2 children + 1 dull husband = affair

[middleclassalchy]

I have never done "message boards" before, but read an article on mumsnet in the Guardian, struck a chord..maybe there are other mothers out there who dont live their lives around which is the right school, can junior read better than a n other how many different types of veg can I fit into my Waitrose quick check bag to look
impressive.

Anyway, I am mid 30`s, married for 10 years, 2 boys and so very, very bored. Over Christmas a neighbour, who I have known for 8 years, and I started something which should not have been started and blimey, life has got so much more interesting! So far, even though he lives only 2 mins away, we have been very discreet and no one knows, however its eating me up. I now not only find my husband boring, but also am begining to dislike him.

I have a "meeting" planned for Fri evening...what do I do...carry on things as its giving me a bounce in my step and a reason to get up. Or.....?

This subject matter always brings out strong emotions in people. There are many who are black and white about it and hold the moral high ground.

I think that was me too 4 years ago before my dh was mcc(having an affair).
I have every reason in the world to be the "other woman basher" but having lived through the nightmare of a loved ones affair I have learned it's not black and white, much in life especially in relationships is grey!

Every single one of us is capable of being in the situation mcc is in- I can hear the calls of no way never me- I thought that about my dh.....he thought it about himself!
However if the circumstances are such, the time in your life arises and time place person come together at the right or should I say wrong time)affairs can start for anyone of us. It's just that many of us are strong enough to be able to make the right choices or are never at that place in our lives.

What is to be achieved by "bashing" this mum- surely she's come on here to explore her options , to seek support to make difficult decisions in her life....we do not live her life she has to every day....There is amongst it all lots of good advice about how to move on from where she is now- because where she is now is just a "quick fix" and ego boost- a very powerful lift in her life....but I think by comingon here in the first place she already sees it's not real it's not sustainable as it is.

I don't forgive my dh for what he did...some things in life re unforgivable....he struggled to forgive himself when he finally came out of the fantasy but we have made some sense of it and that's why I can say with some certainty that each and every one of us could be mcc!

Hear hear maturer! MCA, I hope you have seen some more balanced views now - we did warn you at the start of your thread that you wouldn't find much sympathy.

Do consider taking some time out with DCs - and talking through your possible self-esteem issues with someone. An affair is a great way to boost your life if you are feeling 'bored'/unhappy, but it doesn't last and is cruel and painful and dishonest. I can't imagine you are very happy in yourself right now.

middleclassalchy, I would like you to know that I never meant for it to come across as me knowing for a fact that you only stay in the marriage for the money/security.
I wrote it sounded to me like you were staying in the relationship for the money/security.

Maybe I should have put a question mark at the end of it to make that even clearer.

Hope you get everything sorted out, so you can all be happy again, whether it be together or apart.

glad you came back MCA
and
a break away maybe just the thing you need..some space and thinking time..

i think he sounds cruel to say that stuff to you re his work
..its eye of the beholder n all that..