Unmarried no will

[SynicalSocialist]

Hello, I have been with my other half for 12 years we have 3 children together and are unmarried. Being unmarried doesn’t necessarily bother me however since buying a house 4 years ago I’ve felt uneasy. Long story short my credit rating wasn’t up to scratch so he applied for the mortgage in his name and I funded the money for the house deposit. So my name isn’t on the house. I’ve asked a fair few times for him to write a will because I am aware if anything happened to him I wouldn’t necessarily be entitled to the house. For whatever reason he just doesn’t seem to get around to it making excuses etc and putting it off all the time. Also I don’t get on with his mum/sister and I worry that if anything god forbid did happen to him they would fight me for rights to the house.

so basically just wondering if anyone has any knowledge of what would happen in this situation? As I say we have children together who are very young so what would happen if something happened to him and there is no will but we are living together with children?

TIA, also no nasty comments please I feel shitty enough as it is

Tell him you'll no longer be contributing to the mortgage costs until he puts you on the deeds. Please do not continue paying to a house you have no rights over. Maybe that'll focus his mind.

Be wary if he does a will only, as he could change that without you knowing.

So he doesn’t care about you enough to make sure you are protected in the event of his death? Even after you facilitated the purchase of your home and continue to fund it? Sounds a catch.

I sincerely hope you aren't a sahm mother op.

You can arrange a civil partnership for under £200.
If he's dragging his feet because he's feckless why not be proactive and make the preliminary appointment with the registrar yourself and bring him along.
If he refuses to comply when you've done all the leg work then you'll know you have to get your ducks in a row and start building your own life separate to him so you have some sort of security in future.

If he has no will then his children would inherit under intestacy laws, not his other relatives - up to a certain amount anyway.

stop asking him to sort it, just sort it yourself OP. Deeds, then mortgage, then will. Ring round solicitors to get the cheapest quote to do the work. As you’re paying half the mortgage you have equitable rights at least.

Dear God, why do women do this to themselves, why?

As things stand now, legally, you've given him a chunk of money which is now in a house which belongs wholly and solely to him. He can chuck you in the street tomorrow and it's his house; the money won't come back to you. A sudden death would also leave you in a very bad position, but a breakup is a lot more likely in the short term, and even worse for you financially.

He doesn't want to get married, and he will clearly never voluntarily sort out a will, so your options are: 1) say goodbye to the money forever and start laying the groundwork for a life without him, 2) force the issue by making and paying for a will writing appointment - but you will have to force him every step of the way, you'll have to find two witnesses and get them to stand over him to sign it, 3) consult a lawyer about either legally laying claim to the house or forcing recognition of your part ownership.

Sorry OP but he knows exactly what he is doing here. He is making sure you get no credit for the deposit you put in and the payments you are making on the mortgage and that the property is only his. He has no interest in protecting you and your interests.

At the moment you have contributed more to the house than he did. But he owns it.

Sod the will, you need to be on the deeds to the house! Especially if you paid the deposit! He must have seen you coming! Doesn't get round to it my arse!

And make sure you keep evidence of the mortgage payments you make. I wouldn't be surprised if this charmer has said something like "I'll make the mortgage payments from my account and you can pay the equivalent for the other bills from your account"

As someone says the will is useless because it can be changed without you knowing. On the other hand, a marriage and a divorce invalidates a will automatically.

☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️

Paying towards the mortgage isn't proof of shit. You pay towards your landlord's mortgage when you rent, but that doesn't give you a claim on their house. The only way to prove ownership is the deeds. Saying that you paid towards the mortgage gets you nowhere at all. OP would be better off trying to legally force the issue of the money she put up for the deposit; presumably she can prove it legally came from her, and hopefully she won't have signed anything to say she gave it as a gift. (Please tell us you didn't sign to say you were gifting him the money when you (he) bought the house.)

@SynicalSocialist He's refusing to marry you and will not write a will to include you, I think he does not want to to have any ownership over the assets. Maybe he is afraid of you leaving him. Could you get a second job so you can both contribute to his house you live ( you are his tennant) and start saving up for your own place to give you security. I do think he needs to be honest about not wanting you any access to assets. If he wants his house to go to the children when he dies you'll get have to accept it and make provision for having another place to move into should he dies and you'll have to sell your home and give your money to the children. I think you need an honest conversation with him about you providing your own security by a weekend or evening job.

@SynicalSocialist Are you a stay at home Mum?

Hi, just checking that you are aware that marriage revokes a will (unless made ‘in contemplation of marriage and specific wording included). So if you did wills without this clause before you got married, the marriage has revoked the wills and if either of you died, your estate would pass under the intestacy provisions.

I think you'll probably split up before any death is likely to occur. Ask yourself, or even him, this, if you were to split, would he give you half the value of his house and half of joint savings? If not, stop paying half the mortgage, in fact its madness that you are paying half for an asset you have no rights to when you have DC's to care for.

Did you look at the citizens advice link I posted, @SynicalSocialist ?
Your boyfriend has got your deposit and has no intention to add you to the deed of his property (and could remove you at any time), and clearly will not marry you, so you need to take action to get some basic security in life.
A solicitor could maybe help you attempt to get your deposit back, but I expect it’d be difficult. Are you employed? (I dread the answer to this..)

Please, please, PLEASE tell me that you at least work part time and have your own savings in your sole name?

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/#:~:text=Your%20legal%20rights%20as%20a,than%20if%20you're%20married.

A landlord/tenant situation is entirely different to this one. No tenant could ever claim an equitable interest in the house they rent just by paying rent. OP is in a different situation.

If, as I suspect may happen, the OP is left high and dry and trying to prove an equitable interest in the house then yes proof that she paid half of the mortgage from day 1 will matter - if her fucker of a partner shows that she only paid half of the other bills but not the mortgage, that will matter. As will proof that she paid the deposit. She is in a very very precarious position but she needs to shore up as much as she can - including making sure she has the proof that mortgage payments came out of a joint account that she paid into in equal parts with her partner and that she also paid half of other bills.

Obviously if she marries him or is added as a joint owner to the deeds, that is ideal. But I think a man who won't even make a will in favour of the mother of his 3 children might be a bit hard to persuade on this one. He is clearly not interested in making the situation fair for the OP. So she needs to think of worst case scenario.

Maybe also put some things in writing, so send a text saying why don't I book an appointment for the will bla bla, so you have some kind of proof?

You do need to address your situation urgently op. His children would inherit everything under the intestacy provisions; however as they are minors, someone would have to act on their behalf to take out ‘grant of letters of administration’ (like probate where there is no will). There could be dispute with his family over who is best to do this. With a will an executor (you? Solicitor?) is appointed to act, so no dispute. They would become entitled to everything at age 18 which is very young. Would they be responsible enough at this age? Will they have drug or alcohol problems? A controlling partner? A looming divorce? Bankrupt? We don’t know. A flexible trust set up in a will can protect the children’s inheritance until such time as they are ready to manage a large sum of money (on second death? Or if you both died at the same time). Further you are not entitled to anything under the intestacy provisions, however if you have been cohabiting over 2 years, you can bring a 1975 act claim against the estate for reasonable provision. This must be done within 6 months of the grant. This would be expensive and you would be claiming against your own children. So best avoided and easily dealt with in the Will. If you are considering a will and marriage, bear in mind that marriage revokes a will unless made in ‘contemplation of marriage’ and specific wording is included. You could always re-sign with witnesses the Will made pre marriage after marriage if you don’t have a wedding date set when you make you will and it still met your requirements.
If you were married and he died without a Will then the intestacy provisions would mean that you were entitled to the first £322k and half the rest and you children the other half. Even if the £322k does cover all his assets, it’s still better to have a Will to appoint executors and be certain on the distribution, asset values can change. Also to make provision for the children so that if you both died they don’t inherit at age 18. Further there is an inheritance tax exemption between married couples and anything not ‘used’ on gifts to non exempt beneficiaries can be transferred to the surviving spouse so the tax free allowance of £325k is effectively doubled on second death. There is a further exemption for residential property left to direct descendants that provides a further £175k Iht exemption and can also be transferred to a surviving spouse.

You are in a very vulnerable situation here but I'm sure you already know that. And you already know the ONLY way to guarantee your security is a quick trip to a registry office. No fuss, no drama and can cost the same as a dinner in a fancy restaurant so no excuse of not having enough money

Stop paying half the mortgage until your name is on the deeds. Are you insane?? You have three kids with zero assets, protections. He could throw you out of the house tomorrow
Book a lawyer and get it done, if he refuses you know where you stand and can make provisions to leave.

This ^