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Original poster

Bedsheets and sex

298 replies

harerunner · 31/01/2024 16:22

I'm currently enjoying a new relationship, and we're having a lot of sex 🙂... every night we're together. I've not had that for a very long time!

Do those of you lucky enough to be in my position change your bedsheets every night (like I currently do), or put up with a "wet patch" and crusty sheets the next evening, or do something different (I used to put a towel down in my last relationship but sex was more planned then - now it's spontaneous and stopping to go get a towel kinda breaks the mood!)

I've only got two sheets and with work and other pressures, one of these days I'm. It going to have a clean sheet to put on! I may have to buy more! I can't be the only one with this dilemma.

OP posts:
RainbowZebraWarrior · 31/01/2024 20:19

'The room smelling of semen and bum' <boak>

This puts me in mind of Val and Harvey from League of Gentlemen.

The smell of Sex and Shame we used to joke back in my day. (I think it may be an old family guy quote)

MermaidEyes · 31/01/2024 20:23

Just be careful you don't get the hand towel mixed up with the sex towel.

Dweetfidilove · 31/01/2024 20:30

Unless you’re leaking, infected or no one practises daily hygiene, there can’t be that much crust / smell.

Enjoy your daily frolicking 🥳

FizzyStream · 31/01/2024 20:31

This thread has really cheered me up. Thank you!

XMissPlacedX · 31/01/2024 20:32

@harerunner it was a sympathy shag, with I hadn't bothered afterwards Wink

Deadringer · 31/01/2024 20:55

Omg this thread is the funnist I have seen on here for a long time, so many hilarious posts. Please keep them coming (not op's dp, he might drown us)

SquishyGloopyBum · 31/01/2024 20:55

I came on here to mention penis beaker.

Maybe you need a cum beaker, one or both could drip into it afterwards......

This thread needs to go into classics!

ooooohnoooooo · 31/01/2024 20:59

This thread is peak Mumsnet. Glorious

Blarn · 31/01/2024 20:59

Hijinks75 · 31/01/2024 19:01

I too have zero idea what a penis beaker is and I’m male

You have to search penis beaker. Google it, it was picked up in the press.

PrawnDumplings · 31/01/2024 21:01

MrTumbleDryer · 31/01/2024 16:44

I would change the bed. Dribbles abd leaks affect the duvet too, plus 2 sweaty bodies, pillows sweaty and musty.
My DC would want to climb into my bed, Id hate their bare feet or hands touch sexual liquids. The room will smell of semen and bum if the bedding isn't changed and room aired. One solution is sex in the bathroom or a large towel on chair or standing up quicky.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

PrawnDumplings · 31/01/2024 21:03

SecondUsername4me · 31/01/2024 17:09

Maybe do that thing that's recommended for toddler beds - multi layers. Waterproof sheet/normal sheet x 3. Then after sex just whip the top two layers off

Now THAT is a textbook MN solution!

Semen & bum indeed! 🙄🙄🙄

TheBayLady · 31/01/2024 21:06

2anddone · 31/01/2024 18:44

@TheBayLady penis beaker is a Mumsnet classic thread from years ago where a poster asked how do people clean themselves after sex...a poster mentioned they have a penis beaker by the bed for the husband to dunk into...the thread is a thing of legends I will try to find it for you

Wow😂Thanks for enlightening me. My Dh says not a chance, may have to put a glass beside his bed tonight.

PrawnDumplings · 31/01/2024 21:08

EarringsandLipstick · 31/01/2024 17:28

This , we finish , both get given a tissue , go to bathroom - very rarely end up with a wet patch . Simple.

Exactly - and the tissue is not always required either - trip to toilet if needed is usually fine.

You both "get given" a tissue....

Who by? The special tidy up sex tissue fairy....? 🧚‍♀️ 💦

PrawnDumplings · 31/01/2024 21:10

"Besides, even if it mostly stays in at the time, it can dribble out during the night..."

FGS Get up and pee OP or you'll get cystitis!

Mycatsarethebest · 31/01/2024 21:10

@Zephyry my H calls the tissue a "peeny wrap" 😂

flusterbluff · 31/01/2024 21:13

@MrTumbleDryer you never responded to multiple questions about bum. Why would your sheets smell of bum?

BananaSplitsss · 31/01/2024 21:16

AMuser · 31/01/2024 16:47

I think I’ve heard it all now

“The room will smell of semen and bum if the bedding isn't changed and room aired. One solution is sex in the bathroom or a large towel on chair or standing up quicky.” The smell of bum indeed @MrTumbleDryer 😂😂

This made me laugh. Sex smells .
End of.

OP. I’d be getting more sheets and please stop stealth boasting… it’ll be four weeks tomorrow since I last had sex. My husband works away though…

Deadringer · 31/01/2024 21:17

SquishyGloopyBum · 31/01/2024 20:55

I came on here to mention penis beaker.

Maybe you need a cum beaker, one or both could drip into it afterwards......

This thread needs to go into classics!

Cum bucket rather than beaker maybe, this guy is a producer!

lolomoon · 31/01/2024 21:18

Wisenotboring · 31/01/2024 17:30

The thought of sex being preceeded by the procurement of a special shagging towel really is enough to make my fanny snap shut forever. I'm probably a bit grim but generally i find that pulling out carefully and maybe some tissues nearby before the inevitable trip to the loo is sufficient. With a combination of children, work and hormones, sex can be hard enough to get enough of. I'm quite certain that if I also knew we were going to have to wash the sheets each time we just wouldn't bother 😂.

"Fanny snap shut forever" i'm dead. 🤣

ianshe · 31/01/2024 21:19

AcridAndStanLee · 31/01/2024 17:42

One of you is producing too much liquid during your encounters.

No such thing

Helabel1 · 31/01/2024 21:20

This has cheered me up no end. Particularly that the room will smell of bum if not aired, and that semen and bum sound like solicitors 🤣🤣🤣

Dapbag · 31/01/2024 21:21

MermaidEyes · 31/01/2024 18:11

Too many holes.

Show quote history

You? Or the doily?

Cicciabella · 31/01/2024 21:21

Omg laughing so much my teen just came in and asked if I was alright!!!

Nmw09 · 31/01/2024 21:22

I just roll out of the bed and go empty in the loo and get back in.

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