Unmarried no will

[SynicalSocialist]

Hello, I have been with my other half for 12 years we have 3 children together and are unmarried. Being unmarried doesn’t necessarily bother me however since buying a house 4 years ago I’ve felt uneasy. Long story short my credit rating wasn’t up to scratch so he applied for the mortgage in his name and I funded the money for the house deposit. So my name isn’t on the house. I’ve asked a fair few times for him to write a will because I am aware if anything happened to him I wouldn’t necessarily be entitled to the house. For whatever reason he just doesn’t seem to get around to it making excuses etc and putting it off all the time. Also I don’t get on with his mum/sister and I worry that if anything god forbid did happen to him they would fight me for rights to the house.

so basically just wondering if anyone has any knowledge of what would happen in this situation? As I say we have children together who are very young so what would happen if something happened to him and there is no will but we are living together with children?

TIA, also no nasty comments please I feel shitty enough as it is

How do you know that he hasn't got a will? He could have one and have left everything to his mother/sister/the kids. Whatever the position, you wouldn't be getting it.

If the house is the only asset then the estate is "simple" and he could get a will done for about £350. There's an excellent will writer on here called @Mumblechum (she did mine recently - I'm a lawyer myself and she did a great job).

Ask him outright if he wants to see you homeless if he were to die. Explain that you would not have a right to the house and force him to make a proper will (not a home made one). If he won't, stop contributing to any household costs because that money is money you're unlikely to see again. Yes you can challenge it if he dies without a will but that sort of litigation is very expensive and you really don't want to be in that position.

Why don't you take control of this and either book a will writing session or register your interest to marry at your local registry office, both will only cost a few hundred ££. Then tell him what you've done.

Out of the two, marriage is the better option because he could change a will without you knowing.

If he freaks out, you've got your answer. If he thanks you, you know he's just shit at planning and admin.

The only good to have come out of this relationship at all here is your children.

Do your children have his surname?. Yet more power all too freely handed over to him by you if this is the case. He has fully taken advantage of your naivety here when it’s come to the mortgage and lack of a will.

He is a supremely selfish man who does not want to share any aspect of his life with you anyway and when it comes to money.

Thanks for coming back OP, I think lots of people were worried that tactless posters had scared you off.

Either way, booking an appointment with a solicitor is a good idea. Hopefully that will be to make a will, but if not then you can talk about your deposit.

God knows where this idea that marriage is ‘just a piece of paper’ came from - probably the rebellious Sixties. Property was a lot cheaper back then and in far greater supply. But it hasn’t done women and children many favours!

NB. It always staggers me that a man or woman in a long term non-married relationship, with children, could quite legally walk into a registry office one morning and marry someone else.

Just organise the will appt. Both make a will at the same time. If you organise it, surely he can't get out of it.

there are a number of charities that offer free will writing all year round - please see the below links www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/free-cheap-wills/ www.nationalfreewills.net/charity-logos/ . nobody should ever be put off making a will due to upfront cost.

This is a man who will not do this. It doesnt benefit him at all to change this. Having no life insurance is beyond irresponsible.

make the solicitors appointment yourself for you both to go and change the house deeds. have your paperwork ready.

He can sort life insurance this evening.

do not be a passive bystander with any more life changing decisions.

and again, a will alone is absolutely useless for you.

I’m not sure the charity will-writing route is best for OP right now - charities are surely hoping for a bequest and that will add additional complication.

I’m all for giving to charity by the way, but OP is probably best booking a paid-for appointment that can be used flexibly according to what she needs.