the thread has turned into a huge argument.

Moonlightandroses44 · 01/03/2024 18:01

Hoxite274764 · 01/03/2024 18:01

I was really looking forward to reading all of the funny posts about stingy men but now the thread has turned into a huge argument.

Yep because it’s been taken over by a bunch of incels

Fs365 · 01/03/2024 18:05

EchoChamber · 01/03/2024 16:34

I’m just astonished how many women think a man is there to keep them and isn’t worth dating unless they want to procreate. Whatever happened to feminism?

For some feminism only works when it benefits them, if a man isn’t prepared to keep them they are not interested

I hope my son manages to avoids these awful women who value money above anything else

EchoChamber · 01/03/2024 18:06

Fs365 · 01/03/2024 18:05

For some feminism only works when it benefits them, if a man isn’t prepared to keep them they are not interested

I hope my son manages to avoids these awful women who value money above anything else

Yes mine too.

Britpop123 · 01/03/2024 18:06

Moonlightandroses44 · 01/03/2024 18:01

Yep because it’s been taken over by a bunch of incels

There have been a few incel like posts yes
there has also been a debate around stinginess vs entitlement. On the whole, related to the thread and not an argument. I think you have headed towards personal
insults and jibes though

SamW98 · 01/03/2024 18:07

Fs365 · 01/03/2024 18:05

For some feminism only works when it benefits them, if a man isn’t prepared to keep them they are not interested

I hope my son manages to avoids these awful women who value money above anything else

Me too.

StarlightLime · 01/03/2024 18:07

Moonlightandroses44 · 01/03/2024 18:01

Yep because it’s been taken over by a bunch of incels

Stop it. Why can't you handle other people having a different opinion to yours?
It's your opinion that's niche.

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/03/2024 18:10

StarlightLime · 01/03/2024 18:07

Stop it. Why can't you handle other people having a different opinion to yours?
It's your opinion that's niche.

It's such a lazy, pointless argument.

''You don't agree with me so you must be a man''.

🙄

Terfosaurus · 01/03/2024 18:13

SamW98 · 01/03/2024 18:07

Me too.

Sometimes I read threads on here and think "I'm so glad my son is gay".

bradpittsbathwater · 01/03/2024 18:14

@Fs365 I didn't say it just applied to men or women. It works both ways

Moonlightandroses44 · 01/03/2024 18:16

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/03/2024 18:10

It's such a lazy, pointless argument.

''You don't agree with me so you must be a man''.

🙄

It’s not about the disagreement, it’s about the misogyny.

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/03/2024 18:25

Moonlightandroses44 · 01/03/2024 18:16

It’s not about the disagreement, it’s about the misogyny.

I've certainly see some questionable comments but that was mainly one poster.

Who else are you even talking about?

Uricon2 · 01/03/2024 18:27

Proof positive that there are a lot of men out there who really, really don't like women, at all. Recognise a couple of male posters on this thread with singed wings who may not totally objective on the subject.

I have never expected princess treatment in my life. I've had 2 long marriages (widowed from the first) with decent men who shared what they had as I did also. Thinking back as I have today, the "dinosaur" dinner purchasers of the first date, which was the norm then, were actually rather more attractive prospects in their thinking about women generally than someone who jibs at £2.50 for a coffee, if memory serves (as I think it does)

Moonlightandroses44 · 01/03/2024 18:42

I’ve mostly raised several points about how heterosexual relationships are not equal, due mainly to the inequality of basic human biology, but also the fact that society simply is not set up this way. These relationships are fundamentally not ‘50:50’. And yet to acknowledge that reality is somehow a kind of fundamental sin against ‘feminism’.

Not one person has meaningfully or thoughtfully engaged with that at all. Instead I am labelled as ‘entitled’, that I ‘expect to be provided for’, ‘princess’, ‘hard work’ or ‘don’t believe in equal partnership’ and then get told I can’t ‘handle’ a difference in opinion which couldn’t be further from the truth.

To completely ignore the inherent and very real risks to women when dating and having sex with men is misogynistic. I don’t think women should be shamed simply because they use a very basic act of generosity as an initial benchmark when dating, so as to assess whether it is a worthwhile risk for them.

I also really hate men invading women’s spaces and then attacking their points of view. This started off as a light hearted thread and then a man, posting on women’s forum, started complaining about how it was stingy of women to not pay halves, and outraged that he should be expected to pay ‘just because he’s a man’. I mean, god, I shouldn’t have to feel unsafe walking alone at night ‘just because I’m a woman’ but I do because men and women are not the same and we don’t live in an entirely ‘fair’ or safe society. That’s just life. You’re basically saying it should be ‘fair’ when it benefits you. As a man.

I also don’t think my views are niche at all. I just think some people are rightfully too afraid to say anything for fear of being attacked. I always get people private messaging me agreeing with me and thanking me when I post on here.

Anyway, I want to enjoy my Friday evening so I’m out ☺️. I’m also pretty sad this thread got derailed as some of the anecdotes on here are hilarious!

theDudesmummy · 01/03/2024 18:43

@Everythinggreen going back to your much earlier post: no, not at all, when we were on holiday in SA and with XH's family we were still expected to pay for everything, including their meals in restaurants, because...well, pounds.

(PS I am not just down on South Africans, my mother is South African as is my second husband as well! And I had thought it was just XH's tightarsed family, until the blind date with the guy who had exactly the same line!).

Annierob · 01/03/2024 18:54

One took me to a country fayre and quibbled over paying 30p for some lemon squash. I told him not to worry I could pay for my own drink and he looked so pleased. He was surprised when I refused a second date.
Another invited me out to a country pub for dinner. Picked me up in his car, drove me to the pub and we got there at 9pm. He bought drinks but didn’t me food so I got the menus. I am not hungry, he said and followed this with the pub stopped serving food at 9. I have plenty of food he said at my house and I will cook you dinner. We went to his house where he made lots of noise in the kitchen with saucepans on the hob then gave me microwave rice and defrosted prawns and told me he had drank three glasses of wine in the kitchen so would not be able to take me home as he was over the limit. I rang a taxi and left and never went out with him again😊

Earthlypowers · 01/03/2024 18:56

Moonlightandroses44 · 01/03/2024 18:42

I’ve mostly raised several points about how heterosexual relationships are not equal, due mainly to the inequality of basic human biology, but also the fact that society simply is not set up this way. These relationships are fundamentally not ‘50:50’. And yet to acknowledge that reality is somehow a kind of fundamental sin against ‘feminism’.

Not one person has meaningfully or thoughtfully engaged with that at all. Instead I am labelled as ‘entitled’, that I ‘expect to be provided for’, ‘princess’, ‘hard work’ or ‘don’t believe in equal partnership’ and then get told I can’t ‘handle’ a difference in opinion which couldn’t be further from the truth.

To completely ignore the inherent and very real risks to women when dating and having sex with men is misogynistic. I don’t think women should be shamed simply because they use a very basic act of generosity as an initial benchmark when dating, so as to assess whether it is a worthwhile risk for them.

I also really hate men invading women’s spaces and then attacking their points of view. This started off as a light hearted thread and then a man, posting on women’s forum, started complaining about how it was stingy of women to not pay halves, and outraged that he should be expected to pay ‘just because he’s a man’. I mean, god, I shouldn’t have to feel unsafe walking alone at night ‘just because I’m a woman’ but I do because men and women are not the same and we don’t live in an entirely ‘fair’ or safe society. That’s just life. You’re basically saying it should be ‘fair’ when it benefits you. As a man.

I also don’t think my views are niche at all. I just think some people are rightfully too afraid to say anything for fear of being attacked. I always get people private messaging me agreeing with me and thanking me when I post on here.

Anyway, I want to enjoy my Friday evening so I’m out ☺️. I’m also pretty sad this thread got derailed as some of the anecdotes on here are hilarious!

I completely agree with you.
It does look like women are scared that they would be labelled grabby and gold diggers which is nothing but misogynistic bullshit.

fetchacloth · 01/03/2024 18:58

Meanness is a really bad trait and a massive red flag for me

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/03/2024 19:01

Moonlightandroses44 · 01/03/2024 18:42

I’ve mostly raised several points about how heterosexual relationships are not equal, due mainly to the inequality of basic human biology, but also the fact that society simply is not set up this way. These relationships are fundamentally not ‘50:50’. And yet to acknowledge that reality is somehow a kind of fundamental sin against ‘feminism’.

Not one person has meaningfully or thoughtfully engaged with that at all. Instead I am labelled as ‘entitled’, that I ‘expect to be provided for’, ‘princess’, ‘hard work’ or ‘don’t believe in equal partnership’ and then get told I can’t ‘handle’ a difference in opinion which couldn’t be further from the truth.

To completely ignore the inherent and very real risks to women when dating and having sex with men is misogynistic. I don’t think women should be shamed simply because they use a very basic act of generosity as an initial benchmark when dating, so as to assess whether it is a worthwhile risk for them.

I also really hate men invading women’s spaces and then attacking their points of view. This started off as a light hearted thread and then a man, posting on women’s forum, started complaining about how it was stingy of women to not pay halves, and outraged that he should be expected to pay ‘just because he’s a man’. I mean, god, I shouldn’t have to feel unsafe walking alone at night ‘just because I’m a woman’ but I do because men and women are not the same and we don’t live in an entirely ‘fair’ or safe society. That’s just life. You’re basically saying it should be ‘fair’ when it benefits you. As a man.

I also don’t think my views are niche at all. I just think some people are rightfully too afraid to say anything for fear of being attacked. I always get people private messaging me agreeing with me and thanking me when I post on here.

Anyway, I want to enjoy my Friday evening so I’m out ☺️. I’m also pretty sad this thread got derailed as some of the anecdotes on here are hilarious!

You're still assuming that those who disagree with you are all men. That simply isn't true.

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