Partners mum taking him out of the will if we buy a house together

[River9871]

Just that really what the title suggests.
Both own our own homes with equal equity and both earn around the same. However his mum says if he we buy a house together then he is out of the will and will not inherit his mums house when she dies.

What is she worried about?

has she articulated why?

Why? There must be a back story to this

What's the back story

My answer to that would be "crack on mother"

You won't have a relationship with me, my future wife or any future grandchildren.

She will hold that over him for all his life

Don't do this or thst or I will cut you out

Both make your own way in life and leave her behind

Not really a back story we are both in our forties and have children mine adults though and his late teens so I'm assuming she thinks she doesn't want me and my children benefiting from any money, Which of course they wouldn't I have my own money and inheritance coming my way.

But she must think that you owning a property together changes something? Is she hoping you might break up? Does she dislike you?

I thought she liked me but not so sure now.
Don't think she's fussed either way. I mean we aren't ever gonna have any children together and I don't live in his pocket so he often goes to his mums with his children without me although I do go with him aswell.

Why doesn't she just change it so the grandchildren are beneficiaries, why did she tell him?
She sounds manipulative.

He's not just saying it because it was said a while ago and he's only just told me. She often gives him sly digs whilst I'm there but she's 80 so 🤷 I usually just ignore

This is all very odd unless there is something you are not aware of. I guess it’s up to him whether he wants to let his mother hold him hostage over his inheritance. He should be careful though - if he allows her to dictate this then he might find there’s all kind of other things she starts dictating or demanding and threatening to disinherit him.

My MIL said this when we were in our twenties and bought a house together. FIL had “lost out” on inheritance in her mind because his dad remarried and then the stepmum inherited the house and she didn’t want any more women cheating her beloved men out of money. We’ve been together 30 years and as PP said, it was poorly thought out as I make minimal effort and ultimately I sort the family’s calendar so she sees the grandkids much less often that she’d like. You’ve gotta play the long game MILs! We have more in savings that his share of the house would have been worth so it’s really not the dramatic point she thought she was making.

Either way if she's said it or not and I don't really think he's made it up as that will be it for me in regards to having a relationship with her too old for issues with a mother in law.

She is probably assuming that you will inherit his half of the house when he dies and you could decide to then not pass it on to his children when you die and wants to make sure her grankids get something. It happens all the time. Its your joint home, you msy well want to leave your half to each other rather than set up a trust on his half or force a sale.

Or she want him not to go ahead and thinks this will manipulate him.

We've both been married and we aren't stupid we have already spoke about things that will happen when we both die my half will go to mine and same with his. Also discussed if one of us dies younger then what will happen. We will have a water tight will written up

Been together 4 years and of course his children as well as mine will have a room his kids stay a couple of times a week and often come for tea we all get along don't want to give too much information incase anyone is on here who knows us

What would she do if you bought two, three bedroom flats that were next door to one another?

Would you consider buying a holiday house (that MUM doesn't know about) but both stay living where you are now?

Why do you not want to stay where you are?

Keeping finances and home ownership separate is not a bad idea if you each have children.

No one is entitled to an inheritance. He has to make the right decision for him and if that means she doesn't give him money then that's her choice.

However I'm surprised he hasn't clarified WHY and talked about that, about what her issue is with him making things more serious with you etc. money aside, she clearly disapproves and is want to get to the bottom of that