Stories of stingiest first dates

[frtedsbed]

Just comparing experiences here at a friends ... jaw dropping stuff!

Mine asked me to transfer money for a coffee and cake after our first date which was a walk and feeding the ducks.
I thought we were going for lunch ... that was the original invite.
Another asked me to transfer money to r a takeaway having offered to pay for my child and I , as he stayed at mine every weekend. Both ended there and then !

I've lucky never experienced a stingy date. When I met my exH at 18 I was working ft and he was at college with a small or job so I paid for most things we did. No problem. This was 1989. We had an equal 21yr relationship and always split finances.
Been dating again for a few years. All of the dates have been him buying first coffee/drink and me the next. Dinner bills split.
Most recently went on a first date via OLD but turns out we knew each other from teenage and knew many of the same people (knew this from conversations prior to meeting) . He insisted on paying first date which was dinner and drinks at Indian restaurant. I offered to split. He said his mum (who sadly passed when he was in his 20s) and his dad (also passed) told him to always pay on first date. So I let him and was grateful. I paid the next date. We've now been seeing each other about eight months and pretty much share costs, taking it in turns to pay, splitting hotel costs etc.

This thread is so depressing. I’ve always offered to pay half and happily done so. I guess because I regard myself as worth half of the potential relationship to follow. Why would anyone want to be a charity case for their date/partner?

Those bewailing the derailing of a lighthearted thread, - I get it, I clicked for light entertainment too, unfortunately the first couple of pages included supposed examples that were just off. If they had been funny examples of tight first dates then it would have continued in that vein. I was shocked that not automatically paying the whole bill on a first date constituted hilarious stinginess (if you have a penis) and that floating off and looking confused when being presented with a bill for your purchases was something a woman would willingly admit to on Reddit and expect validation. Her date sounds bizarre and undesirable but why trail around with him all night in increasingly bizarre scenarios? I mean presumably almost none of it happened but she thinks it’s a story that only shows him in a bad light.

What 30p coin is that then?

Once upon a time, I would have agreed that nowadays there's really no need for a man to pay. In theory, that's true.

In practice, I find that men who are interested will be pleased to buy you a drink or two; I actually find men do want to pay if they like you. So if a man tried to find a way not to buy me a drink on a first date, I wouldn't see him again. Not because I think I'm entitled to that precious three quid or whatever, but because it would be a sign that he wasn't into me... though that's not to say he'd refuse sex if that was on offer. And in turn, I wouldn't order anything expensive.

If he can't afford to buy a couple of drinks a week as an integral cost of dating, then he isn't in a position to be doing it.

Asked me to meet for a drink then said he's forgotten his wallet so just went for a walking date.

It ended there for me.

I hate the word ‘frugal’ so much. Everything about it.
I might get the gawks if someone used that word in front of me.

Mine is too outing, I’m going to have to name change or something 😆

One took me out for lunch - took me to Tesco and got me a child’s milkshake saying he’d pick for me 😬

Stripper events for women yes this would happen, of COURSE! The men are strippers! 🙄

But women shouting and jeering and wolf whistling and leering at men in the street. Never in 50-ish years of life have I seen that happen.

😆

Not sure this counts as stingie more grabby.

I've always went into a first date with the attitude that I would either pay full or split as I've never wanted to feel like I owe someone I don't yet really know.

I wasn't drinking as I drove, and he must've had 3 pints by the time we got onto main course. Fine, first dates can be awkward. He'd ordered an expensive main and 3 additional sides. Again, not too much of an issue. He had a couple more drinks and was becoming quite drunk at this point and I decided it was probably time to call it a night. I made my excuses and told the waiter we'd be splitting the bill. Unknown to me, he had ordered extra food to takeaway!!! When I asked him about it he said it he loved so many of their dishes so chose some food to have tomorrow too as he was a bit skint atm. I told the waiter we would instead be paying for what we each had. Then his card declined (I didn't make a big deal about that at the restaurant as not into public drama) so I ended up paying for his meal, drinking session and his meals for the next day.
To top it off, he asked if I wouldn't mind giving him a lift home and where should we go next time!!!🥴

I declined on both counts, and got a text the next day saying he'd had a nice time and asked if I was free the following week, I told him it wasn't going to happen, but to enjoy the two days of meals he'd tricked out of me and he sent me a pictures of eating the food he'd managed to scam out of me 🤣🤣

It's horrific to think these 'men' walk among us. As a pp said further back (@HandsomeGreige ) the kind of men who take women for walking dates in 5 degree temps like DOGS, and CBA to fork out money for 2 lattes need removing from the gene pool. (I was clapping and cheering, and laughing - in equal measures - at that post!) 👏😆 (18.53 Feb 29th if anyone wants to read it.)

Do these 'men' really think us women want to marry them and procreate with them? They have naff-all to offer. And as has been said, they will be crap in bed, and lazy around the house too, and will never help with the children.

I had three dates with a guy like this:

Date one: He suggests a walk. I’m into fitness so I agree (I wouldn’t now as I now know it means cheap/doesn’t want to pay). We go for a walk, during which he says he thinks we are soul mates and literally connects our heads together and says can you not feel that. I laugh and say no.

Date 2: I agree to visit him in Bristol, which is a fifty pound train fair each way. Mostly because I want to see Bristol but it’s a good excuse. He takes me to the beach which was sweet and then Nandos. When I ordered a cider at Nandos he looks annoyed and remains angry the whole meal, we split the bill. The next day we visit places around Bristol, again no money spent.

Date 3: He suggests a walk again. Tells me on this walk how he wants to marry me but I have to sign and prenup. Also that I would look better chubby - I was a happy size 6 - and critiiszes my clothes.

I don’t see him again. Can’t think why he’s never had an adult relationship.

To be honest, I'd rather a no money spent walk, than pictures the next day of some scrounger slurping the squid ink pasta for his lunch, that he'd added onto the bill!🤣🤣

Happy for a man to pay on a first date if I want to see him again (and then I’ll pay for the second) but I feel more comfortable splitting if I’m not interested (unless it’s just a coffee for example and they are happy to pay).

I do think there is a lot to be said for dating in your financial lane. I wouldn’t suggest or agree to an expensive venue unless I was sure both parties could afford it.

When I was 18 in 1st year at uni, an Army officer who was 25 (lived on barracks, not many expenses) asked me to the cinema. We ordered the tickets and stood there really awkward until I paid for both. I think I said something like will we get popcorn he said we didn't need anything. Up until then boys taking me to the cinema had paid for the tickets and I paid for popcorn.

I didn't see him again. I met him through a friend in the army and he didn't really have anything nice to say about him! But he had been so charming at the event I had met him at and good looking.

@Oliviacoleman not a date but a guy who was part of my inter-railing group kept 'forgetting' his wallet. We were all just after finishing secondary school and not rich. I eventually said well you better go back and get it after he said that at the umpteenth place in a row. I wonder did he grow up to go on that date with you 😂

He didn't come back out that night but wrote on his myspace that we were bullies and that he would love to stab us in our sleep 😐we split from travelling with him the next day

“Men who take women on ‘walk dates’ in 5 degree weather like dogs and won’t pick up a 2 drink bill need to be removed from the gene pool. Losers.”

I love this!

Squid ink pasta?! boak 😖

😶 what a creep

Me too! One of the best posts ever on here. 😆

Not a date but I used to have a male friend who was very stingy!

He would insist on splitting the bill right down to the very last penny. (I had no issue paying whatsoever but we went for dinner regularly so would have preferred to just take turns!)

He gradually drove me bonkers with the splitting (he once asked his flat mate for 4 pence as he had used one of “his” teabags to make a cup of tea!!!) so as a petty revenge whenever he would split the bill I would pay first and if it was an odd number I would always pay one penny less! I know it annoyed him no end.

We aren’t friends anymore but like a lot of other posters have said, his meanness permeated throughout our friendship in other ways and ultimately led to its demise.

Why would you expect anyone else to pay for you to go to the loo? And what's a 30p coin when it's at home?

That wasn't the worst of it. On the night he ordered rabbit lasagne, that's right RABBIT LASAGNE. It was a very modern, fusion kind of place but still!