Unmarried no will

[SynicalSocialist]

Hello, I have been with my other half for 12 years we have 3 children together and are unmarried. Being unmarried doesn’t necessarily bother me however since buying a house 4 years ago I’ve felt uneasy. Long story short my credit rating wasn’t up to scratch so he applied for the mortgage in his name and I funded the money for the house deposit. So my name isn’t on the house. I’ve asked a fair few times for him to write a will because I am aware if anything happened to him I wouldn’t necessarily be entitled to the house. For whatever reason he just doesn’t seem to get around to it making excuses etc and putting it off all the time. Also I don’t get on with his mum/sister and I worry that if anything god forbid did happen to him they would fight me for rights to the house.

so basically just wondering if anyone has any knowledge of what would happen in this situation? As I say we have children together who are very young so what would happen if something happened to him and there is no will but we are living together with children?

TIA, also no nasty comments please I feel shitty enough as it is

I think you can't force him to write a whole, and even if he did he could write a new one without you knowing.

But you should see about getting your name on the deeds of the house for the percentage deposit you put in.

Depends on the country but in England it would pass to the children after probate, which could take a very long time without a will.

It’s quite shit that he keeps putting it off, even if it’s a conversation where he says he doesn’t want you on it you need the peace of mind so that you can make your own plans without him.

You have no rights and no legal protections, people have to opt in to them, with marriage contracts. A will can be changed, so doesn’t really help your precarious situation. Your boyfriends relatives will inherit and organise any potential funeral.
The mortgage is a different thing to the deeds, your boyfriend is making a mug of you, did you at least ring fence your deposit to his property?

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/

I bring it up every other month he just repeats that he will sort it out and to basically stop going on about it. His current response has been that March is free will writing month but I’m sure this will come and go and still won’t have sorted it out. Really frustrating because be paid for the house deposit and I pay half the mortgage and half the bills and he doesn’t seem to understand I don’t feel like I have any security the way things are. Just a crap situation and honestly it’s getting me down not sure what else to do

I wasn’t aware I could be put on the deeds I will ask him about it. No I didn’t ring fence it, I’ve just been stupid and trusted him when obviously I shouldn’t have to now be left in this situation

Don't ask him fgs
Just do it
You don't need his permission

Just book the lawyer. Quite honestly I'm appalled at his attitude given you have three kids together smh

You can register your interest in the house perhaps to value of deposit but that is it

So when is he putting you on the mortgage Nevermind the will!?

Sod the will idea, I presume you are both still quite young. Basically he could split up with you at any time and have you out of the house. Why are you not married is the question? Your money is good enough? Your loyalty, your DC's- he's taken, you have given without a ring?
Get married pronto - he has no excuse not to, why have you not married him yet?

Hi OP,
It is very important that you have wills.
This can give you an idea of what happens when someone dies without a will:
https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

I think everything would be shared between your children. This would be very difficult for you and the children - for example they might want the house sold one day to release their share for a deposit for their own house. If you are owed a deposit that you paid into the house you might lose it or have to sue your own children for it (assuming their is no actual legal protection of your deposit).

I would be more pro-active than you are being. You need to sit down with your partner and discuss what would happen if either of you died currently and what you would want to happen.

Then I think you can decide whether you are booking the solicitors appt to make the wills (might as well make mirror wills unless there are complicating factors) or booking the registry office for a quick wedding. It is still worth making a will if you get married (either after or "in contemplation of marriage" or something like that the solicitor can advise as generally a marriage will void a will). But marriage will certainly give you a lot more rights and beneifts of your partners estate (although not entire).

If you are not married it is extremely important that your partner makes you the named beneficiary of any death in service/life insurance payments. Keep photocopies or emails etc carefully that prove that you are the named beneficiary. Even if you do get married this would still be sensible.

Do you have life insurance? If not it would be a good idea - would either of you be able to afford to still work and keep the family in the same lifestyle without the partners income or efforts with childcare/home keeping?

Basically I would take it a step further. He has said he is happy to make the will so just push things along and make the appointment. You can research if "free wills" is relevant and make that appointment if it is but either way do it. Put the cost on a credit card if you have to (transfer the balance to a promotional offer for example) but it could be the best money you spend. If he says he is happy to marry just book the registry office tomorrow.

Ah, if only it was that easy to get a man attached to his assets, to marry the woman who bore his children. Of course he won’t marry her now - why on earth would he?

Yes your absolutely right, I’ve asked to get married he always says there’s not enough money hence why I’ve asked for the will because I gave up long ago the idea of being married to him it’s obviously not something he wants because he’d have done it. We got engaged 5 years ago that’s about it

I’m 38 now we got together when I was 26 I just assumed we would get married but when I bring it up he entertains the idea then just says there isn’t enough money. I did suggest a registry office wedding I’m don’t want a big wedding or anything but again it’s just not happened

I know, all I get out of him is I’ll sort it then oh I forgot I’ll sort it, just goes round in circles and makes me feel like I’m nagging over it all the time

Jesus OP.

Very similar situation here. Mortgage, deposit, deeds. Just no kids.

But... when we bought the house he ensured signed wills were in place before we set off on the drive (long move) post completion in case anything should happen to him.

Then when it hit him about the inheritance tax I might face, he suggested we get a move on and get married. Which we did, with very little cost and fuss - how we wanted it.

That's someone who's looking out for me.

I think getting married/civil partnered is the simplest thing for legal protection in your case. I don't think it costs all that much of you miss out all the usual stuff which clearly you aren't bothered about. Just book it in and grab a couple of witnesses.

The time he went on holiday wrote we were married and he transferred his whole personal savings to our joint account, to ensure I had quick and easy access in a worst case scenario.

Again, this is how someone should protect you.

*before we were married

Also I don’t get on with his mum/sister and I worry that if anything god forbid did happen to him they would fight me for rights to the house.

The children are his next of kin, so they would inherit, not you or his mum/sister. IANAL though. And although the children would inherit, I'm not sure where that would leave you, with regards to the house etc., as they'd be under age.

Let me be a lesson to you, we had no children but not married, no will. His parents got the two houses and the life insurance. I got one small pension, worth about £1200 and even that was questioned.

What would he do if you just booked an appointment with a solicitor? Or, given you're already engaged, a registry office?

You need to proactively protect yourself - if he dies without a will your children will inherit the house. That would be a massive hassle to sort out.

Go to a solicitors and set up a protection for the deposit you paid and the mortgage payments you have made. Ideally get on the deeds and make sure you own your part of the house in your own name. I get tenants in common and joint tenants muddled, but you need to own the part of the house you have paid for.
he could ask you to leave tomorrow and you are currently entitled to a grand total of nothing as it is all in his name.

what a muddle you are currently in

I don’t understand why not getting married not bother you but not getting a split of the house does? It’s the same thing. Marriage is not a wedding. Going to the register office is easier and cheaper than the will.