Are there really as many women as it sounds who deny ex access to children?

[Rainbow03]

I don’t personally know of anyone who has done this. But when you speak to people, especially men you always hear the story of the evil ex women denying contact or making it difficult etc.

My own partner says he has a friend whose ex only allows access if he gives her money.

Do women genuinely behave like this as much as you hear about and why is the story constantly being told.

It makes it difficult when you have actually denied contact to seem legit and I hate telling people in RL. In my case it was drugs and abuse but people probably think I’m one of those ex’s.

included in that would be abuse of my own children.

what the heck were your children doing in her company

and why were you even discussing your DH with her?

All sounds very very messy to me

No 🙄

because… i’m not male

and as his partner you may think you’ve experienced it through the male perspective. But you haven’t. You moved in this man after 3 poxy months. So forgive me for not necessarily thinking you know what’s in the best interests of children

I had a women judge for most of the case in court. She was by far fairer then the male judges. Not one of the males judges read any of the paper work and just ignored what we both had to say. The female judge pointed out positives in my ex even after judging him to be abusive. She gave him opportunities and was also pro contact that was safe for our daughter. My ex never made any accusations against me so it was really only him being on trial so to say.

your children met his son for the first time ever aged 7 and 10 presumably?

i’ll bow out and hide thread. all sounds like a circus of shit from all angles. depressing.

Probably best because you are questioning what I've been through and it's upsetting

I personally know 2 women that do this, not only to the fathers but to the loving grandparents and Auntie too.

It's very sad.

My ex would also say his experience of court was upsetting and he didn’t know why he was there or why I stopped contact and why it’s all woe him. He calls me all sorts of names over WhatsApp and tells my daughter awful stories. Yet he quite happily told the judge that he did indeed throw things at me that hit our child and he did push me out the house whilst I had our daughter and told me if I returned he’d do something he’d regret that amongst many others.. he thought that was nothing and I asked for it and sometimes he had a bad back and it made him react to me badly etc etc, he didn’t mean any of it I just took all the threats the wrong way. I don’t think I’ll believe anyone again.

DDs dad tells this tale about me. On paper he appears the perfect man/father but the reality is far from it. He doesn’t pay the amount set by CMS as he can’t afford it, yet I’ve been slagged off for bleeding him dry.

His DD will no longer see him, apparently I have orchestrated this despite how difficult I find never having a break or how to fit in other commitments

I think both parties generally play a role in lack of access. Also, a lot men don't actually parent and are inconsistent.

I have noticed that too. The male judge had to ask us about what was stated on some paperwork as he hadn't read it. That isn't very reassuring when it's to do with the well-being of children.

most cases I've seen the "denying contact" is saying no when ex deliberately chooses the most random / inconvenient time possible once in a blue moon

I am probably being portrayed as a mother who is keeping her son from his dad. My son is 5.

My ex is abusive. Police involvement though I decided not to press charges - stupid really.

However he will blame me for everything. He is constantly letting us down however I don't bite. I don't argue with him. I'm as nice as pie through gritted teeth. Because I know full well if I get angry, he will use that to portray me as crazy.

Since he is out of my life and moved on straight to the next woman whilst continue to abuse me - post separation is abuse and very real - I offered my exh 1 day every other weekend. If he wanted more contact he must work to build the trust up.

• today is his day to have ds. He's cancelled as he's ill. I said 'that's fine, get better soon' 🙄
• he cancelled the previous 2 weeks as he took his new girlfriend to London instead. He had him for 2 hours one night instead.
• he's way behind on his child maintenance and has only paid £30 in the last 10 weeks.
• he doesn't FaceTime or ask how ds is. School have tried to contact him in regards to ds well being and he ignored the call. They left a voicemail but he never called back.

I'm at the end of my tether and however I am not stopping contact.

I refuse to offer more as I don't trust him with my child and he doesn't want it anyway.
I refuse to call him or FaceTime because it could upset ds. Plus I do absolutely everything for him. If he wanted to call, he would pick up the phone.

Ex is 100% narcissistic which means he is excellent at playing the villain.

He has a 10 year old son who has decided he no longer wants to see his dad.

Why his new girlfriend thinks he's such a catch I have no idea....however I do because I fell for it when I met him. I also thought he was a victim. Plus he's really charming....it's annoying.

That always seems to be an issue. Because you have more of the time with the child they expect that they can just turn up with no notice and demand the child. Mine would get very aggressive if I said we have plans so can’t, he used to come to my door swearing or down the phone. That’s not good for the child at all.