Are there really as many women as it sounds who deny ex access to children?

[Rainbow03]

I don’t personally know of anyone who has done this. But when you speak to people, especially men you always hear the story of the evil ex women denying contact or making it difficult etc.

My own partner says he has a friend whose ex only allows access if he gives her money.

Do women genuinely behave like this as much as you hear about and why is the story constantly being told.

It makes it difficult when you have actually denied contact to seem legit and I hate telling people in RL. In my case it was drugs and abuse but people probably think I’m one of those ex’s.

even if NRP has demonstrated years of not attending anything to do with the schooling or health of his children?

His ex is extremely manipulative and unfortunately managed to wrap these professionals around her little finger.

Oh @24hrCarer

so your dh took his ex to court to get access or increase access

and it hugely backfired by the sounds of it?

so he wanted residency and took her to court

but all professionals involved were so appalled that he ended up losing the existing access arrangements he had and even almost going to supervised visits only ?

My ex claimed that he couldn't have the children overnight for the first year because he was at his mother's house. Absolutely no reason he couldn't just that he didn't want to. Thankfully my ex prioritised his children and got his own place after this year - most men are capable of finding a place to live, even if it's not as nice as the primary residence.

I'm not saying there aren't women who alienate the fathers but a lot of the time it's men making terrible choices and then blaming the ex.

She would even encourage me to emotionally abuse my DH.

his ex would honestly be trying to encourage you to emotionally abuse your DH?

how so?

I'm not saying that there aren't women who do this, they are awful but I don't believe the narrative that there are loads of women that do this. Most of the stories I see and hear are from women desperate for some respite and men wanting contact on their (unreasonable) terms or not at all.

@24hrCarer

it sounds like they were appalled.

Your husband took his ex to court for residency

and ended up having to even defend himself against supervised visits

To say it massively backfired would be an understatement

what did he actually walk away with in terms of access? given supervised visits only was “very very” close to happening?

sounds like she knew what worked with him

He sees them most weekends. He travels alot. His usual week is leaving at 5-6am and getting back around 8pm with 1-3 overnight stays. Thank you for your suspicions.

@Firstnews24 Who knows but it's a vile thing to suggest. Didn't want anything to do with her. I won't even talk to her now after everything she has done.

what has she actually done?

Lied and cried and managed to manipulate the entire family court system?

@Firstnews24 Yes I do think social workers cannot spot abuse or alienation. They even admitted they have no training on parental alienation so go figure 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyway, it's a very complex situation with years and years of court cases, which started solely due to the mum's behaviour.

@Firstnews24 It would take me about 100 pages to write what she has done but included in that would be abuse of my own children. She's not a nice person. Not sure why you can't accept that women can be vile.

@MrBanana £160 a month it’s going to go far and I wouldn’t say that helps me in any way reduce my need to work. I own my own home and did before him. I worked a lot more with him than I do now. I was able to work the days he was at home. He now has another lady and their children to look after so works apparently 6 days a week. Often cash in hand so it’s doesn’t come this way for his child we share.

I don’t resent parenting my daughter more at all. The more she spends with me the less she has to witness him shouting and swearing at his girlfriend. If he cancels his days then so be it. Daughter is starting to not want to go because she is scared of his shouting. He is making a rod for his own back. I promote safe contact.

@Firstnews24 have you ever been through the family court system from a father's perspective?

@24hrCarer I don’t doubt women can be vile. I just don’t think with all I’ve been through I would trust a man’s story outright. I’ve never really met any vile women. Lots of clicky women at the school gate and women at work bitching about other women I have.